Philip Dick - Humpty Dumpty in Oakland

“Nothing at all,” he agreed.

“Whee,” she said, her eyes glowing.

“Where’s your husband?” he said.

“Oh him,” she said. “He gone. He a contractor. Up in Shasta County seeing about a important public building. He be back in another week. I going to a party.” Her voice lilted and rose. “Goodbye,” she said, reopening the car door. “I got to scoot. I just see you working away and I stop to show off. Don’t get a chance every day.”

“You look fine,” he said.

She said, “Mr. Miller, you sound so bad. Where all your usual jokes and ironic style of humor?”

He shrugged.

“No more,” Mrs. Lane said, regarding him. “Is that it? I hear about Mr. Fergesson. Now where you go? What you do?”

“I’m looking for my wife,” he said.

“She gone, too? Everybody gone? Nobody want you, it seem. No wife, no friend, no job. You in a bad way. How did you get that way, Mr. Miller? Life perplexing in certain regards. One day you have all those things, the next day not. And what you done in between? Far as I can see, you not done nothing at all. Sometime it make you ponder if those church people not right. But I, myself, I never go to church and believe nothing. I already had that, and it just the same as all the rest. I think you and I both be crazy to go back to that, as much as we wish we could, like other folk.”

He nodded.

“What in the package?” she said.

He did not know what she meant. He looked around.

“In your hand,” she said.

He showed her.

“Sand,” she said, looking into it as he held it open. “You picking up sand like a little boy.” She took the sack of sand away from him and set it down by one of the parked cars. “That all you get out of this? At your age, thirty-something years? No wonder you got nothing joking to say. And here I going out to my party. I going to get in and drive off leaving you. And I even take your sack of sand away from you. I a bad woman if I do that. I really bad; I see myself in my jangly skin laughing out. My mean jangly skin.”

“That’s okay,” he said. “I wasn’t getting anywhere. Forget it.”

“You not begrudge me my party,” she said. “I know that, Mr. Miller.” After a moment she reached out and took hold of his wrist. “I think I take you with me,” she said.

“Where to?” he said.

“Not to no old party. I take you home with me.” She pulled him, and he went along, across the sidewalk to the car. Opening the car door, she sat him down on the seat and then she went around to the other side and got in behind the wheel. “I drive,” she said to him, “because I know the way.” She started the motor.

He reached out and put his arms around her.

“Yes,” she said, “I really look good tonight. I don’t think I look this good ever in fifteen years.” She drew him against her, holding him against her shoulder and patting him. Then she put the car in gear and drove, holding the wheel with her left hand. “It a good thing I got automatic transmission on this,” she said, “or long before now I run into somebody while changing gear.”

Soon they were traveling through streets he had never seen before. Streets that he did not know.

“I never hit anybody yet,” Mrs. Lane said.

Title: Humpty Dumpty in Oakland

Authors: Philip K. Dick

Year: 2007-10-00

ISBN-10: 0-765-31690-0

ISBN-13: 978-0-765-31690-5

Publisher: Tor

Price: $24.95

Pages: 252

Binding: hc

Type: NOVEL

Title Reference: Humpty Dumpty in Oakland

Cover: George Diebold

Notes:

• “First U.S. Edition: October 2007”

• First printing, full number line 0987654321

• Cover photo credited to Diebold on the inside rear flap

• $28.95 in Canada

• OCLC 132585480

• LCCN: 2007020866