William Vollmann - The Royal Family

Awright, Maj, the tall man said. Want me to kick him around?

Just talk to him. You can do that well.

That Henry Tyler’s waitin’ on you.

Oh, he is? I heard he left that girl I got him.

That’s right, Maj.

All rightie. I’ll see him.

Where is she, Henry?

I don’t know. I stopped seeing her after she told me her real name.

Ah. So you stuck it out that long. Well well well. C’mere.

He came to her.

Kneel down.

He knelt.

Touch me, Henry, said the Queen. Just touch my shoulder or touch my hand. It don’t matter. Oh, you’re my sweet little baby boy. That’s right. Now close your eyes. You’re going to see that Irene you love. Close ’em tight. Now tell me what you see. You can tell me. Don’t be ashamed.

The Queen was squeezing his hand.

He saw the true Irene as a slender girl of nine, silently carrying her baby brother up and down the stairs.

You’re right, he whispered. I saw her.

She was a little girl, wasn’t she?

Yes.

You know what that means?

What, am I like Dan Smooth?

No no no. Inside, you’re little, same as her. You wanna be her friend. You wanna play with her. But you can’t, ’cause she’s dead. Ain’t that right, Henry?

Yes, he said dully.

You need to cry? You can cry in front of me if you want. Don’t mind about me.

He squeezed her hand. He said: I’m not sure I can, uh….

All right. Now close your eyes again. Here goes.

He saw perfect fish-ribs and kale amist codfish and red sauteed onions. Irene was eating with chopsticks, somewhere in the wide streets and malls of Koreatown. It was a dish called cho-rim. Now she was smiling and saying something, but it was all silent. She couldn’t see him. Her old uncles, all dead like her, smiled wearily and picked their teeth.

She’s having fish for dinner, right? said the Queen with a knowing smile.

Uh huh, said Tyler, nodding his head with an effort.

That means she’s been saved. She’s in heaven now, Henry. You don’t have to worry about her. If you see a dead person that you love, and they’re eating fish, that means they’re eating the body of Jesus. They’re gonna be okay. But you know that Irene’s not your kind, Henry. She’s a Christian girl. When she died, she left you. She never could have been with you. You know that, Henry honey? You got to know that.

Tyler’s stubbly face twitched, and a long tear began to ease out of his left eye, slowly, slowly descending his cheek. He felt no relief.

Don’t think about her too much. If you do, she gonna ache.

I—

Baby, I’m gonna ask you a question, whispered the Queen. And you don’t have to answer, ’cause I already know the answer.

Tyler began to shake and shiver.

Did you have sex with Irene, Henry? It’s okay. You can answer.

Another tear came out of him, this one burning hot.

Henry? Sweetheart, you okay? Sweetheart, did you and Irene make love?

He wept.

Listen to me, Henry, said the Queen, taking his head between her hands. Not to answer me is to deny her. You remember how Peter denied Jesus? I don’t know him, he said. Did you know Irene? Did you have carnal knowledge of Irene?

Tyler groaned. He tried to speak, but could not.

He knelt down and threw his arms around her, burying his face in her waist. Then slowly he sank down to the concrete floor, and clasping her ankles, placed his forehead on the floor. He lifted her foot and placed it on his neck with the shoeheel pressing down. She remained still. She neither withdrew her foot from him nor did she lean her weight on it. Together they listened to the squeaking of stolen shopping carts, and Justin yelling: Shut up! Strawberry screamed again and again. Kitty was silent. He gripped the Queen’s foot encouragingly, and she pressed down on his neck ever so slightly. The two of them stayed like that for a very long time and then he said to her: I am yours.

What do you want to do? she said.

I want you to…

You can tell me, she said very gently.

I want you to be my…

He was clinging to her tightly and his body was trembling.

Look at me, the Queen said so gently.

He looked her in the face.

Are you serious? she said.

I was dreaming about your breath, he said. I wanted to drink it in.

When he gave her the gold chain, she began to cry.

I love you, darling, he’d said to Irene.

Love you, too! she always used to whisper, kissing him again and again. But by the end she only palely replied: Thank you for loving me.

There was nothing pale about the Queen.

He slid his hand around the Queen’s shoulders and she got up and moved away, as he thought, but a few moments later they had come face to face and his mouth was on her mouth and her lips opened. His tongue was in her mouth. She was sucking his lips. He kissed her until his vision went black. — Thank you, Africa, he said. There was a roaring around him. All he could think of was: Oh, God. Oh, God. Thank you, God.

He stumbled away and sat down, weak. He kept whispering: Oh, God, oh, God. His heart rushed. For this alone it was worth having lived.

A small black woman came into the Wonderbar and said to Loreena: Could I please have a few napkins?

Sure, honey, said Loreena, glancing warily over her shoulder — only to find Heavyset, her boss.

It’s not like we have a lot of napkins, Heavyset said coolly, resting his elbows on a mountain of them. Give her one.

I have a cold, the black woman explained in a shy whisper. I was fixin’ to blow my nose.

Oh, Jesus, said Heavyset in disgust. Give her a paper cup. Here, nigger. Now get out.

Thank you for the napkins, sweetheart, the Queen said to Loreena. Bless you.

She glided almost silently out through the swinging doors.

Well, did you hear that! shouted Heavyset. That stinking impudent little nigger bitch!

Oh, get a grip, said Loreena.

That’s right. I forgot. Your boyfriend’s a nigger. You actually take a black schlong inside your belly. You—

Go to hell, Heavyset.

Don’t you smart off to me. I could fire you just like that. You want me to fire you? I know you were homeless before. You want to eat out of garbage cans again?

Listening to you is just like being around garbage, Loreena told him. Go ahead. Fire me. How many other girls you think you can find who will put up with your shit?

You know what? I’m gonna charge you for those napkins, said Heavyset. Those napkins cost a nickel apiece. I’m taking ten cents out of your wages.

Oh, don’t bother. Here’s a quarter, greedhead. Now, are you gonna fire me or can I go back to waiting on my customers?

I’ll credit you fifteen cents, the owner said. But I don’t want that nigger bitch coming in here again to scrounge more handouts. How often do you let her in here?

Oh, she comes and goes. Now let me go back to work, okay? This is like the nightmare shift. This is the shift from hell.

Outside, the Queen was saying: All right, Sapphire, now here’s a couple nice new napkins to wipe your mouth. Hold still, girl. What did you have to go and vomit like that for? What didn’t agree with you?

Luh-luh-luh… said the retarded girl.