Stanley Elkin - A Bad Man

“Gradually he came to the attention of the higher-ups, the big boys, and whenever they were in his city they made it a point to look him up. Always they came away impressed and delighted.

“When the lad had been with the company five years a job opened up in the home office that they thought he might do well in. It wasn’t the biggest job, but it was a good one, and for the right man it had a future that didn’t quit. When they told him he could have it he didn’t hesitate a minute, and the company liked that too. This was a difficult post, very sensitive, and some of the men they had put into the spot in the past, though they looked terrific on paper, just hadn’t worked out and had jeopardized their careers with the firm. Most fellows would have thought twice about making the shift. The money was about the same, and it was more expensive to live in the town where the home office was situated. But the guy took it, and just as the big shots expected, he did very well. In fact he was the best man they’d ever had in that particular slot.

“It soon became apparent, however, that if anything he was too big for the job. Oh, he didn’t complain, you understand. He wasn’t arrogant and didn’t even seem particularly aware of the sensation he was making in the organization, but the men at the top saw that he was being wasted, and when a vacancy opened up on the board of directors of this internationally famous company, they immediately thought that the young man would be a perfect choice to fill it. They discussed this among themselves and decided to propose him formally as a candidate.

“The next day the chairman of the board called him into his office and told him about it, and just as the man had anticipated, the candidate wasn’t flustered at all, though it was perfectly clear he was grateful. There wasn’t anything snotty about it. ‘One last thing,’ the chairman told him before he let him go, ‘the company has an official policy for a prospect at your level. We need the names of four top men not connected with our organization whom we can write to request letters about you. It’s just a formality, of course. The board never announces a man’s candidacy to him unless they mean to confirm. Nothing ever goes wrong when you get this far, but it’s standard operating procedure, so if you’ll give me the four names I’ll see that letters are gotten out at once, and you’ll be confirmed at our next meeting. You’re a shoo-in.’

“Well, to the chairman’s astonishment the candidate seemed a little flustered at this, and the chairman asked him what was wrong.

“‘Nothing,’ the guy said. ‘What sort of letters?’

“The chairman saw that the young man didn’t understand and tried to reassure him. ‘Just the usual stuff,’ he told him. ‘About your character, that you’re honest, that you’re not likely to embezzle our funds or get us into trouble with the SEC. A little about your personality. You know.’

“He saw that the fellow still had some misgivings, and he began to get suspicious, but just then he realized what it was probably all about and he broke into a big, friendly smile. ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘It’s because you’re so young and don’t yet feel you know four top executives well enough to ask them to write letters for you. That’s your problem, isn’t it?’

“‘Well—’ the young man said.

“‘Look,’ the chairman told him, ‘they don’t have to be the biggest men in the country. You’ve been with the firm seven years. You’ve had important posts. When you were out West and handled that government thing for us, didn’t you have to work with major men in smaller companies we subcontracted to?’

“The shoo-in nodded and the chairman said well then, he could use those names. ‘Come on,’ he said, ‘let’s get this over with. You sit down here at my desk and write me four names of people we can get in touch with. You don’t even have to know their addresses. My secretary will look them up.’ With that the chairman rose, and the shoo-in sat down behind the desk and quickly wrote out four names. He left the list on the blotter under a paperweight and got up to go. ‘There,’ the chairman said, ‘now that’s done we’ll be approving your candidacy in no time.’

“The shoo-in left the office, and the chairman read the list. What was his surprise when he saw that the young man had written down not the names of the presidents of small organizations, but of men at the head of the biggest companies in America , companies that dwarfed even the chairman’s own! Four key captains of industry, man in the vanguard of corporate America! And not just their names, but their Grosse Pointe and Virginia-hunt-country addresses as well! He couldn’t leave this to his secretary, and he decided instead to take up his own stationery and write out the notes himself in longhand and pen.

“The responses came back quickly, and the chairman had them reproduced and took them with him to the next board meeting. He told board members of his interview with the shoo-in and about how nervous the young man had seemed when he had asked for the names. ‘But what puzzles me,’ he said, ‘is what could have been in the fellow’s mind. Here, look, you can see for yourselves. The letters are marvelous.’ And with that he distributed copies of the letters all around the big mahogany table.

“Just as the chairman’s own had been, these letters too were handwritten by the executives and owners of the companies themselves, and frankly it was a little while before many of the men could make sense of the contents, so interested were they in the turns of phrase and styles and patterns of thinking revealed in the letters. Each was a rare industrial document. One member who had been with the organization since its beginning and was regarded by the others as the most solid and conservative among them grew so excited he had to hold up a letter and wave it. ‘Here,’ he said, ‘this one. You know I’ve only seen his signature before on the product. Why, it’s just like the stylized signature on the trademark!’

“Then the chairman gave them time to assimilate the contents and suggested a vote of confirmation, saying that he had left the shoo-in in his office and that if they finished their business quickly, they could all enjoy a celebration lunch together before some of them had to catch their jets.

“At once the vice-president offered a motion to confirm, and before his motion could even be repeated by the chairman two voices were heard. The chairman called on the man furthest from him, the organization’s chief counsel, a man famous for his careful evaluations, expecting that he wanted to second the motion, and by thus giving his blessing, preclude any merely routine discussion. When the man spoke, however, he surprised them all. ‘I don’t know,’ he began. ‘Perhaps I’m being arbitrary, but I think we ought to take a closer look at these letters.’

“‘What do you mean?’ the chairman demanded. ‘The letters are genuine. Are you making the monstrous suggestion that they’ve been forged?’

“‘Not at all, not at all,’ the lawyer said. ‘Of course they’re legitimate. I’m not suggesting otherwise. All I mean is that we ought to examine the substance. This one, for example.’ He held up a letter. ‘This one says — let’s see if I can find it; yes, here it is — this one says that what the writer is chiefly struck by is the candidate’s good humor, that he’s had him out to the farm and found him “convivial, gay, charming, an indefatigable social catalyst whose jokes and anecdotes enlighten as well as entertain.” He mentions “his dancing, his tennis, his universal good manners and courtly display of wit to the least of the other guests and to the staff,” as well as to himself.’