William Vollmann - The Royal Family

Oh, I wanted to keep it clean to touch the Queen with in case she comes in here.

She won’t be coming in here any time soon, said the old manager. I hear they sent her down to San Bruno. What do you think of the chicken? It’s my own special sauce.

Don’t talk about the sauce, said the new manager. We gotta keep it a secret.

The Vietnamese girl he’d just tipped came in and pretended not to recognize him. He beckoned her over. — Have some chicken, he said. I have plenty.

You already lonely again? she cried in disgusted surprise.

Always, he said. But I’m celebrating. I told you I did the Queen.

He went home, turned on his computer and ordered an economy scan for American women whose first names were Africa. There came the connection beep he knew so well, and then the wriggling cursor indicated that the machine was SEARCHING. Your search number is 0773427. Then the screen scrolled down to the disclaimer: Nothing was guaranteed. Even though Tyler had to pay, the disclaimer warned, he shouldn’t expect to get anything for his money. Nonetheless, the computer found thirty-eight matches, six of them with California addresses. So, flashing down blue-underlined screen menus, he ran six extended traces at twenty-five dollars each. Soon he had their dates of birth and social security numbers. The Department of Motor Vehicles database presented him with the physical descriptions on their drivers’ licenses. They were all black. One, a Mrs. Africa Lively, had a Beverly Hills address and phone number. Tyler telephoned her and reached an answering service man who said that she was in Europe until July. He ran a credit check on her just in case. She owned three mansions and a cosmetology empire. So much for her (probably). The second Africa, formerly of Colusa, was freshly dead. The other four Africas were all alive and in San Francisco. One had a parking infraction on her record. Otherwise they were clean. Tyler printed out their DMV descriptions so that he could stalk them at his convenience, then telephoned his mother, who said she hoped that he and John could spend a weekend in Sacramento with her soon.

You datin’? You datin’? cried the whore Kitty.

Just looking, said Tyler. How about you?

Are you a cop? You don’t have to intimidate me. I’m not a prostitute. I’m just out here tryin’ to make a little money. Hey! I seen you before! You was with that bigshot Mr. Lunch, and you — yeah, you’re Mr. Breakfast, and I gave you head. I give pretty good head, huh?

You sure do, said Tyler. How’s Sapphire doing today?

That retard bitch? She just pissed her pants again, and Maj said…

Glaring in alarm, a black prostitute in a white miniskirt elbowed her in the ribs.

Why, good evening, Tyler said to her. What’s your name, darling?

Chocolate, said the black woman, obviously pleased to divert the subject.

Well, that’s a pretty edible name. Are you feeling edible tonight?

How much you got to spend?

I like that plastic bracelet on your wrist. Did Africa give it to you?

Africa? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you some kinda fucking racist? That’s my hospital bracelet. I just got out of General today. Somebody stabbed me; I was in the trauma ward; you shoulda seen me…

Hey, Chocolate, if I give you twenty dollars can I have your bracelet?

What for?

Tyler lowered his voice and winked. — I want to take it home and lick the sweat off.

You catch that, Kitty? Chocolate laughed. Is this pervert for real?

Kitty slid her sunglasses down her nose. — What about me, Mr. Breakfast? Don’t I get a finder’s fee?

All right, ladies, he said. Here’s five for you and twenty for you. Let me just cut through this bracelet with my pocketknife…

He got into his car and drove happily home. The medical record number on the bracelet was 3144173. He wrote up a request for medical records, attached to a blurry old copy of a power of attorney he’d once done. He photocopied it four times and sent one to Admission and Discharge Records Department, one to Emergency Room Records Department, one to Medical Expense Records Department, and one to Billing Statements Department. Billing Statements wrote back right away and said that that information was confidential. Emergency Room and Medical Expense Records he never heard from. Admission and Discharge sent him a copy of the first page of Chocolate’s chart. Her real name was Brenda Wiley. He drove down to the hospital the next afternoon and by flashing his toy police badge convinced a young clerk to let him see the rest.

BRENDA WILEY

MR#: 3144173

PT TYPE: J

PATIENT EMPLOYMENT STATUS: 3

OCCUPATION: UNEMPLOYMENT

SSN: 544-38-5008

DOB: 11/12/1959

AGE: 37

SEX: FEMALE

There followed the bleak and tediously told tales of her misadventures and bodily misfunctions, bound into three fat volumes whose scope went back twenty-two years. The theme of any history of a body must be decay, but this body had begun to decline on or before the age of fifteen, when Brenda first married cocaine. By sixteen she was an experienced whore with her first crack baby inside her. There would be seven more. Over and over the medical chart said:

VAGINAL DELIVERY W/O COMPLICATING DIAGNOSES

PRINCIPAL: 644.21 EARLY ONSET DELIVERY 73.59 MANUAL ASSIST DELIVERY NEC

SECONDARY

70 MENTAL DISORDER — DELIVER

71 COCAINE ABUSE — UNSPEC

V27.0 DELIVER — SINGLE LIVEBORN

and once she gave birth to crack-addicted twins.

At first the chart approved the transparency of her urine, but as the years of bad living stained her, entries such as the following became the rule:

BLOOD COUNT AND DIFFERENTIAL

COLLECTION Clean catch

URINE VOLUME 5(a) reference units

COLOR Yellow

CLARITY Turbid ** H

and finally the chart proclaimed that her urine stank with a strange and evil smell. Her childbirth records told the same story:

R DELIVERY NOTE: Called to assess patient. Found to be 9 cm /c/o per Dr. Angelli. Foul smell noted from vaginal area upon exam. Mother refused to push when instructed; later refused not to push. Infant nose and mouth bulb suctioned. Meconium with foul smell. Placenta deliv. spontaneously, intact, mild staining, slight foul smell. Uterus firm; rectum intact. Mother in stable condition. Infant taken to CCIV. Intrauterine cocaine exposure. Baby is likely to be placed under protective custody.

Each time, Chocolate denied her cocaine addiction, and each baby was born cocaine addicted. As her chart said: Some concerns about accuracy in reporting. Somewhat open, but also grew a little irritable at times. She was tearful upon speaking of her mother’s death. Cognition was [illegible].

INDICATIONS FOR ADMISSION

RECENTLY HOSPITALIZED FOR PNEUMONIA

DRUG USAGE: Smokes cocaine x 22 years, last usage 3 days ago; 2 cigs/day x 25 years; “4 brandies/wk”

NURSE’S NOTES: Received via gurney accompanied by firemen. Rash over entire body.

WEIGHT: 179

EXAM: Hyperpigmentation and liquefication posterior neck.

SOCIAL HISTORY: Lives with “friend.” “Chore worker” since 1/10/87. All children live with sister — temporary custody. Single, unemployed, black female with 7th child. Doesn’t know where father is. Pregnancy is unplanned, but currently wants baby. Was in drug court from May 93 on. Due to stress of pregnancy and mother’s death, states she didn’t show up, so had to go to jail for 21 days. States that many of her belongings were stolen, so she has little in the way of baby clothes, etc. The longest time she has spent in jail was 1 year for possession.

SOCIAL SERVICE CONSULT — RECENT COCAINE USE — HOMELESS

NURSE’S NOTES: Patient found walking to ambulance with lower quad abdominal pain.