Peter Stjernström - The Best Book in the World

‘Who can’t? What are you talking about?’

‘Eddie. And Lenny too, I think. I’m not sure. Something is going on there. They keep on pumping me about the book. They know something. And Eddie is not at all who you think he is. He is dangerous. Beware of him.’

‘But…’

She doesn’t have time to find out what Titus is babbling about. The velvet-eyed Eddie X has suddenly sneaked up behind her and put his arm around her waist. A feeling like a minor electric shock goes through her body and she remembers the moments among the eiderdowns on board the yacht. Life is complicated, nobody can say otherwise.

‘Having a conference?’ says Eddie and gives her a warm smile.

‘Mmmm,’ mutters Titus, who returns to his strategy of rationing his words.

‘I didn’t have a chance to ask you what you thought about the evening, Astra?’

‘A success, Eddie. Really. Well done,’ says Astra in a cautious tone.

‘Thanks. Come and sit with us. There’s some food coming in soon. Or, rather, “out”. There’s some food coming out soon,’ says Eddie, and indicates the open night sky above them. ‘I have longed to see you, Astra. I’d like to talk to you.’

He puts his hand on her arm, stroking it softly.

Astra thaws a little more and agrees. A lot of things need to be sorted out. Even though she has buried herself in work the last few weeks, she hasn’t been able to forget what actually happened. Who has said what and to whom? Has Eddie really boasted to Lenny about how he would seduce her? Or was it Titus’ abstinence that created such figments of the imagination? She doesn’t doubt one second that Titus is unreliable. The very fact of calling Eddie ”dangerous”, for example. Ridiculous…

Once back at the table, Eddie devours Astra with his attention. They eat tapas, drink wine and chat together. Eddie is very interested in every detail of Astra’s life. She feels as if she is really being seen for who she is. Slowly but surely, Eddie builds up his credibility again. Eventually, Astra also gets the answer to her question.

‘Yes, it’s true that I told Lenny how much I love you. And you know how he is, as soon as you say something serious he gets all nervous and starts swearing and twitching. Makes dirty gestures. Exaggerates. He can’t do serious. If something becomes genuine and for real, he just wants to run away and talk drivel. I don’t know how he has dealt with what I shared with him. I can imagine that he has said that to Titus. Yeah, told him I had said that. But of course I haven’t.’

‘Why does he behave like that?’

‘I think it is from his childhood. His dad is a famous psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever it’s called. He could never really accept that his own child could have Tourette’s syndrome. I suppose he thought that he gave his son all the love and security he could. Yeah, he probably thought that Lenny shouldn’t have Tourette’s syndrome quite simply. But he does, whatever you say. Lenny’s dad didn’t even manage to alleviate the problem; I think that was what caused the problem.’

‘No, you could say that again. The problem is far from being alleviated,’ Astra cuts in. She has never really discovered what made Lenny tick. She thinks on the whole that he is weird and she has always found it hard to understand the greatness in the noisy music made by The Tourettes.

‘Lenny always felt that his dad didn’t take his situation seriously,’ Eddie goes on. ‘It was nearly always his patients that got all the attention. In the end, Lenny himself gave up trying to combat his Tourette’s and started to accept his situation instead. Tourette’s came to be his best friend, you might say. He let it go into full bloom. He opened all the taps, just let it run freely. Tourette’s has made him what he is today. Today he is respected for the man he is. He wouldn’t be anything without his syndrome.’

‘And his dad? What happened to him?’

‘I don’t know. They don’t have any contact today, haven’t spoken to each other for many years. Perhaps the guy is even dead. Yeah, I think he probably is. I am convinced that Lenny doesn’t actually care.’

‘Sad.’

‘Perhaps, perhaps not. The important thing is that Lenny can be who he really is, don’t you think?’

They look across the table towards Lenny where he’s sitting with his tics and talking to Titus and some others. He gesticulates and yells, laughs and swears. He looks as if he is having a whale of a time.

Titus, however, looks tired and keeps sneaking looks at Astra and Eddie X. He tries to attract her attention with his gaze. He has been doing it for quite some time.

‘Pah, I can’t cope with his puppy dog eyes anymore!’ Astra says to Eddie. ‘He is always under my skin, it’s driving me crazy.’

Eddie looks at her, surprised.

‘I thought you loved Titus?’

Astra laughs.

‘Love? Haha, no I am just his publisher, not his mother. No thanks, I don’t want a whole load of emotions when I’m working.’

They sit in silence for a few moments. Astra doesn’t know which thread she should unravel to find a more amusing subject of conversation. Eddie puts his hand on hers, a gesture of joint understanding.

‘So you also think he has changed?’ he says in a low hiss, and sneaks a dark look at Titus.

Astra reacts to his sudden hissing. She doesn’t recognise that. She pulls her hand away.

‘Changed?’

‘Yeah, don’t you notice how everybody looks at him,’ Eddie goes on with growing anger in his voice. ‘He is a superhero this evening. Before, he was a clown when he did his readings. Now people love him. Did you see how the audience cheered him?’

‘But that’s good, isn’t it?’

Eddie snorts.

‘Good? They hardly paid any attention to me this evening. It was just Titus, Titus, Titus, right across the board. And did you hear that he almost started talking about love? It isn’t Titus who should talk about love, it’s me!’

Eddie doesn’t look Astra in the eye. Instead he is blinking feverishly and staring at Titus, clenching his fists so that his knuckles go all white.

‘Can’t you see how he’s draining me? He stole me, he’s emptying me! He’s crawling into me, he’s filling all my senses with his stinking blackness, and he just stands over there and smiles with his rosy cheeks. I fucking hate it!’

Astra looks at Eddie with growing amazement. Something seems to have cracked inside him. Nasty marsh gases are hissing out of Eddie X the love poet. How the hell could she ever have felt attracted to him?

These bloody artists. She must get away. Quickly.

Titus sees Astra suddenly leave the party. She looks tired and irritated. A pity, he had hoped to talk a little more with her. Now there is nothing else to keep him here at the party. He decides to set off for home. He is dead tired and looking forward to having a moment to himself. He hasn’t had so many social contacts for months. How did he manage it before, when he was nearly always at parties?

Titus says ‘See you, then’ to Lenny, who insists on following along a bit of the way, even though he is a bit unsteady on his legs on account of all the gin.

‘Okay, let’s go,’ says Lenny.

Might be a good thing, thinks Titus. Now I can try to pump him about that break-in and what sort of mischief he and Eddie are up to.

They set off together down the narrow alleys. Near Hornstull they meet a bunch of Hammarby supporters with their green and white scarves. They joyfully greet Lenny and Titus as if it was obvious that the only thing people are thinking just now is that Hammarby has won a home match at the Söder stadium. Yes, this is a good day for Stockholm. Warm weather, a football victory and a legendary Spoken Word evening – could it be better?