Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

I sat on a bus stop bench and read my magazine. I threw the candy away. The bus schedule was taped to a post. Every time it said a bus would appear one did, precisely as predicted. Then the bus would open its mouth and release someone in sibilant exhale. Four times this happened then I saw it was two-twenty. I got up and went to the bodega. A half a block from the bodega I saw Dane walking towards me. He was the same distance to the store but from the opposite end. We met at the door. We spoke then walked in. It was two-thirty.

Dane went right over to the fridge on the side. He slid the door open and pulled out a can. He turned towards me spun the can in his hands and showed me its face. It was a yellow can with brown letters. A Yoohoo.

“I thought you were kidding about that,” I said.

“Fuck no,” he said. “I love Yoo-hoo, reminds me of being a kid. The key is to not shake the bottle or in any way disturb the chocolate sediment contained therein. What are you getting?”

I didn’t get anything. I had rolled the magazine into a tube and was smacking it against my right thigh. We walked out.

On the corner of 1st Avenue and 123rd Street we made a left and walked toward the front of 402 from the same side of the street. Dane looked skyward as we walked.

“What are you looking for?” I said.

“Just making sure nobody’s watching us from up there,” he said.

“Did you not do what we said?” I asked.

“I did,” he said.

“Exactly like we said?” I asked.

“Yes, exactly. I went on the roof of the tallest building in the area and looked down on these roofs. I did not see anyone anywhere until sixteen minutes ago when Heckle and Jeckle took their places on top of 410,” he said.

“Good,” I said.

“But it doesn’t hurt to make sure one last time,” he said then he took the gold key out of his pocket and held it up for me to see.

“So they’re on the roof?” I said.

“Yes,” he said.

“So it’s definitely happening then,” I said.

“Happening,” he said.

“And the cops went to the other place on Saturday right?” I said.

“They were there,” he said. He gave me the gold key. “How do you feel?” he said.

“Anxious,” I said.

“Like sportscaster anxious meaning eager?” he said.

“No,” I said. “Like O.E.D. anxious meaning apprehensive.” I went down the outdoor steps on the side of 402. I turned the key and opened the door. We went inside the basement. Nobody saw us.

It was very dark. Dane switched on the light but it immediately sparked and went off. The bulb was dead. I felt my way to the staircase that led up and out of the basement. The light on the first floor worked.

We went to the top floor. I wore tight black leather gloves. I put on black overalls over my clothes. I put on a transmitter. I grabbed my sword with one hand and hung the stun baton from my belt with the other. I checked the time. It was 2:38. I slid the sword into my bag then strapped the bag to my back diagonally like a guitar. I told Dane the time and we sat down.

Dane looked at me and spoke. His lips moved. I had earphones on. I was listening to music. The obvious thing by who else with Fate knocking on my door. I stared back.

Later Dane pointed at his watch and stood up. I took the music off and stuck it in the bag on the floor. I stood up.

“Let’s go,” he said.

I pulled a black mask down over my face then tapped the exposed sword handle, driving the sword further into the bag. Dane went up the stairs. I followed him.

On the roof we stayed low. I left the door open. We crossed quickly to 404 then 406. I looked around and saw no one. Dane said he saw no one either. It was 2:51.

On the roof of 406 near the ledge was a rope. Dane took the rope and slung it over his shoulder. Then he took a black cowboy hat out of his bag and dropped it on his head. He looked at me.

“Ready pardner?” he said. I shook my head in disbelief.

He started swinging the rope in a circular motion above his head. He threw the rope across the alley towards a pole on the roof of 408. The end of the rope bounced off the top of the pole then fell bouncing off the ledge of 408 and swinging down until it crashed into a window of 406.

“No,” Dane said.

“Fuck,” I said. Dane looked at me and pulled the rope up. We said nothing.

“No one’s home,” he said. “Perfect,” he added. Dane swung the rope again then threw it. It stuck barely to the top of the pole then quickly came off when Dane pulled on it. I looked at my watch. It was 2:54.

I looked at Dane and started slowly walking back towards 404. He had pulled the rope back up again. I motioned to him to follow me.

A third time he swung the rope over his head. Then he closed his eyes and threw it again. The hoop at the end of the rope perfectly encircled the top of the pole then quickly descended to the base of its three feet.

Dane pulled hard on the rope securing it tightly to the pole. Then he tied the other end to our pole at about eye level. The taught rope extended from our pole about four feet from the ledge to the slightly higher pole located atop a block structure on the roof of 408.

Dane looked at me. I went over to the rope. I lifted myself off the ground by pulling on the rope and it held. I dropped down.

Dane took a gold pulley-type hook out of his bag and attached it to the rope. He walked backwards to where the rope was tied, a hand on each of the hook’s handles. He took a breath. Then he ran to the ledge and jumped off towards 408. He covered about two thirds of the distance between the buildings without really implicating the rope. Then the hook pulled violently on the rope momentarily warping it. The hook’s two handles were separated by ball bearings in the middle. Dane slid towards 408. Just before hitting the ledge he lifted his lower body forward and up becoming almost perfectly parallel to the ground below. He cleared the ledge and landed softly on 408. He slid the handle back to me and I caught it.

I grabbed each handle tightly and walked to the ledge. I stood on the ledge looking at the street below. I rocked my weight back then forwards. I slid across the rope quickly at first then slowly. I stopped just short of the ledge of 408 and started sliding back towards 406. I quickly swung my feet forward and managed to just catch the ledge. Dane lunged forward and grabbed my ankles pinning them to the outer side of the ledge. My left foot slipped off. My mask had twisted and covered my eyes. I let go with my right hand and tried to adjust the mask. It fell out of my hand and landed in the alley below. I grabbed the handle again. I slowly bent my right leg until I slid to 408 and sat on the ledge.

I dropped off the ledge onto the roof and, not thinking, let go of the hook. It slid away from me before I could grab it. Slowly it slid away from me and beyond my reach stopping just past the ledge of 406.

“Oh shit,” I said.

“Why didn’t you jump like we said?” Dane said.

“Oh fuck,” I said.

“We said jump because of the incline remember?” Dane said.

“We said jump,” I said.

“Jump we decided,” Dane said.

“I lost my damn mask too,” I said

“That’s all right,” Dane said.

“If it’s so all right why don’t you give me yours? Wait… where the hell’s your mask?”

“I decided against it,” he said. “I don’t like anonymity.”

“What are you talking about? We’re going to let these guys see our faces?” I said.

“Yeah fuck them I don’t care what they see, I just want my money,” Dane said.

“That’s insane,” I said.

“There’s nothing insane about it,” he said. “Even with the masks only one guy was supposed to see us anyway and he doesn’t know us from a hole in the wall and will be in no position to remember anything at any rate.”