Pearl Buck - The Eternal Wonder

She was entirely serious, as he could see. And he might have thought of her sexually, with that lovely face and the long narrow hands she used with unconscious grace, except that somehow Lady Mary had helped him to put sex in its place. She had given him nothing but sex and in so doing she had made it extraneous, having nothing to do with anything else in life, an act merely physical. She had surfeited him until he knew that sex was not enough for him. Healthy male that he was, he knew the limitations of sex. There were many other aspects of life for the human animal, and these he must explore. His curiosities were far beyond sex, and in this Lady Mary had served him well. He did not hate her but he doubted that he would ever return to her or indeed ever see her again. Meanwhile here, facing him, was a new and beautiful female creature, one for whom he had not sought but had found as one accidentally finds a jewel.

“And you,” she was saying. “Tell me who you are and truly why you are here. It seems to me that I can like you as a friend, and I don’t find many.”

How could he explain himself to her? And yet he wished very much to be able to do so. It was the first time in his life that he really wished to explain himself to someone else. For that matter, he had never tried to explain himself even to himself. Driven by question and wonder and the insatiable hunger to know everything, he had omitted explanations even to himself!

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said slowly. “I have not had time to think much about myself. Wherever I have been—at least until now, I have been mostly alone. The others were always much bigger—much older.” He paused to consider himself in the past. “Older in years, that is,” he amended. “I’ve always been too old for myself.”

She looked at him thoughtfully. “Then you have an old soul. We know about such things in my father’s country. Would you like to meet him? I think he would like you. Usually he doesn’t like young men—especially Americans.”

“Then why me?”

“You are different from the others. You’ve said so yourself—in effect. Even your English isn’t American.”

He thought again of the many months he had spent with Lady Mary. Had she indeed left even the mark of her language upon his tongue? Yet why should he speak of her to this girl? He did not want even to think of Lady Mary.

“I would like very much to meet your father,” he said.

“Then let us go,” she said. “He will be wondering where I am. When he sees you he will understand. At least he will forget to ask me why I am late!”

THE HOUSE WAS ENORMOUS. IT was on the outskirts of Paris and on the borders of a wood, a man-made forest, as he could see, so orderly the trees stood, with shrubbery massed at their feet.

“My father loves his gardens,” she said. “Not flowers—only trees and rocks and water—flowers are for pots and vases in the house. He’s very old-fashioned—formal and all that. You’ll see when you meet him. Yet he’s very good with people—not everyone, of course, but with special people.”

She circled the drive smartly in her small Mercedes and drew up in front of the house. A wide walk of marble led to the front door, which opened, it seemed, automatically until he saw the slender black-robed figure of a Chinese manservant.

“Father brought his own servants to Paris,” she said. “Of course, that was before I was born. Their children have grown up here and some of them still serve us in the house. Others of them help my father in the business. He doesn’t trust white people.”

“Though your mother is American?”

“I didn’t tell you,” she said almost casually. “She left us when I was six. She went away with an American—a very rich man’s son, younger than she. He divorced her later—several years later—and she asked my father to take her back. He refused.”

“And you?” he asked.

Against his will he asked, for what right had he to inquire into her personal life? But the old insistent demand to know, to know everything about life and people, impelled him. The demand was not mere curiosity. It was a necessity to follow action through reaction to final resolution. He had to know the end of the story.

“I have not seen her since she left. I have not forgiven her, I suppose, for leaving us, and my father has provided all I have ever needed and I am entirely loyal to him. It is as though she were dead, to me, and indeed she could be for all I know,” she said.

They were at the top of the several steps leading to the marble terrace before the great door, now open and waiting to receive them. She paused and they stood looking out over the formal gardens through which they had passed.

“And?” he asked remorselessly.

“My father said I might go to her if I wished, but if I went I must know I could never see him again. So I stayed.”

“Because?”

“I’ve always known I was more Chinese than anything else—because I want to be, I suppose. Come—let’s go in!”

They entered a wide hall facing a great stairway that divided at its upper half into left and right. Now he saw a tall, slender man in a long Chinese robe of silver-gray satin descending from the right, to the main stairway.

“Stephanie!” he said, and then followed words in Chinese.

He listened to the unknown language, a mellifluous flow of vowels they seemed, and he looked at the handsome, silver-haired Chinese gentleman who spoke them and noticed his strong, beautiful hands. Then it occurred to him that he now heard her name, and at the same instant she turned to him, laughing.

“I want to introduce you to my father—and I don’t know your name!”

“And I have heard yours for the first time!” he said, laughing. Then he turned to the father.

“Sir, I am Randolph Colfax—Rann, for short. I must admit to being an American, for your daughter says you don’t like us, but my grandfather was in China in his youth, and he has taught me to admire your people—and so your daughter and I became acquainted today, and she told me about you and was so kind as to—” Here he turned helplessly to her. “How did you?”

“I feel he is different, somehow, Father.”

French was the language again, and the father answered in that tongue, a stilted accented French.

“And you asked him, not even knowing his name?”

“He doesn’t know mine, either,” she retorted, and began laughing again as she turned to him. “How stupid I am and you are so polite, asking nothing! I am Stephanie Kung. You will ask why Stephanie instead of Michelle or some such name, but as I told you I was supposed to be a boy, who was to be named Stephen.”

“Quiet!” her father commanded.

She stopped, looked at her father, and then went on. “Well, as you see, I disappointed my father and he punished me with this long name!”

“Be silent, my little one! And why are we standing here in the hall instead of proceeding into the library? Besides, it grows late. It will be better if we prepare ourselves for dinner. You, sir, will you spend the night with us?”

“Oh, yes—Rann Colfax, is it? Do stay the night! We will have so much good talk together, the three of us!”

He was bewitched, he was enchanted, he felt as though he were being led into another country—one unknown and perhaps long sought.

“It is too good to be true,” he said. “And of course I will stay, at least for dinner. But I have nothing with me—no change of clothes. I shall have to go back to the hotel to get my things.”

“That is easily mended for now,” Mr. Kung said. “I have clothes—suits I wear to business—we are not too different in height, or weight. I can guess we can enjoy tonight with no thought to details and then tomorrow my car can take you to pick up your bags.”