Trisha Ashley - The Magic of Christmas

We don’t have lights because I’m convinced they will set the house on fire. I don’t know why, though perhaps distant memories of the way the bulbs used to pop when my father turned them on might have had something to do with it. I expect that’s where I get my uselessness with electricity from.

Later, while Jasper finished the decorating, including hanging a stocking for Ginny from the mantelpiece, along with his own, I baked thin, crispy star-shaped spice biscuits to hang on the tree with ribbon, the finishing touch.

While I did this, the sound of carols on the CD player, the mingled smell of spices and pine … the memory of the cold, crisp air outside — all these seasonal elements combined until the magic of Christmas, as always, had me in its thrall.

Unfortunately, next morning I found PC Perkins standing on my doorstep, her dark uniform lightly frosted with snowflakes like a rather odd Christmas card. She very politely suggested that we go and look in the outbuilding where I kept my gardening tools, because she’d received an anonymous tip-off.

She didn’t say a tip-off about what, but I said she was welcome to go and look, and I would follow her over once I’d put my wellies and anorak on.

When I got there, having waded through an audience of interested hens, she was standing staring up at the wall rack where my tools hung fairly neatly — and there, hooked among them, my blue steel cross-shaped wheel brace.

‘Is that the one you used to change your tyre, on the day your husband took your car?’ she enquired.

‘It certainly looks like it,’ I began, reaching up for it, but she put her hand on my arm to stop me.

‘Please don’t touch it, Mrs Pharamond.’

I let my hand fall to my side. ‘But … I’m sure it wasn’t there before! I’d have noticed it when I was hanging up the tools, because it doesn’t live there. I always kept it in the car.’

‘So when did you last see it?’

I frowned, trying to remember, though the events of the summer seemed an awfully long time ago now. ‘I’m pretty sure that when I’d finished changing the wheel, I slung it in the footwell behind the driver’s seat,’ I said slowly. ‘Didn’t I already give you a statement about that? But of course Jasper checked the wheel too, while I was in the cottage, and I can’t recall what he said he did with it. He’s gone up to the Hall, but I’ll ask him when he gets home, shall I?’

‘If you don’t mind,’ PC Perkins said, unfolding a large plastic envelope and inserting the wheel brace into it. ‘And I’ll just take this and check it for fingerprints, if you have no objection?’

‘Not at all,’ I said politely, ‘but you’ll only find mine and Jasper’s, won’t you?’

‘Just routine. We like to tie up all the loose ends,’ she said, giving me that ‘I’ll get you yet, you murderess’ smile. After such a long silence, I’d convinced myself that I’d only imagined the police were suspicious of me, but clearly I’d been quite right all along!

When he came in, Jasper said he thought he might just have propped the wheel brace up against the barn wall when he’d finished tightening the nuts, but he couldn’t be sure. He could equally well have tossed it into the back of the car, where it usually lived.

‘But whichever way, someone must have put it with the gardening tools recently and then told the police,’ I said, puzzled, ‘because I’d definitely have noticed it if it had been there all this time, since I’m constantly taking tools out and putting them back — and it was hung on top of my favourite spade. But what’s the point, when finding it won’t tell the police anything they didn’t already know?’

‘I wouldn’t worry about it, Mum. I expect she really meant it, about tying up loose ends. And you are vague sometimes, so you might have moved it to get at the spade, and not noticed it was there.’

‘I’m not that vague. And who tipped them off about it, and why?’

‘It’s a mystery, but not one that’s important. I’d forget it,’ he advised. ‘Or you could tell Uncle Nick about it and see what he thinks.’

‘No, thanks,’ I said crisply. ‘He’d probably just accuse me of losing my marbles, like you.’

Jasper had now become even more antagonistic towards poor Ritch, if that were possible, and warned me that if he became his stepfather he would leave home! I assured him that even if I had been tempted to remarry, which was the last thing on my mind, I would certainly not replace one chronic philanderer with another.

I expected it was all because he overheard Ritch jokingly asking me to marry him again, when he caught us having a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe I’d suspended from the drying rack. (I hang mistletoe up every year, but that was the first time I’d struck lucky.)

Ritch and I had already exchanged presents. He gave me a delightful little sparkly crystal snowman brooch and I gave him a box of home-made Turkish Delight (from the postcard recipe sent to me by Nick) and a large rawhide bone for poor old Flo, about to be immured in kennels while her master flew off to stay with friends in the Caribbean over Christmas.

I might have felt compelled to offer to have Flo myself if it hadn’t been for Ginny: one snap of Flo’s powerful jaws and Ginny would be only a lingering memory. However, Flo was booked into the local luxury Dogtel, with heated beds and her own run, so I didn’t suppose she’d find it too traumatic.

Jasper didn’t, however, extend his antagonism towards all my male visitors, even on one occasion helpfully pointing out the mistletoe to Nick before he went out, though luckily I don’t think he heard him.

But at least Nick now seemed to have finally accepted that I simply wanted to forget what happened on the night of the bonfire and continue as we were before, so we were back on our old, slightly argumentative but fairly amicable terms, and he was helping me with recipes for Just Desserts .

He began bringing down bundles of his old notebooks for me to copy things out of, though his idea of what was suitable and what wasn’t didn’t exactly coincide with mine.

It was no wonder I was putting on weight, because I’d adjusted my chocolate intake to compensate for … well, I didn’t really know what for, but it was very comforting. Have you ever tried hot chocolate custard?

Jasper and I went up to the Hall for Sunday lunch and Roly had the newspaper magazine with the Christmas photoshoot article in it. And actually, it all looked really magical, lush and quite swish, in a slightly medieval sort of way, not fake at all.

Mimi said she thought Juno looked just like Edith Sitwell, but luckily Juno mixed her up with Edith Cavell and was vaguely flattered, saying she knew she was a heroine putting up with Mimi but that might be going a bit too far.

I’d taken up a box of the spice biscuits, all ready threaded with ribbon for hanging, and we decorated their big Christmas tree in the hallway after lunch, with Nick leaning over the banister to place a porcelain-faced angel on the very top.

I was convinced that their Christmas tree lights were made of Bakelite! I only hoped they’d had an electrician check them in the last fifty years.

I was so glad I’d got a Land Rover, because I used to be very nervous about driving on snowy roads and now I wasn’t in the least. We had another light snowfall on top of the last lot, which had half-thawed on the roads and then refrozen, making it pretty treacherous, but I made it easily down to the village hall to help with the hampers.

Each recipient had ticked boxes on a form giving their likes, dislikes and preferences (Marian was nothing if not organised) so we just had to select from the list and assemble each box, which were the cardboard sort printed with a green holly pattern, with pop-up handles.