Arthur Golden - Memoirs of a Geisha

“I have a task for you to do in Gion. If it works out as I hope, our company will be back on its feet in a year or so. When I ask you for that piece of concrete back and replace it with a jewel instead, the time will have come at last for me to become your danna .”

My skin felt as cold as glass when I heard this; but I showed no sign of it. “How mysterious, Nobu-san. A task I could undertake, which would be helpful to Iwamura Electric?”

“It’s an awful task. I won’t lie to you. During the final two years before Gion closed, there was a man named Sato who used to go to parties as a guest of the Prefectural Governor. I want you to come back so you can entertain him.”

I had to laugh when I heard this. “How horrible a task can that be? However much Nobu-san dislikes him, I’m sure I’ve entertained worse.”

“If you remember him, you’ll know exactly how horrible it is. He’s irritating, and he acts like a pig. He tells me he always sat across the table so he could stare at you. You’re the only thing he ever talks about-when he talks, that is; because mostly he just sits. Maybe you saw him mentioned in the news magazines last month; he was just appointed to be a Deputy Minister of Finance.”

“My goodness!” I said. “He must be very capable.”

“Oh, there are fifteen or more men who hold that title. I know he’s capable of pouring sake into his mouth; that’s the only thing I’ve ever seen him do. It’s a tragedy that the future of a great company like ours should be affected by a man like him! It’s a terrible time to be alive, Sayuri.”

“Nobu-san! You mustn’t say a thing like that.”

“Why on earth not? No one’s going to hear me.”

“It isn’t a matter of who hears you. It’s your attitude! You shouldn’t think that way.”

“Why shouldn’t I? The company has never been in worse condition. All through the war, the Chairman resisted what the government told him to do. By the time he finally agreed to cooperate, the war was almost over, and nothing we ever made for them-not one thing-was taken into battle. But has that stopped the Americans from classifying Iwamura Electric as a zaibatsu just like Mitsubishi? It’s ridiculous. Compared to Mitsubishi, we were like a sparrow watching a lion. And there’s something worse: if we can’t convince them of our case, Iwamura Electric will be seized, and its assets sold to pay war reparations! Two weeks ago I’d have said that was bad enough, but now they’ve appointed this fellow Sato to make a recommendation about our case. Those Americans think they were clever to appoint a Japanese. Well, I’d rather have seen a dog take the job than this man.” Suddenly Nobu interrupted himself. “What on earth is the matter with your hands?”

Since coming up from the annex, I’d kept my hands hidden as best I could. Obviously Nobu had caught sight of them somehow. “Mr. Arashino was kind enough to give me the job of making dyes.”

“Let’s hope he knows how to remove those stains,” said Nobu. “You can’t go back to Gion looking like that.”

“Nobu-san, my hands are the least of my problems. I’m not sure I can go back to Gion at all. I’ll do my best to persuade Mother, but truthfully, it isn’t my decision. Anyway, I’m sure there are other geisha who’ll be helpful-”

“There aren’t other geisha! Listen to me, I took Deputy Minister Sato to a teahouse the other day with half a dozen people. He didn’t speak a word for an hour, and then finally he cleared his throat and said, ‘This isn’t the Ichiriki.’ So I told him, ‘No, it’s not. You certainly got that right!’ He grunted like a pig, and then said, ‘Sayuri entertains at the Ichiriki.’ So I told him, ‘No, Minister, if she were in Gion at all, she would come right here and entertain us. But I told you-she isn’t in Gion!’ So then he took his sake cup-”

“I hope you were more polite with him than that,” I said.

“I certainly wasn’t! I can tolerate his company for about half an hour. After that I’m not responsible for the things I say. That’s exactly the reason I want you there! And don’t tell me again it isn’t your decision. You owe this to me, and you know it perfectly well. Anyway, the truth is… I’d like the chance to spend some time with you myself…”

“And I would like to spend time with Nobu-san.”

“Just don’t bring any illusions with you when you come.”

“After the past few years, I’m sure I don’t have any left. But is Nobu-san thinking of something in particular?”

“Don’t expect me to become your danna in a month, that’s what I’m saying. Until Iwamura Electric has recovered, I’m in no position to make such an offer. I’ve been very worried about the company’s prospects. But to tell the truth, Sayuri, I feel better about the future after seeing you again.”

“Nobu-san! How kind!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not trying to flatter you. Your destiny and mine are intertwined. But I’ll never be your danna if Iwamura Electric doesn’t recover. Perhaps the recovery, just like my meeting you in the first place, is simply meant to be.”

During the final years of the war, I’d learned to stop wondering what was meant to be and what wasn’t. I’d often said to the women in the neighborhood that I wasn’t sure if I’d ever go back to Gion-but the truth is, I’d always known I would. My destiny, whatever it was, awaited me there. In these years away, I’d learned to suspend all the water in my personality by turning it to ice, you might say. Only by stopping the natural flow of my thoughts in this way could I bear the waiting. Now to hear Nobu refer to my destiny… well, I felt he’d shattered the ice inside me and awakened my desires once again.

“Nobu-san,” I said, “if it’s important to make a good impression on Deputy Minister Sato, perhaps you should ask the Chairman to be there when you entertain him.”

“The Chairman is a busy man.”

“But surely if the Minister is important to the future of the company-”

“You worry about getting yourself there. I’ll worry about what’s best for the company. I’ll be very disappointed if you’re not back in Gion by the end of the month.”

Nobu rose to leave, for he had to be back in Osaka before nightfall. I walked him to the entryway to help him into his coat and shoes, and put his fedora on his head for him. When I was done, he stood looking at me a long while. I thought he was about to say he found me beautiful-for this was the sort of comment he sometimes made after gazing at me for no reason.

“My goodness, Sayuri, you do look like a peasant!” he said. He had a scowl on his face as he turned away.

That very night while the Arashinos slept, I wrote to Mother by the light of the tadon burning under the dye vats in the annex. Whether my letter had the proper effect or whether Mother was already prepared to reopen the okiya, I don’t know; but a week later an old woman’s voice called out at the Arashinos’ door, and I rolled it open to find Auntie there. Her cheeks had sunken where she’d lost teeth, and the sickly gray of her skin made me think of a piece of sashimi left on the plate overnight. But I could see that she was still a strong woman; she was carrying a bag of coal in one hand and foodstuffs in the other, to thank the Arashinos for their kindness toward me.

The next day I said a tearful farewell and went back to Gion, where Mother, Auntie, and I set about the task of putting things back in order. When I’d had a look around the okiya, the thought crossed my mind that the house itself was punishing us for our years of neglect. We had to spend four or five days on only the worst of the problems: wiping down the dust that lay as heavily as gauze over the woodwork; fishing the remains of dead rodents from the well; cleaning Mother’s room upstairs, where birds had torn up the tatami mats and used the straw to make nests in the alcove. To my surprise, Mother worked as hard as any of us, partly because we could afford only a cook and one adult maid, though we did also have a young girl named Etsuko. She was the daughter of the man on whose farm Mother and Auntie had been living. As if to remind me of how many years had passed since I first came to Kyoto as a nine-year-old girl, Etsuko herself was nine. She seemed to regard me with the same fear I’d once felt toward Hatsumomo, even though I smiled at her whenever I could. She stood as tall and thin as a broom, with long hair that trailed behind her as she scurried about. And her face was narrow like a grain of rice, so that I couldn’t help thinking that one day she too would be thrown into the pot just as I had been, and would fluff up white and delicious, to be consumed.