Stanley Elkin - Criers & Kibitzers, Kibitzers & Criers

“Sure,” Greenspahn said. “That’s right, Officer.” The cop crossed the street and finished writing the ticket. Greenspahn looked after him angrily, watching the gun swinging in the holster at his hip, the sun flashing brightly on the shiny handcuffs. Podler , he thought, afraid for his lousy nickels. There’ll be an extra parking space sooner than he thinks.

He walked toward his store. He could have parked by his own place but out of habit he left his car in front of a rival grocer’s. It was an old and senseless spite. Tomorrow he would change. What difference did it make, one less parking space? Why should he walk?

He felt bloated, heavy. The bowels, he thought. I got to move them soon or I’ll bust. He looked at the street vacantly, feeling none of the old excitement. What did he come back for, he wondered suddenly, sadly. He missed Harold. Oh my God. Poor Harold, he thought. I’ll never see him again. I’ll never see my son again. He was choking, a big pale man beating his fist against his chest in grief. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose. That was the way it was, he thought. He would go along flat and empty and dull, and all of a sudden he would dissolve in a heavy, choking grief. The street was no place for him. His wife was crazy, he thought, swiftly angry. “Be busy. Be busy,” she said. What was he, a kid, that because he was making up somebody’s lousy order everything would fly out of his mind? The bottom dropped out of his life and he was supposed to go along as though nothing had happened. His wife and the cop, they had the same psychology. Like in the movies after the horse kicks your head in you’re supposed to get up and ride him so he can throw you off and finish the job. If he could get a buyer he would sell, and that was the truth.

Mechanically he looked into the windows he passed. The displays seemed foolish to him now, petty. He resented the wooden wedding cakes, the hollow watches. The manikins were grotesque, giant dolls. Toys, he thought bitterly. Toys. That he used to enjoy the displays himself, had even taken a peculiar pleasure in the complicated tiers of cans, in the amazing pyramids of apples and oranges in his own window, seemed incredible to him. He remembered he had liked to look at the little living rooms in the window of the furniture store, the wax models sitting on the couches offering each other tea. He used to look at the expensive furniture and think, Merchandise . The word had sounded rich to him, and mysterious. He used to think of camels on a desert, their bellies slung with heavy ropes. On their backs they carried merchandise . What did it mean, any of it? Nothing. It meant nothing.

He was conscious of someone watching him.

“Hello, Jake.”

It was Margolis from the television shop.

“Hello, Margolis. How are you?”

“Business is terrible. You picked a hell of a time to come back.”

A man’s son dies and Margolis says business is terrible. Margolis, he thought, jerk, son of a bitch.

“You can’t close up a minute. You don’t know when somebody might come in. I didn’t take coffee since you left,” Margolis said.

“You had it rough, Margolis. You should have said something, I would have sent some over.”

Margolis smiled helplessly, remembering the death of Greenspahn’s son.

“It’s okay, Margolis.” He felt his anger tug at him again. It was something he would have to watch, a new thing with him but already familiar, easily released, like something on springs.

“Jake,” Margolis whined.

“Not now, Margolis,” he said angrily. He had to get away from him. He was like a little kid, Greenspahn thought. His face was puffy, swollen, like a kid about to cry. He looked so meek. He should be holding a hat in his hand. He couldn’t stand to look at him. He was afraid Margolis was going to make a speech. He didn’t want to hear it. What did he need a speech? His son was in the ground. Under all that earth. Under all that dirt. In a metal box. Airtight, the funeral director told him. Oh my God, airtight. Vacuum-sealed . Like a can of coffee. His son was in the ground and on the street the models in the windows had on next season’s dresses. He would hit Margolis in his face if he said one word.

Margolis looked at him and nodded sadly, turning his palms out as if to say, “I know. I know.” Margolis continued to look at him and Greenspahn thought, He’s taking into account, that’s what he’s doing. He’s taking into account the fact that my son has died. He’s figuring it in and making apologies for me, making an allowance, like he was doing an estimate in his head what to charge a customer.

“I got to go, Margolis.”

“Sure, me too,” Margolis said, relieved. “I’ll see you, Jake. The man from R.C.A. is around back with a shipment. What do I need it?”

Greenspahn walked to the end of the block and crossed the street. He looked down the side street and saw the shul where that evening he would say prayers for his son.

He came to his store, seeing it with distaste. He looked at the signs, like the balloons in comic strips where they put the words, stuck inside against the glass, the letters big and red like it was the end of the world, the big whitewash numbers on the glass thickly. A billboard, he thought.

He stepped up to the glass door and looked in. Frank, his produce man, stood by the fruit and vegetable bins taking the tissue paper off the oranges. His butcher, Arnold, was at the register talking to Shirley, the cashier. Arnold saw him through the glass and waved extravagantly. Shirley came to the door and opened it. “Good morning there, Mr. Greenspahn,” she said.

“Hey, Jake, how are you?” Frank said.

“How’s it going, Jake?” Arnold said.

“Was Siggie in yet? Did you tell him about the cheese?”

“He ain’t yet been in this morning, Jake,” Frank said.

“How about the meat? Did you place the order?”

“Sure, Jake,” Arnold said. “I called the guy Thursday.”

“Where are the receipts?” he asked Shirley.

“I’ll get them for you, Mr. Greenspahn. You already seen them for the first two weeks you were gone. I’ll get last week’s.”

She handed him a slip of paper. It was four hundred and seventy dollars off the last week’s low figure. They must have had a picnic, Greenspahn thought. No more though. He looked at them, and they watched him with interest. “So,” he said. “So.”

“Nice to have you back, Mr. Greenspahn,” Shirley told him, smiling.

“Yeah,” he said, “yeah.”

“We got a shipment yesterday, Jake, but the schvartze showed up drunk. We couldn’t get it all put up,” Frank said.

Greenspahn nodded. “The figures are low,” he said.

“It’s business. Business has been terrible. I figure it’s the strike,” Frank said.

“In West Virginia the miners are out and you figure that’s why my business is bad in this neighborhood?”

“There are repercussions,” Frank said. “All industries are affected.”

“Yeah,” Greenspahn said, “yeah. The pretzel industry. The canned chicken noodle soup industry.”

“Well, business has been lousy, Jake,” Arnold said testily.

“I guess maybe it’s so bad, now might be a good time to sell. What do you think?” Greenspahn said.

“Are you really thinking of selling, Jake?” Frank asked.

“You want to buy my place, Frank?”

“You know I don’t have that kind of money, Jake,” Frank said uneasily.

“Yeah,” Greenspahn said, “yeah.”

Frank looked at him, and Greenspahn waited for him to say something else, but in a moment he turned and went back to the oranges. Some thief, Greenspahn thought. Big shot. I insulted him.