Robert Coover - Origin of the Brunists

Epilogue: Jones presents set of prints as Happy Easter Bunny oblation and receives compensatory walking papers. No goddamn sense of humor.

Jones swigging rye in club car now resumes review, confers blue ribbon on one titled “Quiff Couching at Forty-five Degrees.” Hay seed passes on rubber legs, gawks, flushes. “Hey, them’s purty hot pitchers you got there, mister!”

Jones belches wearily. “Three bucks apiece,” says he. “Thirty silver dimes.”

Easter Sunday, after dark. The phone rings. Eleanor Norton answers. “Yes?”

“This is Jesus Christ calling.”

She blanches and those watching blanch, too. These are the Last Days and even harassment must be taken for a sign, must be exploited for concealed meaning. “Why are you troubling us?”

“I have an important message for you all.”

“Why don’t you bring the message personally?” She tries to be stern, but her voice fails her.

“Well, actually, that’s what I’m doing. To tell the truth, I am here in the room with you right now, but you can’t see me. My only means to cross the, uh, aspect barriers between us was by utilizing the electronic amplification system provided by this instrument you hold in your hand.”

“Ah!” It is too reasonable to be denied. Hand covering the mouthpiece, she explains to the others, now crowding around, all, like her, dressed in white tunics. “But what … what is your message?”

“We have waited too long. The publicity campaign being waged against us by our enemies is muddling up the frequencies. We cannot risk any further delays. We have decided the end, that is, the transition, must come tonight.”

“Tonight!” she cries, her voice breaking with a squeak. She covers the mouthpiece. “He says the end is coming tonight!”

Mary Harlowe, paling, to Mabel Hall: “You said it could be Easter!”

Willie Hall: “As it says in the Good Book—”

Jesus: “Can you make it out to the hill in twenty minutes?”

“Yes!” Eleanor is already standing, waving at Wylie to get ready to go. She hears the sarcasm, knows it’s wrong, another horrid prank, yet doubts what she knows, for how can one be sure? And there is no time to think. “In twenty minutes!” she cries to them all, not covering, and there is a flurry of activity.

“Uh, just one thing. You must rid yourselves of everything that belongs to this world or you won’t be light enough to pass through to the next. Do you understand?”

“Yes, yes! Everything!”

“Roger. No possessions, no clothes, no jewelry, nothing.”

“No—!”

“Eighteen minutes.” ( Click. )

She is frantic. She explains. Clara snorts. An argument ensues. Time passes. Even Wylie resists. But dare we take chances? Clara says flatly she isn’t going to go stand stark naked on that hill just on account of some telephone call and Elaine isn’t either. Carl Dean Palmers is strangely spotted with his acne-centered flush, but he refuses to support Eleanor. On the other hand, Ben Wosznik agrees they had better do it. They are grown-up people and common sense tells you you won’t be wearing clothes in Paradise anyhow, so why be embarrassed about it now? The widows pink and stammer, but seem to agree. Clara retorts she’s not embarrassed, she just doesn’t want to go put on a show for a townful of practical jokers.

The phone rings again. “Yes?” Eleanor’s hand trembles.

“Thirteen minutes.” ( Click. )

“Thirteen minutes!” she cries. “Giovanni Bruno! Hark ye!” He is excited, alert, fingers digging into the scruff of the old armchair. She is suddenly terrified at the realization that he will say yes, they must go, that something awry could break forever the fragile circuit, that she herself really does not believe — or was that his inner voice on the phone—?

It rings again. Eleanor shies, watching Giovanni, and Clara jumps for it. “Hello, who is this?”

“Ten minutes—”

“Don’t hang up! Now listen, if you are who you say you are, and if you’re here in the room like you say you are, then you don’t need to dial our number to reach us. Even if I hang up on you, I shouldn’t be able to disconnect you, ain’t that so?”

Eleanor is breathless with the brilliance of it, awed by Clara’s majestic calm.

“Uh, the electronic mechanism is such that—”

Clara plunges her fist down on the cradle, gazes around at all present, then lifts it. She listens, smiles. They all listen: the dial tone … burrrp … burrrp … burrrp . They relax. Clara is praised. But they decide anyway to visit the hill.

Around town that night of Easter Sunday, April twelfth, the collective eye is on the hill. The great vernal celebration of the Risen Christ concluded, West Condon has no choice but to turn and face the week before them, the week of the Brunists, the prophesied end, the Mount of Redemption and of humiliation. For four straight days, the West Condon Chronicle has headlined the bizarre story. For four straight days, the city editor has exploited the event in special articles and photo features released to the world. As Vince Bonali put it, talking to his buddy Sal Ferrero one day: “History is like a big goddamn sea, Sal, and here we are, bobbing around on it, a buncha poor bastards who can’t swim, seasick, lost, unable to see past the next goddamn wave, not knowing where the hell it’s taking us if it takes us anywhere at all.” And so now, thanks to the city editor’s all-round betrayal, the leaky raft of West Condon rises on a crest, and if it cannot perceive, it is at least perceived. All the way from the Antipodes to the Balearics, Curaçao to Dahomey. Wirephotos, news stories, television and radio broadcasts, those tawdry flares that randomly light up pieces of that sea, burst now over West Condon, exposing it to all the Peeping Toms of Egypt and the Fijis, the Ganges and Hong Kong … indeed unto Zion. A month and a half ago, it was all about coalmines and violence and economics and death, and there was an innocence about it. Today it is faith and prophecy and cataclysm and conflict, and it is outrageous. Why did it happen here? How will it be stopped? Where will it end? Luckless mariners adrift, none can know.

At Easter Sunday Evening Circle at the Church of the Nazarene, Lucy Smith is telling all the girls about the lovely new tunics the Brunists are wearing now and how the prophet’s sister has neither spoken nor eaten in four days. There are rumors of something unspeakable that might have transpired between her and Mr. Miller, the newspaper editor, who has turned out to be the dark false friend that Mabel Hall found in her cards. President Sarah Baxter listens, as excited as the rest, yet oppressed by a terrible melancholy, hoping only that Abner is not listening in on them again. She feels so inadequate, is inadequate, and Abner has so reviled her for it. She liked Circle so much better when Sister Clara did everything, when she herself, like Sister Lucy now, was merely a belovèd anecdotist, free to have her tea leaves read by Mabel and to complain with the other girls about why the Circle wasn’t better than it was. Abner has grown so distant through this struggle, so austere, so crossgrained and vindictive, she feels quite desperately alone in the world with this new life stirring like a terrible condemnation in her aged womb. She cries every day. She just can’t help it. And Abner doesn’t care, he doesn’t even punish her for it. He just hates her.

Thelma Coates tells them now about Sister Clara’s travels through the neighboring counties and how, if the world should still exist in some form or other after next Sunday (they all giggle nervously), Clara has been authorized by God Himself, she says, to carry His new word and appoint His new bishops, and, what is more, Mabel Hall believes that Brother Willie may become the bishop of all West Condon, which is very exciting news.