Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

Arronaugh? Complaint? I didn’t understand.

“I assure you counselor that a contempt proceeding is a very serious matter especially for a young attorney such as yourself. Made all the more serious in this instance by the fact that I will be joining Judge Arronaugh as a highly-esteemed co-complainant based on what Mr. Soldera told this court here on Friday.”

Co-complainants? Never heard such a term. She must’ve simply invented it. It wasn’t one of those invented terms I liked either. Co complainants sounded bad. Bad for me. Like double the trouble or something.

“Do you know what Mr. Soldera told this courtroom before you arrived counselor?”

I didn’t and I was hesitant to hazard a guess.

“Put succinctly he claims that you told him to leave this courtroom on his last court date when a warrant was ordered. Now don’t say anything. You of course have the right to an attorney and the like. I will simply say that it is a very grave matter when an attorney, an officer of the court, counsels an individual to break the law, the law in this case being the proscription against bail jumping. If that were the only allegation of course it would be a different matter. I don’t have to tell you that Judge Arronaugh alleges you made some tremendously disrespectful and disruptive comments on Friday that constituted contempt of court. All of this will, of course, be detailed in the forthcoming complaint counselor. If I were you I would stay in close contact with my supervisors as they will be the first to be informed of the formal charges. Good day counselor.”

That mouthful said, she left.

I felt shame for some reason but it didn’t last. The court officers made little inviting, faux-supportive comments trying to get me to talk about what the judge had said and I almost did, but then I changed my mind and went in the back to see Soldera.

“What’s going to happen next time?” he said.

“She’s going to pick a number and sentence you.”

“No more doctor’s letters?”

“No more.”

“It’s okay man. You tried so hard, you fight so hard for me man. If not for you I wouldn’t a been out all these months man, if not for you, and it was good this time I was out. I didn’t use any stuff, even out you know? No poison. Anyway I know I don’t got long left but in the time I do got I’m going to remember what you didded for me.”

Soldera was crying now… slowly.

I looked at him crying. I kind of wished I could cry too but I couldn’t. I don’t mean that I couldn’t allow myself to cry. I mean that even if I had tried my damndest to cry I would have been unable to. I said “did you tell the judge I told you to split last time you were in court?”

“I don’t recollect what anything I said man. She was like screaming at me and shit and I was just responding in defense and whatnot. I think I did say that maybe. For sure actually. Why? That going to get you in trouble?”

“Doubt it.”

“Because I can tell her the truth next time.”

“No, she’s evil, she’d just take it out on you at sentencing.”

“You in trouble?”

“Cares.”

“You’re in trouble?”

“How could I ever be in trouble?”

“Okay.”

“Settled then.”

When I went back into the courtroom to get my bag all the court officers were gone and the door was locked. I went through the sneaky door judges use to enter the courtroom. Beyond that door was a maze of hallways leading to a slew of doors but no magic EXIT sign in sight.

I moved briskly with a determined gait as if I knew perfectly well where I was going. After making a couple of ill-advised turns, I was now irredeemably lost and couldn’t have retraced my steps had I fervently desired. I started opening doors at random without succor. Twice I opened the door to courtrooms where jurors were hearing evidence. The doors were supposed to have goddamn plaques detailing what was inside but they didn’t. When I came across the plaques they were bunched up on the ground, in a corner, next to a dropcloth and a can of paint. What evil genius had created these catacombs? And for what nefarious purpose?

Near defeat, I tried a green door fully expecting another judge’s glare. Instead I saw stairs, stairs I took all the way down for what seemed like a lot more than seven floors. At the rock bottom were two more doors, side by side and identical. I tried the left one for a change and it opened. The cold felt good but I was below street level in a pit-like enclosure without visible egress. I threw my bag up and out of the pit. Then I scaled the cement wall, did a gymnasticy flip over the rail at the top, and landed on the sidewalk. My bag had opened upon landing, spilling everything everywhere. I fell to my knees to gather the detritus.

I’d never exited that way before. I doubted anyone else had either.

My memory knew no middle ground. Brilliantly exact, to the point of absurdity, on some matters while negligently absent on others, with neither rhyme nor reason a guide to determining which when. After collecting my things from the sidewalk, I was overcome by a powerful desire to go home, and to avoid Conley now that I knew what he wanted to talk about, so I did. But no sooner had friendly Casper let me in, and my body dropped on the sofa, when I remembered that I had agreed to meet Toomberg in my office that night to work on Kingg. My apartment felt transient now and seemed to tease me for my stupidity.

But I had an idea.

I picked up my phone, a device that had to be held at a precise 53° angle from the user’s face in order to work properly, and called Toomberg. He wasn’t there and I was whisked to his voicemail. Because of the distance created between mouthpiece and mouth, you had to yell on this end to be audible on the other. I left a message:

Toom! It’s Casi! I had to come home because of a thing! I was wondering if we could do it here at my place so I wouldn’t have to go back to the office! There’s a library a couple blocks away! I love that library too, it would be a great place to work! I don’t mean to suggest it’s an overly special library or anything! It’s your basic library! You got your newspapers on wooden sticks if you like that sort of thing! They’ve got their share of books too! Though incredibly The Magic Mountain isn’t one of them! You believe that?! No Magic Mountain! Thomas Mann they keep out but they’ve got all sorts of other Toms in there. All the Toms and Thomases your soul could desire! Not Tommy Mann though! Anyway call me back! It’s Casi!

I hung up and hit redial.

Toom! Me again! I didn’t give you my number and I’m not sure you have it with you at work! Also I lied before and I feel guilty! Not about the library, it’s as I described it! When I said I had to come home because of a thing, the thing I came home because of was my pathetic memory! I completely forgot about our meeting! Why do people say completely forgot?! If I only partially forgot then that’s called remembering and I wouldn’t be leaving this message which I never do! Call me!

I rehit redial.

It occurs to me now that I might have given you the wrong impression before about Thomas Mann like I’m some big reader of his work and was thus outraged that I couldn’t find Magic Mountain! Truth is I’ve never read Magic Mountain or Buddenbrooks either for that matter! And the reason for that has nothing to do with the availability of those books in my local library! I have a dog-eared Magic Mountain and though I have picked it up countless times over the years it never takes me very long to put it down for good or at least until the next time! And before you get all worked up I assure you that I have other equal and even far greater holes in my education! Just wanted to come clean… an expression that as I think about it right this minute either makes perfect sense or no sense at all!