“There’s no way you’ll guess, so I’ll just tell you. Your teammate, Benny Lewis, is flying in tomorrow for the game.”
The room erupts in cheers. I’m sitting there in shock, wondering why Benny didn’t let me know about this.
“Lewis has made incredible progress,” Coach goes on. “His mom told me the overseeing physician says it’s nothing short of a miracle. Anyway, I’ve been checking in with his family on a regular basis, and it was my hope that I could help to make this happen for you boys. His team of medical staff agreed to let him fly home, just for the weekend. On Sunday, he’ll return to Atlanta, because his work there certainly isn’t finished.”
Coach looks around at us for a minute before he says, “I know this has been a challenging season for y’all. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you fell apart; if you couldn’t muster the strength and courage week after week like a winning team needs to. But you did it. And I am so damn proud of each and every one of you. And I know whatever happens tomorrow night, you’re gonna make Benny proud too.
“Now let’s get out there and have a good practice. I’ll see you on the field in five.”
She wants us
back together.
“I want us to be a family again.”
Now I’m trying to tell
Erica and Josh this.
When I told them I’d
just talked to my mom,
they ushered the kids
to the playroom,
like a flock of ducklings,
then took me into the
family room.
“What did she say?”
Erica asks as I sit
back on the sofa,
trying to digest
the brief conversation.
I stare at the coffee
table, the rings left there
by glasses of juice
because kids
aren’t careful about
things like coasters.
“She wants me to come to North Carolina.
Just for a while. Then we’re going to
go back to Seattle. She wants to fight
for shared custody of Matthew.”
Josh and Erica look at
each other. I can tell they’re
not sure what to say.
“She says she needs me.
That she can’t do it without me.
I don’t know the details,
why she didn’t get shared custody
in the first place, but she said
she regrets that she didn’t fight harder.
She said she misses him.”
I stare at the rings again
and think of Andrew, Henry,
and Demi. Those are their
rings. On their table.
In their family room, where
they watch SpongeBob
and laugh, like a family does.
“And that was it?” Josh asks.
“She told me she was sorry,” I reply.
“For everything.”
Erica talks slowly.
“Lauren, it’s a big decision.
Nothing has to be decided right now.
Think on it for a while, okay?”
“But they’re my family,” I say.
“I belong with them.”
“Let me call her,” Josh says.
“I want to talk to her about this.”
I stand up. “Fine. But I’m going to pack.
I have money saved.
I’m going to buy a ticket.”
Josh stands. “Of course we’ll
help with whatever you need.
But let’s wait a few days.
You know, think on it awhile.”
I shake my head.
They don’t understand.
I can’t wait.
She might change her mind.
Benny must have wanted to surprise me. He didn’t tell me because he wanted me to be surprised along with everyone else.
Just like he wanted to surprise his mom on her birthday. He’s still the same good-hearted guy. And I can’t wait to see him. See how he’s doing. What he looks like. I keep wondering if he’ll come in a wheelchair, or if he’s able to walk by himself now. I didn’t want to ask him any of these questions on the phone. I mean, the last thing I’d want to do is make the guy feel like a failure if he isn’t able to walk yet. I have no idea what’s normal and what’s not, and from what his mom said, it sounds like there are lots of degrees of normal, anyway.
I’m kind of a wreck on Friday. Between the game looming large and the thought of getting to see my best friend for the first time in weeks, I can hardly sit still in my morning classes.
And then, as I’m heading to the cafeteria for lunch, I get a text. From a number I don’t recognize.
My mom called. I’m leaving tonight. Can I see you before I go?
Lauren
I blink a few times, reread the message over and over. At first I wonder if it’s some sort of cruel joke. I decide there’s only one way to find out.
I move into a corner of the hallway and call the number.
“Hello?”
“Lauren?”
“Hi, Colby.”
“It is you. I wasn’t sure.”
“I borrowed my aunt’s phone.”
“So it’s true? You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. Taking the red-eye tonight.”
It feels like someone’s punched me in the gut.
“I’ll be right there.”
In the winter,
the sun shines less,
the temperatures
drop, and the
geese know
it is time.
It’s not something
they consider,
as if they have a choice.
They don’t ask questions.
They don’t look around and wonder.
They don’t consult others.
It’s time,
and so they go.
They go
because it’s
what they’re
supposed to do.
She’s my mom.
He’s my brother.
I belong with them.
I’m going
because it’s
what I’m
supposed to do.
Sometimes we make choices.
Sometimes choices are made for us.
Either way, that’s life, and
we just hope for the best.
I stop at Walgreens on the way and make a mad dash around the place, getting everything I can. Then I practically fly to the McManns’, hoping the whole way I can get her to change her mind.
When I get there, I ring the bell, holding the gift bag, and wait.
Mrs. McMann opens the door and I say hello.
Her eyes look sad. “Hi, Colby. Lauren’s upstairs, packing. Come in.”
I step in, and she shuts the door behind me.
“So, she’s really leaving?” I ask.
She simply replies, “Yes.”
“Does she have to go?” I ask. “I mean, could she stay here?”
“Well, I don’t think she wants to stay here.”
“No, she does. But she thinks you guys don’t want her. I mean, not permanently, anyway.”
She’s about to respond when Lauren appears at the top of the stairs. “Hey, Colby. Come on up.”
I give Mrs. McMann a quick glance before I head up the stairs.
I start to reach out, to give Lauren a hug, but she’s already walking down the hallway. “You got here really fast. My room is down here, at the end.”
I follow her. It’s a big house. There are at least four bedrooms that we walk past.
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