Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

“Just that it occurs to me that I still haven’t asked you the clichéd question you’ve probably been expecting.”

“Which is?”

“Where were you on Wednesday? Isn’t that how they show it on TV and then at the end I tell you not to leave town?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“So where were you last Wednesday counselor?”

“Like everyone else I guess I was shopping for candles.”

“You’re right, I should be more specific. Where were you early Wednesday morning before the blackout? Say three in the morning.”

“Three in the morning?”

“Yes.”

“Sleeping like always.”

“You sure?”

“Quite.”

“Strange.”

“…”

“That’s strange.”

“What is?”

“No because I talked to your neighbors. You know the four guys that live below you? And they said that on that Wednesday morning, at that time, you weren’t home.”

“I’m curious how they would know. They’re neighbors not roommates.”

“True but they said, one of them in particular, that they were knocking on your door at that time and got no answer. Something about wanting to introduce you to a new friend.”

“They’re mistaken.”

“Normally I might agree except that as you know this was just prior to the blackout, which was certainly the kind of memorable event that would stick in someone’s mind you know?”

“I don’t understand. Are they saying that when I didn’t respond to the knocks they broke down the door and conducted a thorough search of my bed and my entire apartment and established that I wasn’t there?”

“No.”

“Because otherwise I fail to see how not answering a knock on your door at three in the morning is evidence of anything other than maybe sanity.”

“So you didn’t hear any knocking.”

“In my bed sleeping, I failed to hear it that’s right.”

“I see and you’re sure you were in bed?”

“Where else would I be? I have to get my sleep don’t I?”

“Okay, but one other thing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Could you get me a picture of yourself?”

“Why?”

“Well it seems there were eyewitnesses to the incident we’ve been talking about. I just want to show them a picture of you so we can maybe rule you out and we can stop meeting like this. Of course I could get just get your OCA picture but this would be quicker and I’m sure you want to be cooperative right?”

“We done? That all?”

“There is one last thing actually.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t leave town.”

I went home shortly after that. Everywhere I stepped I looked around for Assado. On the way up to my apartment I stopped at Alyona’s and banged on the door. No answer. I banged harder and Ralph answered the door. He was wearing the same bluish uniform from the other day.

“Hey pal,” he said.

“Ralph?”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out, ho ho!”

“Is Angus home, or any of the others?”

“Just me pal.”

“You live here now?”

“Soytenly, for now anyways.”

“So where are those guys, I haven’t seen them in a good while. I think since the end of the blackout really, almost a week.”

“Beats me.”

“No idea?”

“No, you must be just missing them, what’s the big deal?”

“Just real weird is all. I’ve lived here over a year and during that period I don’t think I remember a time when all of them were out of this apartment at the same time like this and now suddenly I haven’t seen any of them in like a week.”

“What are you inferring?”

“Nothing I—”

“No I know what you’re inferring! You’re saying I had something to do with their disappearance!”

“Their what?”

“Pins and needles, needles and pins, it’s a happy man that grins,” he said. Then he forced a small smile with his lips pressed tightly together. “Now what am I angry about?” he said serenely. “I know what I’m angry about! You accused me of moyder!”

“Take it easy Ralph. I did no such thing. I just wondered if you knew where they were since you said you live here now.”

“All right pal, you’re right. I just get steamed. When I’m in the right, I’m in the right.”

“Okay I’ll be seeing you.”

“Oh someone came by to see you but you weren’t in. Tori, Tara, Terry something like that.”

“Traci?”

“Yeah that’s it.”

“Came by to see me ? Or came here?”

“No she never came here. She was coming down from your door, she asked if I knew where you were. Everyone’s always asking me if I know where someone is in this place.”

“Amazing. Did she leave a number, an address, anything?”

“No. Quite a comely young lady at that pal. If I weren’t married.”

“You’re married?”

“Sure, how else would I have a wife?”

“What’s her name?”

“Whose?”

“Your wife.”

“Why Alice of course.”

“Got to go,” I said.

The news about Traci was beyond thrilling. I could think of little else even though I was supposed to be writing. Instead I paced around my apartment wondering how I could possibly contact her in the absence of a surname. I did feel much better. I shaved and showered and got dressed in case she came back. Then I practiced spontaneously greeting her and rehearsed some ad-libs. I longed to see her, maybe she would be wearing a hat, and it wasn’t as cold as before so she might even be wearing a skirt or something.

The next morning I jumped out of bed with actual energy. I had eaten. I showered again put on my sharpest suit and, after looking out my window to make sure no one was out there waiting for me, whistled various happy tunes as I walked out the door. It was liberating to think how I would never see Assado again, had all the money I would ever need, and would soon connect with the very yummy Traci. And that’s the way I felt, relieved and calm, until the very moment I stepped outside and saw Assado staring at me from the sidewalk.

“Goddamnit,” I said.

“Oh great,” Assado said. “What a fortunate coincidence, I need to talk to you.”

“I’m late for work.”

“This won’t take long, you have that picture?”

“No.”

“I thought you wanted to cooperate?”

“…”

“Never mind I’ll get the OCA. What I wanted to ask you was whether you’ve heard of the Video Vigilantes.”

“Go ahead.”

“Okay, have you heard of the Video Vigilantes?”

“Yes.”

“Good, so you know what they do. Well as luck would have it, seems that night they had a camera, or actually several cameras, trained on 410 and the surrounding areas, including the roof.”

I literally felt blood rush to my face but said nothing.

“Are you okay?”

“…”

“Well of course we’re still waiting to get the actual tape. It has to be located among the thousands the Vigilantes have. But within a few days we should have it and I guess then we’ll know for sure if my theory about the roof is right.”

“Good for you, good luck with that.”

“What do you think I’ll see on that tape?”

“I have no idea.”

“Really? None?”

“None. Why, what do you think you’ll see?”

“Well no point in speculating, won’t be long now. Guess I’ll be seeing you once I get the tape.”

“I don’t see why.”

“Remember what I said about town.”

“What? About it not being big enough for the both of us?”

“Funny. No about not leaving it.”

“Where would I go? I love New York. You know I’ve been thinking about it and really the best way to put it is that this city never sleeps.”