Trisha Ashley - The Magic of Christmas

‘Search me! He said he’d invited her, so perhaps he’s fallen prey to her fatal beauty.’

‘No, I’m sure he hasn’t, because he was flirting with you in the Adam and Eve scene, Lizzy, and he couldn’t take his eyes off you! He must have an ulterior motive for making up to Polly.’

‘That’s what Jasper says,’ I agreed grudgingly, ‘but I think he seems to be enjoying himself too much.’

The curtains closed on Noah’s Ark and the animals, and then reopened revealing a tetchy-looking Moses seated on a mountain.

‘Here are my commandments, writ on tablets of stone,’ said the Voice of God.

‘Could thee not find something lighter? I’m no spring chicken, that knows!’ grumbled Moses.

‘There are ten of them — see thee obey the rules,’ ordered God, while Moses hobbled about collecting them up in his teatowel headscarf.

‘I’ll give it me best shot, Lord, and I can’t say fairer than that.’

Ignoring this sally, God ran briskly down the list then demanded finally, ‘ Dost thou understand? ’

‘Yea, Lord,’ Moses said obediently, though with an evil look in his rheumy blue eyes. ‘I’m not deaf, tha knows! I’m going back down t’mountain as fast as me legs can carry me, and I’ll be straight on t’case. Idol worshipping and other ungodly goings-on will be reet out t’window.’

‘Good, good — for I see everything, you know, I am omnipresent,’ God added conversationally.

Then the mike squeaked and his voice suddenly boomed, ‘IN FACT, POLLY DARKE, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO LOOSENED THE WHEEL NUTS ON LIZZY PHARAMOND’S CAR, CAUSING THE DEATH OF HER HUSBAND.’

Everyone, including me and a flummoxed Moses, turned to stare at Polly Darke. Nick let go of her arm and stepped away, but I could see from his face that this was no surprise to him: God’s accusation had been prearranged.

She found herself the centre of a staring, whispering circle of shocked faces: even her friends were wide-eyed.

‘ Polly did?’ I exclaimed. ‘But—’

‘No, no, I didn’t!’ Polly yelped, looking from face to face for some sympathy. ‘Why on earth would I do that? I loved him!’

‘Because you expected Lizzy to drive the car, not Tom,’ Nick said clearly and coldly. ‘It was just one of a series of little spiteful accidents you arranged for her, because you were eaten up with jealousy.’

‘No! No, I didn’t! I haven’t—’

‘Good heavens! Surely she wouldn’t do something so evil?’ gasped Annie, shocked to her soft-centred core, and Gareth put his arm around her consolingly. I wished someone would put their arm around me : I was shaking even more now, and not from the cold.

I didn’t notice PC Perkins and her youthful associate until she was actually putting handcuffs on Polly, just like in a film, and saying clear enough for everyone to hear, ‘Polly Darke, you are under arrest …’ and proceeding to give her the official caution.

Polly stared around like a hunted animal, but there was no escape: I could see the flashing lights of police cars beyond the archway, and other officers. Then her eyes fixed on me.

‘It was her — her!’ she cried. ‘I’ve said so all along … you’ve no proof!’

‘It was not!’ boomed God into his microphone. ‘And there was a witness to your wrongdoing.’

‘That’s right,’ Caz agreed loudly from the shadows. ‘I seen her doing it.’

‘EVIL WOMAN, BEGONE!’ God added, with finality. I think the excitement of the moment had quite rushed to his head.

There was a buzz of excitement as she was escorted out and we all listened until the scrunch of gravel under tyres vanished into the distance.

I was struggling to take it all in, but when I saw Nick talking to Caz, I suddenly realised who must have hidden the wheel brace with Polly’s fingerprints on it among my gardening tools, and then tipped off the police!

Would Polly have had the strength, once Jasper had tightened the nuts, I wondered — then remembered what Ritch and Dora Tombs had said about her working out. And really, anyone can change a wheel with one of those cross-brace things, it’s not that difficult.

But it had been my car, me she wanted to hurt, not Tom. Not kill me — none of her little tricks had been intended to go quite that far; though I expect she would have looked on my death as a bonus.

And in the end Caz must have told Nick everything he knew, and so they had set this very public accounting up — as revenge? I didn’t suppose Polly could be charged with anything terribly serious.

The courtyard was still buzzing, but then Moses suddenly awoke as if from a trance, and banged his shepherd’s crook on the floor a couple of times to regain the audience’s attention.

Slowly they quietened and turned back to the stage.

‘If that’s all, Lord, I’ll be getting off, then,’ Moses said, back to the script.

‘Aye, go with my blessing upon you,’ God said, sounding exhausted, and invisible hands began to draw the canvas curtains across the front of the arched doorway.

‘A hot rum toddy, that’s what I need,’ Roly added, forgetting to switch off the microphone. ‘Delphine, my dear, you’ll join me, won’t you? There’s a short break before the next acts for refreshments, and I’m sure we all need them.’

Jojo and Mick picked up their instruments and began to play, and Ophelia, looking harassed and frightened, ran out of the house, fiddle in hand.

Nick forged his way through the crowd and handed me a plastic tumbler of hot toddy, which I took automatically and drained in one: I needed it.

‘Well,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘I don’t know how we’ll be able to follow that next year.’

I turned on him accusingly. ‘You knew that was going to happen — you, Caz and Uncle Roly set that up. How long have you known it was Polly who sabotaged the car?’

‘Not long at all. I thought that, at least, was an accident, until Caz told me what he’d seen. He’d been watching from the woods that day and saw Polly come out of Tom’s workshop and look at the car, then pick up the wheel brace (which Jasper must have left leaning against the wall, by the way) and start unscrewing the nuts — by sheer coincidence on the same wheel you’d changed earlier. Then she put the wheel brace back where she found it and left. Caz was going to go down and see what she’d been up to when the coast was clear, but Tom drove off in your car before he had the chance. So Caz wrapped the wheel brace in sacking and put it behind the freezer you let him use.’

‘Why? And why didn’t he say anything?’

He shrugged. ‘Well, you know Caz. He said he thought at first it was something to do with ARG and he didn’t want to get Ophelia into trouble. It was before he knew that Polly wasn’t a member of the group, just forcing Ophelia to target you.’

‘He’s not keen on the police anyway. But he confided in you .’

‘Yes, he finally told me the whole thing, because he was so angry that Polly was prepared to harm Ophelia, even when she was pregnant. I negotiated with the police and they’re going to forget that Ophelia was ever a member of ARG in return for Caz’s statement.’

He seemed to feel this was worthy of praise, for he paused expectantly.

‘Oh, well done, Nick!’ Annie, who had been listening admiringly, exclaimed. ‘You are clever!’

I gave her a withering look. ‘I think you might have let me in on what was happening, Nick!’

‘Why? You didn’t tell me anything! I found it all out for myself.’

‘Yes, but Lizzy was upset when you were flirting with Polly, Nick,’ Annie said traitorously.