Robert Coover - Whatever Happened to Gloomy Gus of the Chicago Bears?

Golda sits thinking about this for a while, holding the bowl — now with just one strawberry left in it — pressed against her soft tummy and fleshy thighs. Finally, she sighs and says: “What if, Meyer… what if he was really, you know, a man ahead of his time?” Maybe, I think, staring out the hole Gus made in my partition into my silent dusty studio, I’ve been worrying too much about Maxim Gorky’s eyes. Maybe I should have one of them wink, or cross them, or paint eyeballs on cardboard that can be moved from side to side and up and down behind the cavities. “Like, maybe, if we had only given him more love and understanding, this woulda never happened…”

“Maybe that’s what we’re all dying of, Golda. Love and understanding…”

“Not me,” she replies brightly and claps a hand on my leg. “Here, Meyer,” she grins, plucking the last strawberry from the bowl with her free hand, and pinching my own hand, still between her legs, “this’ll cure the alienation what ails you!” I lean forward to suck it from her fingers, but she drops it down her cleft, poking it deep inside the brassiere. “Communism don’t deprive any man of the power to appropriate the products of society,” she lectures huskily, sliding her hand up my thigh, “but you got to show you got a appetite…”

And that’s how it happens that I’ve got my nose deep in Golda’s brassiere, her hand yanking on my stiffened organ, when her brother Harry comes in with Jesse, carrying Ilya between them, out cold, along with some other guys I never saw before, all boisterously singing “Raggedy, Raggedy Are We.” When they see us like that, they switch to “Nekkid, nekkid are we…!” Left it open again… yet again. Well…as long as I’ve got my nose in there, I figure I might as well get what I came for.

“Say, we seen all them pretty flowers on the door,” Jesse declares, as they dump Ilya on some tarps in a corner. They’ve got some bottles as well, a sack of potatoes, and a peeled bird. “You guys celebratin’ the Duke losin’ his cherry or some-thin’?”

I come up with the strawberry between my teeth, and one of the newcomers says: “Naw, he’s jist bobbin’ fer apples!”

“Who said they was no free lunch?”

They all roar with drunken laughter and Jesse says: “Hey, let’s sing ’em your weddin’ song, Harry! C’mon, Billy Dean!”

Golda flushes politely and pulls on her clothes, muttering something about going out to see if my pants are dry (“I was afraid he’d catch his death of cold, Harry!”), while the others spread their feet apart to keep from tipping over, wrap their arms around each other’s shoulders, and bellow forth (the tune might be “Yankee Doodle,” but probably isn’t):

“Jolly old Wally

Said to Eddie

In their wedding bed:

‘Where’ve you kept

That great big scepter

You had before we wed?’

“Said Ed to Wally:

‘I’m so solly,

If you are frustrated,

But this thing,’ he said,

‘Between us is dead,

I’ve been expropriated!’ ”

“They’re still wet,” says my Homecoming Queen when she comes back in. The others are all hoo-haing, snorting, slapping their knees, genuinely pleased with themselves. In the midst of it all, Golda and I are introduced to Billy Dean and his friends Gordon and Elroy, Jesse explaining in a loud voice that they all need a place to bunk down for a couple of nights and that Gordon, who’s said to be a painter and hopeful of getting on some WPA arts project now that he’s heard about them, is staying with me.

“And lookie here,” says Jesse, holding up the scraggly bird, “we found this here kosher chicken on the way up, jist layin’ there — musta got hit by a damn car!”

“Probably it committed suicide,” booms Harry, “caught out there in that kuckamaimie without its feathers on!”

“Now howzabout conjurin’ up somethin’ clever with the remains, Goldie, so’s the pore cock won’ta died in vain?”

“Well,” she says, glancing at me, “if it’s all right with Meyer…”

“Sure, it’s all right with Meyer,” snorts Harry. “If he don’t eat nothing but strawberries, he’ll get the f’kucken scurvy!”

“I thought berries was supposed to be good for scurvy,” says Golda.

“Well, scabies, then. Or diabetes. Whatever it is, it is sure to be the end of the little petseleh, if not worse!”

“There’s some fish, too,” I say, tired of my own silence. “A red mullet.”

“I knowed I smelt somethin’ dreadful,” says one of the newcomers.

“Now, that’s a very poetical and appetizin’ com-bynation!” exclaims Jesse, slapping the lump of yellowish chicken flesh down on the table. “Mullet ’n pullet!”

“Don’t talk dirty, Jesse,” Golda scolds, poking through my toolbox for a usable knife.

“Hey, did you hear, Meyer?” Harry says. “General Mola is dead! The old shitser crashed in a airplane today!”

“Man, that nigger cat sure got a style for disassemblin’ a fishhead!” groans the one called Billy Dean, watching the Baron at work. “Kinda takes your appetite away…”

“If something happens to f’kucken Franco now, chavairim, the whole shitpot could break down!” says Harry cheerfully, his fat cheeks piled back toward his ears in a mirthless grin. “Things could be maybe better in Spain after all this than they ever were!”

Hasn’t he seen what’s happening, I wonder. (“Dam’ right, Harry!” says Jesse, uncapping a bottle of Silver Dollar whiskey.) Maybe not. Some things we just don’t want to know. Elroy switches the radio on and tunes in The Lone Ranger .

“Man, lookit this thang! Somebody been usin’ this raddio for target practice!”

“Billy Dean here knows a guy who was down at Republic Sunday,” Jesse says, throwing a wink my way. “He says the first shots probably come from inside…”

Billy Dean stammers something defensive about this unnamed friend being on the wrong side, not knowing what was really going on, but that he learned his lesson watching how the police worked that day. His version of Gloomy Gus’s charge: “He seemed to be blowin’ smoke outa his butt, like somebody dropped somethin’ in his pants!” Harry by now is completely convinced that Gus was a police informer and that the story of his rehabilitation after he crashed out of professional football was just an elaborate fabrication to cover the time of his police training. Golda says she doesn’t think any of the political theories are correct, nor does she buy the idea that he was just a freakish psychopath that Leo manipulated or was manipulated by. She thinks he was an ordinary man of ordinary abilities possessed by an heroic vision of life. He’d sacrificed a lot of things most people take as normal — including normal social behavior — in his effort to realize that vision, with the consequences that, like many geniuses (here she glances my way winsomely), when he achieved his goal the ordinary people he’d once been a part of couldn’t understand him anymore. He knew this, and so when his moment came he gave, not explanations or advice, but himself. “Like a poet…”

I smile. One of my figures of a dancer has fallen — maybe it fell a month ago when I got hit by Guernica — and I see that it looks interesting on its side like that. Like somebody twisting to be free of chains. I realize suddenly that what I want to do is make sculptures that reveal different things at the same time, have profiles substantially different and a number of uniquely meaningful positions. O.B. arrives while I’m thinking about this (what does it have to do with my idea about dissonance, I wonder), and says he heard that Gus had captured the Republic Steel plant single-handed Sunday and had got shot singing “Happy Days Are Here Again” from the plant roof. There are some awkward moments as the Southern boys shy from this hardy black man, but they’re soon got over through O.B.’s own good nature and Jesse’s embracing sympathies, Jesse informing them all that he’s got a new song called “Whatever Happened to Gloomy Gus?” O.B. is more or less on his way to Mad-hatten, as he calls it, but says he needs a corner to sack out in for a couple of nights while he winds down his local love life, and can he stay here? He seems unusually gregarious and self-confident, but I can see that underneath the heartiness he’s frightened, so I can’t say no.