Ma Jian - The Dark Road

Tang has chosen a table at the back of the restaurant. Meili’s heart races as she makes her way towards him. She smiles stiffly and grips Nannan by the hand.

‘ Kung hei fat choi , Tang!’ she says, unbuttoning a tailored white down jacket she bought recently to replace the thick, cumbersome one she’s had since she left Kong Village.

‘So you speak Cantonese now!’ Tang says with a smile. ‘This town certainly has changed you!’ His hair is wet and his face flushed with excitement.

‘Sorry we’re late. The streets are packed. The e-waste company I used to work for made its workers parade through the streets with banners bragging that it supports education. What a joke! All its workers are illegal migrants. If the company’s so public-minded, why doesn’t it start by demanding the legalisation of migrant schools?’

‘Trying to change government policies is a waste of time. All we can do is find ways to work around them. Look, both you and I are registered as peasants, but I managed to study abroad and you’re now a general manager. So we haven’t done too badly, have we?’

‘You used to go on about wanting to campaign for a cleaner environment, better education and health care, an end to corrupt bureaucracy, but it looks like this town has changed you as well.’ Although Nannan is present, Meili is still on guard, and is trying to keep the conversation polite and formal.

Tang orders a few dishes then asks Nannan what she’d like, but Nannan just shrugs her shoulders and sticks her thumb in her mouth.

‘A custard tart should be enough for her,’ Meili says. She wants to check her lipstick, but is too embarrassed to take out her pocket mirror.

‘I’ve ordered your favourites, Meili: fish slice congee and taro croquettes,’ Tang says. ‘You’re looking more and more like your mother these days, Nannan. You have the same beautiful phoenix eyes.’

Meili is self-conscious about the unsightly brown pregnancy patches on her face and her swollen ankles, and feels that Tang’s constant flattery is undeserved. But it pleases her, nonetheless, and is one of the reasons she still likes to flick through glossy fashion magazines.

‘A local businessman was planning to let off a one-kilometre string of firecrackers today, hoping he’d break a Guinness World Record,’ Tang says, ‘but he had to call it off because of the rain.’

‘That must have cost him a fortune to make!’ Meili says, glancing at the lipstick imprint on her white cup.

‘He owns three e-waste companies, and makes a million yuan a year,’ Tang says. ‘So, tell me, how is your husband liking his new post at Red Flag Primary?’

‘Very much. He’s so grateful to you for helping him get it. He would’ve joined us today, but he’s meeting the headmaster to ask if he can persuade the local authorities to let him restore the Confucius Temple.’

‘To think he’s the seventy-sixth generation descendant of the great sage! Well, he’s not let his ancestor down! The Education Department was very impressed when I told them he was a direct descendant — that’s why they gave him the two-year contract. Yes, it would be great if the Confucius Temple were brought back to life. In the Cultural Revolution it was used as the headquarters of the Municipal Road Department, but since then it’s fallen into ruin.’

‘Which god do you believe in, Tang?’ Meili asks, noticing a picture of the God of Longevity above a potted bamboo tree by the doorway.

‘None of the gods you see in the temples, that’s for sure. I used to believe in another kind of god, but less so since I’ve returned to China.’

‘I want to visit the Golden Flower Mother statue in Foshan and ask her whether she thinks I should give birth.’

‘The baby’s been inside you for five years now, hasn’t it? It’s time you let it come out. You’ve already broken the Guinness World Record for the longest pregnancy!’

‘No, there’s a ninety-year-old woman in this province who was pregnant for sixty years. Anyway, it’s not as if I haven’t tried to give birth to my child. I went into labour and pushed as hard as I could, but she simply refused to come out.’ It’s always a relief to Meili when she’s able to refer to Heaven as a girl.

‘I’ve heard that a strict new director has been assigned to the County Family Planning Association, so Heaven Township might not be a safe refuge for pregnant women for much longer.’

‘As long as I stay near that filthy lake, I should be fine. Officers don’t like having to trudge through all the rubbish down there, and even when they do come, I always manage to send them packing. Did you realise that the lake is the same shape as the womb of an eight-month-pregnant woman? To think that I moved to Heaven so that I wouldn’t have any more babies! I was assured the air here kills human sperm. But the first night I arrived, I got myself knocked up!’

‘Ha! You make me laugh! You’re so fresh and natural.’

‘Coarse and uneducated, that’s what you mean!’ It suddenly occurs to Meili that although she can now buy almost anything she wants, her new wealth has given her no meaningful satisfaction. During the years they were too poor to eat out at restaurants, she, Kongzi and Nannan were much closer. They appreciated each other’s company more and had time to savour the simple pleasures their meagre income allowed.

‘No, you’re strong, invulnerable. You haven’t allowed any of the ordeals you’ve suffered to dent your spirit.’

‘Well, I’ve had to develop a thick skin. Can you imagine the looks I’ve got, walking around town with this belly for five years? Family planning officers stop me in the street and tell me my bulge is bad for the town’s image and that I should hurry up and give birth. But I tell them that little Heaven is living in my womb, eating my food. She’s no burden to the state. She has a right to stay inside me as long as she likes. I told them that as soon as the government repeals the One Child Policy, I’ll give birth to her. As soon as it promises that every child born in China will be given full legal citizenship, I’ll tug her out with my own hands, if I have to.’

‘You should be more careful. Haven’t you read that in other parts of this county, women are dragged off the streets and given forced abortions? It happens every day.’

‘I know. It happened to me too, once. The doctors injected poisons into my fetus hoping to kill it, but when he came out, he was still alive, so they strangled him to death right in front of me.’

‘That’s not an abortion,’ Tang says, his face turning pale. ‘That’s cold-blooded murder! I had no idea you’d experienced such a terrible thing.’ He rubs his chin and casts a concerned glance at Nannan.

‘So, you see, until this government decides to stop killing children, Heaven is safer staying where she is. As her mother, all I can do is provide her with a warm home. Unless someone comes to demolish it and force her out, she can stay inside as long as she likes. She and I will just take each day as it comes.’ She sprinkles some white pepper onto her congee and swallows a small spoonful.

‘You’re like the heroine of a Victorian novel, rebelling against oppressive convention in the pursuit of happiness! Yes, you have that air of stubborn defiance. Have you read Charlotte Brontë?’

Meili shakes her head, blushing at her ignorance. ‘No, I haven’t read that book. But do lend it to me, if you have a copy.’

Knowing she was coming out to lunch today, she had her white shirt washed at the New China Hotel, whose laundry is sent to Foshan and returns smelling not of burnt plastic but of roses and osmanthus. Despite her apprehension, she’d been looking forward to this meal, but now she wishes she could grab Nannan’s hand and leave.