William Vollmann: Whores for Gloria

Jimmy said eyes or no eyes what's your godamned name I like to know the name of the lady I'm talking to.

Korea said I can call myself any name you want so what do you want to call me?

I might call you Gloria, Jimmy said.

Well Jimmy how did you know that Gloria is my name it's actually my real name 'cause I'm a refugee from GLORY. It happened a long time ago when there was juice from pears and peaches in my veins and I used to be able to dance so high you couldn't see me from the steeple of the highest church.

Jimmy said no no no you're not Gloria; Jimmy cried.

In Defense of women

Now Jimmy walked back to Post Street and right to Larkin and left down to Turk Street where it was so hard to escape from pink neon curves and left again for four or five long dark blocks to the place where you could buy marital aids and Big John dolls with rubber mouths to suck you off and other dildoes; in this establishment devoted to increasing the general ecstasy and private well-being the boys were playing video strip poker with films of women who kissed their hands to you from behind the blue screen and talked in low scratchy voices like transvestites; you put in a quarter and then if you won the hand you got to watch the woman of your choice take her shoes off and then it was time to INSERT QUARTER again; if you lost the hand you didn't even get to see that much. — That's how the bitches are in real life too, said a fat boy who had lost and lost, but Jimmy said boy don't ever say that because women need money to stay beautiful for you and that's why I say to you boy never begrudge what you give a woman because you'll see it compounding interest in her eyes and breasts and she will glow for you like you never thought she could and the boy said aw go jerk off you old wino and Jimmy who was still strong grabbed the boy by his neck and lifted him off the floor an inch or so and told him sonny do you want me to pop your eyes out with two fingers or punch you in the nose bone so it smashes up into your brain, if you have a brain that is, or should I chop you on the upper lip and knock your teeth out? I bet you didn't know there's a lot of nerves real close to the skin right there. — Aw right I'm sorry sorry sorry choked the boy who was sweating like a pig, and Jimmy let go of his neck and watched him drop that inch back to the floor and as he was walking away he pretended not to hear the boy say you crazy fucking wino.

Remembering the fire

Later that night Jimmy say a leggy blonde who reminded him a little of Gloria and he got a semi just looking at her so when he got to the corner he said how's it going? but the blonde just clopped by him and crossed the street. For a minute Jimmy was a little down, but he said to himself that girl was no lady; Gloria would never have done that. (And he closed his eyes and said Gloria? Gloria, am I remembering you better than last night?) Then he spied a cute one with a plump and bouncy butt and he said Gloria if this is the one tonight I'm asking you to move her to move me and he followed that bouncing butt for three blocks where the fire engines were going with screaming sirens and he remembered a night two or three years ago when even after midnight it was as balmy as Florida and inside all the rat-trap apartments it was too hot to sleep so that at three in the morning all the whores and pimps stood outside in their shirt sleeves and everyone was enjoying the weather and whores sat on the hoods of old cars smoking cigarettes and enjoying the breeze that went up their miniskirts and cooled off their smoking pussies and all the windows were thrown wide open in the hotels but the buildings seemed anyway to be exhaling steam and sweat from every crack in their stucco or grimy brickwork and the whores hiked up their dresses even higher because it was so hot and the whores smiled like tropical orange juice girls and the whores giggled like little girls staying up past their bedtime and the moon was full and to top things off a big fire broke out in a building on Eddy Street so there was something to watch and until the fire engines put it out everyone had a fine time. — This whore must not have been there, for she had no party spirit. She kept walking and walking very briskly although she must have noticed that Jimmy was following her, so Jimmy called out hey babe oh baby you are gorgeous but don't you remember the fire last fall when we were all so happy well now you're spoiling it for all of us by turning the cold cold shoulder and freezing the fire in my heart even though I've been following you for way over an hour and that's more than sixty minutes so what are you afraid of doll I got money now come to Daddy, but the whore never looked back, and Jimmy smacked his fist into his palm thinking that bitch is no different than a tampon they're both stuck up cunts and Gloria would never have tolerated her in our home for half a second and he started thinking about giving up and ducking into the 441 Club for a beer and a round of liars' dice with the barmaid when he saw the most beautiful black whore smiling at him on the corner and then he knew that the evening would be a success.

Melissa

You want some company? asked Melissa and Jimmy said I sure do and Melissa said walk with me then and tell me how much you have to spend and Jimmy said I have forty and Melissa was happy with that which made Jimmy happy and Melissa said what do you want me to do with you and Jimmy said I want you to tell me happy stories about when you were a little girl and I'll just kind of sit down and watch you and listen to you and Melissa said OK honey you follow a little behind me I'm going to cross the street and go into that white building just beside the store, so Jimmy ambled half a block behind her as if he had nothing to do with her at all and a black-and-white police car cruised beside him for a moment but Jimmy never looked at it and finally the police car gave up and drove away and Jimmy watched Melissa's ass twisting and turning in the tight skirt ahead of him and he felt the thrill because he had caught her and she was going to do just what he wanted.

Melissa held the grating open for him. The lobby was old-style marble, but as soon as they went upstairs everything was dark and shabby and stinking. Melissa took him around the corner for a minute and stood thinking and then led Jimmy to the elevator. Jimmy's dick was hard. They went down together in the little steel cage, neither saying a thing because they both had exacdy what they wanted, and then the cage stopped and they were in the basement. Melissa led him into the laundry room. — Close the door, said Jimmy, but Melissa wouldn't because she was afraid of him.

You remind me of Gloria, said Jimmy. — Who's Gloria? said Melissa. — Oh she used to live around here, Jimmy lied; she moved about three weeks ago. Have you seen her? — No, Melissa said. I've never seen her.

I guess the first thing I wanna do, said Melissa in her low breathy voice, is ask you to tell me exactly what kind of stories you want me to tell.

Tell me some happy stories about when you were a girl.

Oh, happy stories? OK. All right.

One of the happiest things I guess I can remember from being a young child was my first train ride, said Melissa. Most people say they can't remember too much before the age of four or five. I remember clearly when I was three years old taking a train ride to Louisiana to visit my father's grandmother, who was dying. It was the wintertime, I remember, 'cause there was a lot of snow falling when we went through the Colorado mountains there. And I remember having the conductor come through the train in the early morning, saying: First call for breakfast in the dining car! First call for breakfast in the dining car! and everybody was bustling around to get to the dining car to eat breakfast. A few mornings we actually had breakfast in the dining car, and it was exciting, being a small child. I remember getting off at the stops along the way. In New Mexico I remember pretty well seeing the Indian jewelry, the stuff you see now, silver and turquoise stuff. And then on through to Texas and finally Louisiana where I do remember going to New Orleans as a child. One of the things that sticks out in my memory— actually it wasn't happy at all but it sticks out in my memory— was the separate bathrooms for black and white people down there. I remember asking my mother what was colored. That was over twenty years ago now.