Sara Shepard - Perfect

Maya . Whenever Emily shut her eyes, she saw Maya’s angry face in the greenhouse. Emily’s cell phone had been quiet all day. Part of her wanted Maya to call, to try to get Emily back. And then of course, part of her didn’t. She tried to look at the positives—now that her parents saw that she was really making a commitment to Tree Tops, they had been kinder to her. At Saturday swim practice, Coach Lauren had told her that the U of A swim coach still wanted to meet with her. All the swim team boys were still hitting on her and inviting Emily to hot-tub parties, but it was better than them making fun of her. And as they were driving home from practice, Carolyn had said, “I like this CD,” when Emily slid some old No Doubt into the player. It was a start.

Emily stared at the ice rink. After The Jenna Thing, she and Ali used to come here practically every weekend, and nothing about the place had changed since then. There were still the same blue benches that everyone sat on to lace up their boots, the machine that dispensed hot chocolate that tasted like aspirin, the giant plastic polar bear that greeted everyone at the main entrance. The whole thing was so eerily nostalgic, Emily almost expected to see Ali out on the ice practicing her backward crossovers. The rink was practically empty tonight, though—there were clusters of kids, but no one Emily’s age. Most likely, they were all at Mona’s party—in a parallel world, Emily would have been there too.

“Becka?”

Emily and Becka looked up. A tall girl with short dark curly hair, a button nose, and hazel eyes stared at them. She had on a pink A-line dress, white cable-knit tights, a delicate pearl bracelet, and hot pink lip gloss. A pair of white ice skates with rainbow laces dangled from her wrists.

“Wendy!” Becka cried, standing up. She went to hug Wendy but then seemed to correct herself and stood back. “You’re…you’re here!”

Wendy had a big smile on her face. “Wow, Becks. You look…great.”

Becka smiled sheepishly. “So do you.” She inspected Wendy almost in disbelief, as if Wendy had been resurrected from the dead. “You cut your hair.”

Wendy touched it self-consciously. “Is it too short?”

“No!” Becka said quickly. “It’s really cute.”

Both of them kept smiling and giggling. Emily coughed, and Becka looked over. “Oh! This is Emily. My new Tree Tops friend.”

Emily shook Wendy’s hand. Wendy’s short fingernails were painted seashell pink, and there was a Pokémon appliqué on her thumb.

Wendy sat down and started lacing up her skates. “Do you guys skate a lot?” Emily asked. “You both have your own skates.”

“We used to,” Wendy said, glancing at Becka. “We took lessons together. Well…sort of.”

Becka giggled and Emily glanced at her, confused. “What?”

“Nothing,” Becka answered. “Just…remember the skate rental room, Wendy?”

“Oh my God.” Wendy clapped a hand over her mouth.

“The look on that guy’s face!”

Oh- kaaay . Emily coughed again, and Becka immediately stopped laughing, as if she realized where she was—or, perhaps, who she was.

When Wendy finished lacing up, they all stepped onto the rink. Wendy and Becka immediately twirled around and began skating backward. Emily, who only knew how to skate forward in a somewhat jerky fashion, felt bumbling and oafish next to them.

No one said anything for a while. Emily listened to the slicing noises their skates made in the ice. “So, are you still seeing Jeremy?” Wendy asked Becka.

Becka chewed on the end of her wool mitten. “Not really.”

“Who’s Jeremy?” Emily asked, skirting around a blond girl in a Brownie uniform.

“A guy I met at Tree Tops,” Becka answered. She glanced at Wendy uncomfortably. “We went out for a month or two. It didn’t really work out.”

Wendy shrugged and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I was going out with a girl from history class, but it didn’t go anywhere either. And I have a blind date next week, but I’m not sure if I’ll go. Apparently she’s into hip-hop.” She wrinkled her nose.

Emily suddenly realized that Wendy had said she . Before she could ask, Becka cleared her throat. Her jaw was tense. “I might go on a blind date, too,” she said, louder than usual. “With another boy from Tree Tops.”

“Well, good luck with that,” Wendy said stiffly, spinning to skate forward again. Only, she didn’t take her eyes off Becka, and Becka didn’t take her eyes off Wendy. Becka skated up next to Wendy, it seemed like she purposefully bumped hands.

The lights dimmed. A disco ball descended from the ceiling and colored lights swirled around the rink. Everyone except for a few couples tottered off the ice. “Couples skate,” said an Isaac Hayes imposter over the loudspeaker. “Grab the one you love.”

The three of them collapsed on a nearby bench as Unchained Melody belted out of the speakers. Ali had once remarked that she was tired of sitting out of couples skate. “Why don’t we just skate together, Em?” she suggested, offering Emily her hand. Emily would never forget what it felt like to wrap her arms around Ali. To smell the sweet, Granny Smith apple scent of Ali’s neck. To squeeze Ali’s hands when Ali lost her balance, to accidentally brush her arm against Ali’s bare skin.

Emily wondered if she’d remember that event differently next week. Would Tree Tops wipe those feelings from her mind, the way the Zamboni machine smoothed away all the nicks and skate-marks from the ice?

“I’ll be back,” Emily murmured, stumbling clumsily on the blades of her skates to the bathroom. Inside, she ran her hands under scalding hot water and stared at herself in the streaky mirror. Doing Tree Tops was the right decision, she told her reflection. It was the only decision. After Tree Tops, she would probably date boys just like Becka did. Right?

When she walked back to the rink, she noticed that Becka and Wendy had left the bench. Emily plopped down, figuring they’d gone to get a snack, and stared at the darkened rink. She saw couples with their hands intertwined. Others were attempting to kiss while skating. One couple hadn’t even made it to the ice—they were going at it by one of the entrances. The girl plunged her hands into the guy’s curly dark hair.

The slow song abruptly ended and the fluorescent lights snapped back on. Emily’s eyes widened at the couple by the door. The girl wore a familiar lace headband. Both were wearing white ice skates. The guy’s had rainbow laces. And…he was in a pink A-line dress.

Becka and Wendy saw Emily at the same time. Becka’s mouth went round, and Wendy looked away. Emily could feel herself shaking.

Becka walked over and stood next to Emily. She exhaled a puff of frosty air. “I guess I should explain, huh?”

The ice smelled cold, like snow. Someone had left a single, child-size red mitten on the next bench over. On the rink, a child swooped by and cried, “I’m an airplane!” Emily stared at Becka. Her chest felt tight.

“I thought Tree Tops worked,” Emily said quietly.

Becka ran her hands through her long hair. “I thought it did, too. But after seeing Wendy…well, I guess you got the picture.” She pulled her Fair Isle sweater’s cuffs down over her hands. “Maybe you can’t really change.”

A hot feeling spread in Emily’s stomach. Thinking that Tree Tops could change something so fundamental about her had scared her. It seemed so against the principles of…of being human, maybe. But it couldn’t. Maya and Becka were right—you couldn’t change who you were.

Maya . Emily clapped her hand over her mouth. She needed to talk to Maya, right now. “Um, Becka,” she said quietly. “Can I ask you a favor?”