Noah Cicero - Best Behavior

A man named Louis Russo was coming. He met Hu and I outside of the NYU library. He worked for a local television station. He seemed nervous and sad. Hu Chin was building an army of sad depressed grown men. This army of sad depressed grown men would one day conquer the world and force everyone to read Richard Yates and Jean Rhys. There would be no war because everyone would be too depressed to care about marching and doing push-ups. There would be famine though because everyone would be too depressed to garden and work very hard at anything.

We met Lin at Saint Marks. She was with two French men. Her boyfriend was a happy French man named Etienne. Etienne was taller, with a nice collar shirt, and very spunky for a man. The other French man was short and sad looking. No one told me his name.

Lin's hair was long. She looked older, her face wasn't so innocent. Cat Steven's Wild World played in my head.

Went to Klong. It was nice inside. It was busy. I didn't know what anything was on the menu. Hu Chin told me, I listened and ordered. Lin talked about Bernie Madoff. No one could remember exactly how much he stole, one person said 48 billion, another 57 billion, another 51 billion, the actual number is 65 billion. No one could figure out how one could steal billions of dollars and where would you hide it.

Etienne kept pretending to be surprised. It was really funny. Lin kept acting embarrassed which made it even funnier. Hu, Louis and I kept laughing hysterically. The other nameless French man sat quietly text messaging. Lin kept saying, “Please forgive him, he's French. I think they are all fucked up. I don't understand a damn thing he is doing or saying half the time.”

Everyone kept laughing. Etienne kept pretending he was seeing something shocking. He kept waving his arms about and making his eyes huge. Lin kept acting more and more embarrassed and talking about how French people had no sense of humor and something was wrong with them.

We ate dinner, went outside and stood on Saint Mark's. Tom White's apartment was across the street but he was sick. Lin and her French men went somewhere. Louis, Hu, and I went back to Williamsburg. When we got back to apartment John Walters and his girlfriend Katie were there. Katie was Korean-American, small and adorable. She had a positive attitude. Happy to see somebody okay and stable living with Hu and John, they both needed a positive influence.

John Walters wasn't drunk. He was weird but not as loud and conquering. He poured me a cup of scotch. He put seltzer water and ice cubes in it. Louis drank from a bottle of wine. Katie showed me her plants outside. Katie and I sat outside on chairs and talked about plants. Gave plant growing advice. She smiled a lot. It was nice to see someone smiling. Went back in. John Walters and Katie went to his bedroom and watched a movie on his computer. Louis, Hu, and I sat at the kitchen table. Louis asked Hu, “What kind of music did your parents listen to?” Hu responded, “Traditional Chinese music.” Louis and I talked about sports and our parents. Hu Gmail chatted with his girlfriend. Louis and I went outside and smoked a cigarette. Louis gave me two dollars for one my cigarettes. I took the two dollars.

Went to sleep.

Woke up Katie moving around in the kitchen. Katie said she needed to go to work. She worked at an art gallery doing something. Don't know what she did. John Walters got up soon after that. We went downstairs, walked down the street and got coffee. Went back to apartment, sat on patio and played cards. Told him I got a blowjob from Petra. He said that was cool. Talked about things we needed to do in life. He beat me at Rummy. We walked to a park. There were Latinos playing baseball. We sat on a bench. He told me he loved Katie, it seemed like he did. He said he wanted to be a famous writer. I told him I liked his new poetry book. He told me he rejected Hu Chin. We thought it was funny. Walked back to the apartment. John said he had to piss. When we got back he left. He had to walk dogs.

Hu Chin woke up shortly after. We took the L to Manhattan. Went to small grocery store. A tall black man with dreads made Hu Chin a coconut shake. Sat in Washington Square Park on a bench in the shade. Two pretty Russian girls played on a skateboard in front of us. A band played, made up of four white guys. An overweight white man holding a cell phone stood by dancing. A black man looking old and angry drove a lawn mower throw the park. Thousands of people were walking around. Old women from Park Slope were sitting by us waiting to die. One of them had their very own middle-aged black woman as a personal nurse. Hu and I did nothing but sit there and talked about writing and how to become famous writers. We sat for several hours talking. We went to Think Coffee several times to get iced coffees. Hu eventually went to NYU library. Walked around and sat in the park for two hours. Felt disoriented and terrible. Too much stimuli, too much walking, no anchor in reality. Needed to get back on the bus, back to Ohio, where reality made sense. Stumbled into American Apparel trying to make sense of my life, but no sense came. Sat in Shakespeare and Company reading Rorty, still no sense came. Hu Chin came up out of NYU. We ate Asian food. He had soup, I had Lo Mein and chicken. He could tell I was tired. We talked softly about polite things. We took the subway to Port Authority. Walked around in it, trying to find where I needed to be. We went to a Duane Reade to get water and chips.

Back on the bus. Going home to Ohio. Surrounded by poor Latinos, blacks, and Asians. Got a text message on my cell phone from Tony, it said, “Unstable, broke up with girlfriend just now.” “Who that girl Ashley?” “Yeah, Ashley.” I laughed. Couldn't sleep on the bus. Everything was dramatic and weird. The sun came up, lighting up the bus. Everyone was sleeping. Looked out the window.

Chapters 12, 13, 14, and 15 of Thomas Hobbes' Leviathan : The book was given to me by Sam Pink, a writer from Chicago. Sam Pink lives in a small apartment with his brother and currently has a mohawk. Sam Pink gave me the book because I sent him a copy of The Human War and Treatise .

The Second Treatise of Government of John Locke: I got the copy at a thrift store in 2002 in Eugene, Oregon. Eugene, Oregon is a really great place. There are redwoods and hippies everywhere. There is an excess of jam band music. No jam band music was used in the making of this novel.

The Social Contract and The Origin of Inequality contained in the same book of Jean-Jacques Rousseau: I got the book at a thrift store in Youngstown called Dorian Books. Dorian Books is really cool. The owner is named Jack. He sits with his cat all day waiting for customers to come in. Usually I'm the only one in there. The cat walks around and minds its own business.

A Theory of Justice and Political Liberalism by John Rawls: Sometimes I daydream about writing a gospel of John Rawls. In the gospel there would be a guy with long hair and a beard. He would go around ghettos, gated communities, urban areas like Times Square, Bedford Street, Brooklyn, cornfields, rice patties, oil fields proclaiming The Original Position. He would go up to small children and teach them the ways of The Original Position. Children would kiss his cheek in love. Women would want to have his babies. It would be a good gospel.

What is Metaphysics by Martin Heidegger: My mother gave me this book for Christmas when I was 16. She said, “Noah, you're a man now. You have pubic hair and you can get boners. You need to learn about life, women, and cars. Here is a copy of What is Metaphysics by Martin Heidegger.” My brothers and dad clapped and told me they loved me. I told my mother, “I love you mom.” My mother smiled, my dad smiled, my brothers smiled. Everyone smiled because it was Christmas morning.