Sue Townsend - The Woman who Went to Bed for a Year

Over breakfast in the 19705 it had been Ruby’s pleasure to teach her daughter good manners. On one such occasion Ruby had taught her that, should there be a conversational lull, it was Eva’s duty to fill it.

Eva was an earnest girl at twelve and anxious to do the right thing. Once, when walking back from the athletics track in the extensive school grounds, she had caught up with Miss Brawn as their steps became synchronised. Eva had not known whether it was right to stay synchronised, fall back or run ahead. She snatched a quick glance at Miss Brawn’s face. She looked unbearably sad.

Eva blurted out, ‘What are you cooking for Sunday dinner?’

Miss Brawn looked startled, but said, ‘I thought a leg of lamb-’

‘And will you make a mint sauce?’ asked Eva, politely.

‘Not make, buy!’ said Miss Brawn.

There was a long silence, which Eva filled with, ‘Do you have roast potatoes or mash?’

Miss Brawn sighed and said, ‘Both!’ Then she continued, ‘Didn’t your parents teach you that it is bad manners to ask so many personal questions?’

‘No,’ said Eva, ‘they didn’t.’

Miss Brawn looked Eva full in the face and said, ‘You should only speak when you have something worth saying. Idiotic questions about my plans for Sunday lunch are not appropriate.’.

Eva had thought to herself, ‘I’ll keep my mouth shut, and I’ll think my own thoughts.’

And after all those years the grown-up Eva could still smell the cut grass, see the sunlight on the old red brick of the school building, and feel the thud of humiliation in her heart as she ran from Miss Brawn’s side, to find somewhere to hide until her cheeks had stopped burning.

Eva finished her exercises and lay on the bed on top of the duvet. She could not stop thinking about food. Her principal feeder, Ruby, had a very lackadaisical attitude towards time, and the rota kept getting messed up because Ruby was increasingly forgetful, and sometimes forgot Eva’s name.

Stanley opened the front door of Eva’s house, saying, ‘How do you do?’ to the nurse and the constable. He shook their hands, led them into the kitchen, and said, ‘I need to call on your expertise.’

As he wandered around the kitchen making tea, he said, ‘I’m afraid Eva’s condition has deteriorated. She managed to use her considerable charm on Peter, our mutual window cleaner, and subsequently she has been barricaded into her bedroom, with only a slit in the door that we on the other side can peer through and, in theory, pass her a plate of food.’

As soon as Stanley said the word ‘barricaded’, PC Hawk saw the scene in his head. He would provide the intelligence, call for a Special Support Unit, and would be present when Eva’s door was shattered with a metal battering ram.

Nurse Spears saw herself at a medical tribunal, trying to justify her neglect of a bedridden patient. She would plead overwork, of course. And it was true – there were only so many diabetic foot ulcers, injections and wound dressings she could fit into one day. She said, When I get back to the surgery, I will inform her doctors. We may be talking a mental health intervention and admission to a unit.’

Stanley lied, quickly, ‘No, she isn’t insane. She’s entirely rational. I spoke to her this morning and made her a boiled egg with white bread soldiers. She looked very happy, I thought.’

Nurse Spears and PC Hawk exchanged a look which said, Who cares what civilians think? It’s we professionals who make the decisions.’

Leaving their tea on the table, the three of them went up to Eva’s barricaded room.

Stanley went up to the door and said, ‘You’ve got visitors, Eva. Nurse Spears and Constable Hawk.’

There was no reply.

‘Perhaps she’s sleeping,’ he suggested.

‘Look here,’ asserted Nurse Spears, ‘my time is precious.’ She shouted, ‘Mrs Beaver, I want to talk to you!’

Eva was working through songs from the musicals in her head. She sang ‘Being Alive’ from Company throughout Nurse Spears’ monologue about insane people she had cured.

Titania put her lips to the slot in the barricaded door and said, ‘Eva, I need to talk to you.’

Eva groaned, ‘Please, Titania, I’m not having an in-depth conversation about your relationship with my ex-husband.’

‘It’s about Brian,’ said Titania.

‘It’s always about Brian.’

‘Look, can you come to the door?’

‘No. I can’t get out of bed.’

Titania pleaded, ‘Please, Eva, use the White Pathway.’

‘I can only use it for one purpose.’

Eva had no strength left. She had felt it leaking from her for some days. She could hardly lift her arms and legs, and when she attempted to move her head off the pillows she could only manage a few seconds before dropping it back with relief.

Titania said, ‘We could have been good friends.’

‘I’m not good at friendship.’

Titania peered through the slot and thought she could see a small shining light and, below it, a prone white figure. She said, ‘I came to say how sorry I am for those eight years of lies. I’m here to ask your forgiveness.’

Eva said, ‘Of course I forgive you. I forgive everybody everything. I even forgive myself.’

Titania had been surprised at the awful state of the house. It appeared that most of the machines had broken down. Ominous cracks had appeared in the kitchen walls. The drains were stinking.

Titania said, ‘Look, let me take this door down, Eva. I want to talk to you face to face.’

‘I’m sorry, Titania, but I’m going to sleep now’

Eva could tell from the lack of light on the wall that it was dark outside. She was hungry, but it was her own rule now that she would not ask for food. If people wanted to feed her, they would come.

When Titania went downstairs, she found Ruby making a pile of sandwiches. Titania was shocked at how much Ruby had aged.

Ruby apologised to the two doctors and the nurse for the unswept dead leaves in the front porch. ‘As soon as I sweep ‘em up, others blow in.’

‘It is the nature of things,’ said Dr Lumbogo. When they had congregated at the bottom of the stairs, Ruby said, ‘I can’t remember the last time she ate anything hot. I chuck food in to her.’

Nurse Spears said, ‘You make it sound like the lion house at the zoo.’

Ruby said, ‘My memory lets me down now and again. And anyway, I can’t get up the stairs easy now I’m still waiting for that new hip!’

She looked at Dr Lumbogo, who said, ‘You are on the list, Mrs Brown-Bird.’

Dr Bridges asked, ‘Do we know if she’s likely to harm herself or others?’

Ruby said, ‘I’ve only seen her violent once, and that was at a woman dragging a kiddy along on its knees.’

Nurse Spears said, ‘There has been an aggressive undercurrent in all my dealings with Mrs Beaver.’

‘But no overt aggression?’ queried Dr Bridges. Nurse Spears said, ‘I wouldn’t turn my back if I was alone with her.’

They climbed the stairs and stood around outside.

Eva’s door. Eva was huddled in a corner of the room against the bedhead and the outside wall. She hadn’t washed for days and she could smell an earthy pungent odour that was not unpleasant to her.

She was so hungry that it felt as if her flesh were melting away. She lifted her white nightgown and felt her ribs – she could have played a melancholy tune on them. There was food next to the door. Local people had posted sandwiches, fruit, biscuits and cakes, but she wouldn’t get out of bed to pick them up. In desperation, Ruby had thrown apples, oranges, plums and pears, hoping to hit the bed.

When Eva was asked who the Prime Minister was, she replied, ‘Does it really matter?’