Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

“Um.”

“I mean the fact that nobody wanted to be the one to do it. The thing is, around here support for the death penalty runs about ninety percent and among people who do what I do for a living that figure is probably even higher so you wouldn’t think there would be this great reluctance to be the one who actually carries out the sentence. People out there think of a judge or the governor as being the one who seals a man’s fate but really it’s me who does it right? So in that sense I do understand the reluctance. It is technically killing. Don’t get me wrong I know it’s completely different but still there’s also a sense in which it’s also just killing. I once crunched the numbers and figured this out, it was strange when I first said it out loud, at a party I think it was, but I’ve killed more people then the next ten people scheduled to be executed combined. Well that was true at the time, God knows if it’s still true. Some of these guys have put up some serious figures. You get the point. I’m a killer. Killing is killing. One day I’ll shave your kid’s head. I don’t like it, he’s a decent kid the few times he talks, but that’s what it’ll probably come to regardless. I’ll shave his head and then I’ll massage the conducting gel they give us into his scalp and just pray he’s not another John Evans. You know John Evans?”

“Evans.”

“Well I was here for that just like I’ve been here for all of them. It’s the smell that people don’t realize. Burning human flesh is unlike anything you’ve ever smelled, I can guarantee you that. You don’t want to smell that and you don’t want to see the eyes either when that thing’s not working like it’s supposed to, let me tell you. Like I said, I was here with Evans when it took fourteen minutes and three separate jolts to finish the job. They kept hearing a heartbeat the doctors. I was there when he caught on fire after the first one and some of the sparks that came out from under the hood landed on me. When it was finally over he looked like the charred piece of meat at the end of the barbeque, the one that falls through the grating? Those things happen is what I’m saying, that’s a fact. People don’t want to hear it but they do happen and it could, God forbid, happen to your kid for example. And you know what counselor? I remember Evans all the time, I do, but fact is at least with Evans it was difficult you know? Maybe it should be difficult to end someone. The ones that really stick in your mind are the ones that seem to have nothing to them, like just turning off a light. That’s just my feeling but maybe that explains it I don’t know. Know what I mean?”

“Definitely, explains what?”

“Like I said, people are in favor of the death penalty and all but when they find out what I do for a living it’s not like they get all happy or anything, I get the feeling they kind of think I must be weird for doing what I do you know? Like it’s somehow wrong for me to do what I do even though it’s my job. Look who I’m talking to, you probably get the same thing. Okay here he comes. You can have a seat in there and wait for him it should only be a couple of minutes. A pleasure meeting you young man, I can tell from the way you speak that you’re quite intelligent, you’re client is in good hands, I’ll tell him too.”

When they bought Kingg in to me he wouldn’t look me in the eye. I think he thought he was in trouble. I looked at his face and saw that he looked no older than in those pictures taken years earlier. Like the twin in the rocket, in that still air Jalen had aged slower than the rest of us. I introduced myself and told him I was the same person who’d written him those letters. His attorney, lawyer. We traded words. It wasn’t really like talking to a compromised adult, more like talking to a fully realized eight-year-old who displayed occasional flashes of comparative near brilliance.

“You knew I was coming today right? I told you in the last letter remember?”

“you melvyn?”

“No, that’s good though. You’re right Melvyn Toomberg is your attorney too. You have two attorneys right now. Melvyn’s one of them and I work with Melvyn. I’m your other attorney, Casi.”

“oh, they let me have two?”

“Yes, you can have even more, it’s okay.”

“what about mister joe?”

“You mean Joe Tellem Bennigan?”

“yes.”

“You’re right he was your lawyer at trial and on the first appeal but when cases go further than that, like yours has, you get different lawyers, understand?”

“but I never said anything bad about mister bennigan or nothing.”

“I know. This is just the way it’s done Jalen it doesn’t mean you didn’t like Mr. Joe or anything, it’s just that the case has become more serious and Mr. Joe, uh Mr. Bennigan, doesn’t deal with cases when they get to this point.”

“oh.”

“Just like him though my job is to protect you, do you understand?”

“yes, like mister joe.”

“Right, Melvyn and I are going to do everything we can to protect you.”

“to keep me here right?”

“Well actually what we want is to get you moved to where people with less serious sentences are held.”

“or to get me out of jail?”

“That would be great.”

“but where would i go?”

“We’d think of something, it would be a nice problem to have.”

“where? my mother died.”

“I know.”

“where will i go?”

“Jalen, the chances of you getting out aren’t very good. Melvyn and I are much more concerned with—”

“but i don’t want you to get me out unless there’s a place for me to go, can you just tell me where i would go if i got out even though i know i’m probably not going to.”

“I don’t… you would… you could stay with… Mable… Jalen.”

“maple?”

“Yes.”

“is she nice?”

“Yes, very nice.”

“what does she look like?”

“She looks like Maple, she’s very nice.”

“but how does she look like?”

“Well she’s big, but soft and chubby, and she has a mansion with lots of room for you.”

“a big house? like big with land?”

“Yes and behind it is a river of the clearest water you ever saw to swim in or drink. You swim in it and it cleans you, drink it and it fills you.”

“and trees?”

“Trees everywhere, trees that fruit just jumps off of. But that’s it Jalen. I shouldn’t even tell you that. That’s just for you to know where you would go, okay? Promise we won’t discuss it more than this because, like I said, it’s very unlikely I can get you there. Promise?”

“promise but you promise to try to get me out to go there right?”

“I promise.”

“then i promise too.”

“Good then, it’s settled. Now do you have any questions about your case?”

He didn’t because to have some would’ve required at least a minimal understanding of the course his case had taken to that point and there seemed to be no danger of him acquiring that any time soon. But in that doleful vacuum I saw the chance for true accomplishment. I vowed that, at the very least, over the next two days I would achieve what countless letters had failed to achieve. By the time I left, Jalen Kingg would have a true understanding of everything that had happened to him in his past and what his future could or would contain. What small laurels I contented myself to seek.

“Jalen,” I said. “I want to start by making sure you fully understand everything that has happened in your case and where we go from here. I know you’ll already know a lot of what I’m about to say but based on the things you just said and your letters and stuff I think your understanding of your situation could probably be better. Okay?”