Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

“Hold it. Here’s the problem, you need to properly define the term perfection . The numbers you’re talking about aren’t perfect any more than a particular Rembrandt is perfect. The word perfect is being used in both instances subjectively. The numbers have a particular quality, arguably an attractive one, and on the basis of that quality some human beings over time came to refer to the numbers as perfect. In reality they’re no more perfect than say Fibonacci numbers or prime numbers.”

“Incorrect. The numbers aren’t being called perfect merely because they have an attractive quality. The numbers have a quality that’s attractive, true. But we come across other attractive qualities that don’t inspire us to utter the word perfect . The whole number 10 for example can be thought of as more attractive than 13.29 because of its roundness. The difference is that the quality perfect numbers have is an approximation, maybe even an example, of Perfection. The quality possesses the symmetry and flawlessness of the perfect, of the concept or entity we refer to when we use the word perfect . When we study the number six in light of its multiplicative factors et cetera we see that it really is more perfect than seven. It’s not a mere subjective judgment, it’s immutably true.”

“Maybe, but right now I’m more interested in your crack habit.”

“Very well then, my love of the perfect not surprisingly led me to attempt to achieve perfection. Before I came up here from Florida, I routinely represented about a hundred or so clients at any given time. Having grown accustomed to that, when I first got here, before I had a chance to build up a caseload, I found myself with very few cases and a lot of free time on my hands. The amount of time I could devote to each client had grown tremendously. Consequently, the quality of representation I could give my clients also increased greatly and that convinced me to revisit an idea I’d been toying with for years. The idea was I would pick a client at random and proceed to give that person perfect legal representation. I would represent him in a manner that was not only flawless and resulted in the best possible result but my representation would also have the beautiful symmetrical quality found in all objects we deem perfect. In the end I’d be Time’s first human author of perfection.”

“How could you be sure of that ?”

“I couldn’t. This famously not being a perfect world and all that, but I could be highly confident. Anyway I did it.”

“You gave a client perfect representation?”

“Patience. The next time I was in arraignments I resolved that the sixth client I picked up would be the beneficiary of my perfection; I couldn’t be sure I would do twenty-eight cases so the choice was obvious. Barnes was his name, a big mean-looking guy who was the nicest guy in the world with a voice like the women who spray cologne at you in department stores. Let me tell you something, I was as nervous as some twerpy newbie trying his first case when I went in to interview this guy. Remember we’re talking about perfection here. Any slip-up no matter how minor would end my quest. If I tripped as I entered the booth or mispronounced his name that would decrease his confidence in me and be the end of it. My nerves were compounded by two decisions I had made. First, I’d decided this would be my only attempt. If I failed to achieve perfection, no matter how early in the process, I would not try again with a different client. The reason for that was twofold. For one thing, I doubted I would ever be able to achieve perfection if I wasn’t motivated by the lack of a safety net. This could lead to countless attempts of varying success each undercut by the knowledge that I could always jump ship and start all over. Also it seemed to me that true perfection involved success on the first attempt and not a gradual building up to it. If I were able to achieve success on my first try that would clearly be more perfect than if it took five tries. Agreed?”

“I guess.”

“Good, the other decision I made was that I would not engage in any rationalizations designed to fool myself into the illusion of perfection. If I failed, no matter how minor the failure, I would accept it and not lie to myself like everyone else does. If it turned out I was no better than the average chump, if I was unable to achieve perfection even when every fiber of my being was pointed towards this simple goal, then I would accept it, this soul-robbing mediocrity, like a man. Of course, I fully expected to succeed. As I said earlier, it is absolutely true that perfection can be achieved.”

“Did you achieve it? What happened?”

“Basically it was a burglary case. Dead as they come too. My guy gets caught inside someone’s apartment. The tenant screams for her husband while the guy makes a hasty exit. Cops nab him a block away. He’s got a screwdriver, an inculpatory ashtray, and makes a statement putting himself in the apartment. He’s also a violent predicate. Anyway I do a perfect interview and get him out.”

“How do you get him out?”

“I make a perfect bail application as I was required to do.”

“What does that entail?”

“Well after interviewing him for about an hour and a half, I didn’t put the case up for another four hours.”

“What?”

“Now you’re starting to get an idea of what I mean by perfect representation. During the dinner break I was able to go to the scene and interview some neighbors of the complainants. I gathered more information in those hours, favorable to my client and unfavorable to the complainants, than I normally would during the entire life of a case. By the end of my application, the judge, who was by no means a softie, had no choice but to say ROR. It was beautiful, as if he were acceding to a determination made by a higher power. In short, my bail application was perfect. But I want you to realize the level of attention to detail that was present. It was not merely a question of effort. Blind effort without sufficient aforethought, regardless of how strenuous, is the near-antithesis of perfection. For example, before I even started to put together my bail application I had to internally debate what my goal should be. Instinctively, I obviously wanted to get him out of jail with all the benefits that derive from that in terms of trial preparation and the like, not to mention avoiding the injustice or imperfection of being incarcerated absent any legal determination of guilt. On the other hand getting him out raised the strong possibility that Barnes would not return to court thereby opening himself up to the further charge of bail jumping. There was also the potential issue of plea negotiations. Since he was a predicate, any plea, even a perfect plea, would likely involve jail time and it was less likely that he would accept such a plea, which could prove to be a disastrous mistake, if he was not in jail. So there was a strong argument that if I got Barnes out of jail it could ultimately prove detrimental to him and therefore deny me the perfection I sought. Ultimately I made the perfect decision, reasoning that subsequent perfect representation would overcome these potential difficulties, and strenuously sought and achieved his release. The point is you can imagine how often issues like that would arise. To get Barnes out of jail I had to place allegations on the record but every one I committed to tied me closer to a particular defense strategy at a time when I had heard precious little of the People’s case. So fine lines were being straddled left and right but in every case it was done perfectly.”

“What about your other cases? What did the other lawyers you were in arraignments with have to say when you took five hours to do one case?”