Gordon Lish - Collected Fictions

Oregon.

Sacramento.

Pennsylvania.

Chelsea.

Butterfield.

Atwater.

Gramercy.

Algonquin.

Rhinelander.

Murray Hill.

Chickering.

Bryant.

Rector.

Ingersoll.

Plaza.

Lexington.

Canal.

Terrific, yes?

Terrific or terrific?

But some clog down there, I mean it.

Anyway, it's like her — it's like it's in like in a class by itself.

Also: Regent — or was it Regency?

Not to mention, I think, a Merrian or maybe it was, you know, Meridian.

I don't know.

Do you know? — Regent or Regency, etc. etc.?

Here's another one — notation of most blemishless-looking ladies guess who once had himself something to do with once.

Ann Marvel.

Norma Sinclaire.

Grace Pantano.

Christine Hasborough.

Valerie Morse.

Barbara Lish.

Plus two whose names it's too dangerous for them for me to list for you.

Plus too dangerous for me.

But, swell, one we'll call her the "the knee one," or "knees," and one "heels."

So they'll know.

Because then they'll know.

"Call the Chemique Company."

Which was for me to call to order some more KRC-7, which I am here to testify to is the most powerful brass cleaner, or cleaner of brass, you will ever get your hands on.

But better wear gloves.

Copper cleaner — cleaner of copper, too.

But the heck with it.

Never called.

Maybe the heck with ever having brass anymore — and copper, copper — ever as clean as that anymore.

Does Digby sound like one of them to anybody?

Digby 5 or Digby 7?

Except didn't they used to put them in the book like this? — D-I, not D-i.

God, am I ever going to ever anymore run into anybody anymore who could confirm for me Regent versus Regency, Merrian versus Meridian?

Or put for me into perspective for me the whole pointless glut of it for me?

Because bet you she could have.

Called her Boody.

Or she me.

Beats me from whence the practice cameth.

Or the note about Roxie Raye — as in "Roxie Raye."

Hey, what's this—"Zig-Sauer?"

So what's this Zig-Sauer doing down there?

This is the name of somebody or what?

2026 Bay State Road, Boston, which is the address of The Partisan Review , isn't it?

Ethan—"money for Ethan" — my son.

Check AARP for medical, dental rates — Metropolitan for senior-citizen ditto.

Metaleptic.

Sorry, already took care of "metaleptic," didn't I?

"Artaud's Power of Sickness."

"Huizinga, Merleau-Ponty, Husserl, Saussure."

"Redetzky's March," except I think it should have been Redetzkys' probably.

Ochlocratic.

Soteriological.

Lacustral.

Conatus.

Nimiety.

Mantic.

Limpet.

Sedge.

"Math afterward," say math afterward instead of saying aftermath.

Or at least math after.

Prelude, interlude, postlude.

It's really nice.

Don't you think it's really nice?

Prelude, interlude, postlude.

But what can compete with Amsterdam, Judson, Stuyvesant, Trafalgar, Oregon, Circle, Lackawanna, Longacre, Sacramento, Pennsylvania, Chelsea, Butterfield, Atwater, Gramercy, Algonquin, Rhinelander, Murray Hill, Chickering, Bryant, Lexington, Plaza, Rector, Ingersoll, Canal? Hey, you can't compete with that.

Oh, and "renew copyrights."

Anyway, it's a look.

They can't look — but they are trying to look — but the head, the head, they cannot get the head lifted up enough for them to look up enough for them to see you in your eyes — but they try, they are trying, and this is what it is which gives the look to have that look of it — the trying but they can't.

Too weary, too weak, too broken.

But if you never noticed it, fuck it.

Okay, am calling 431-4909.

Instant I quit this, am, okay, calling 431-4909.

Telling her just thought of Lehigh, of Hamilton, of Melrose, of Cypress, of Eldorado, of Yukon, of Oxford.

Am telling her am adding them and then am adding on top of them Schuyler and Susquehanna and Wisconsin and Talmadge.

Then Templeton and Twining.

Then Twining and Esplanade.

Telling her this is the thing of it for you to do — for you to add, to add, to always add! — not for you ever to ever, not for you anybody ever, for you ever to take anything, even one thing, away.

Like Benveniste, like Bleuler, like Watkins.

And how about Humboldt, Hamann, Herder, and — wait a minute, wait a minute! — Spring?

But maybe some of these, maybe I said — I don't know — maybe I said some of them already.

Did I already say some of them already?

Or say any of them twice?

Because I'd look back up to see if I did, but then you'd have to have to see me try.

Too weary, too weak, too broken.

Even for all of the quotation marks owed.

STORY I AM GOING TO TELL YOU is going to — had better, had better! — form itself out of the business of my telling you what I am telling you, which is forming itself — which is to say the act of telling is — out of the act of not going to bed, which is probably really a react, not an act — but go fight City Hall, wrong word, word made of noun not, you know, in form of noun!

Anyway, I don't want to go to bed.

Nobody is waiting for me in my bed.

There used to be somebody waiting for me in it — and sometimes somebody waiting for me in other beds not rivaling but resembling this bed — and maybe those beds, maybe I didn't want to go to bed in those beds, either — anybody or not waiting for me in any of them or not.

Well, waiting — was anybody ever in any of them ever really waiting for me in even one of them?

Or did I ever keep anybody in any of them waiting for me in even one of them?

These are pretty tough questions.

It stands to reason these are pretty tough questions.

Swear to God, would give it try after try at restating them and at studying on them some more on them — but beats me how else to say either one of them — besides which, it's anyway already, all of this, already getting way over my head.

My bed's my bed.

I am not against it. I harbor no grudge against my bed. I like it better than any other living space which I can think of. I would not trade you your bed for my bed even if your bed had you in it and even if you swore up and down to me it was always going to have, no questions asked, you waiting for me in it.

On the other hand, it's okay with me if you want to come wait for me in mine.

All you have to do is please send your name and address to the publisher of this book.

Oh, and another thing.

Look, so long as you are probably going to be in touch with Oakes and Robinson, could you also do this when you are?

Could you also tell them to let me know if you were anywhere around Miami Retreat in 1954, I think it was.

1954.

But I'm not positive.

The date, I mean, I'm not positive.

But don't say nobody never gave you a figure for you to work with.

So if you were anywhere around there then — Miami Retreat in the year of 1954—make sure you tell the publisher to let me know if you were.

Because I need people who know anything about me from back when it was then.

So you remember when it was then?

It was the year of 1954.

Look at it this way — haven't I been sitting here in good faith?

I have been sitting here in good faith.

Trying to do what?

Have I been trying to do something for you or do something for myself?

Who have I been trying to set you up with a little entertainment in their life?

Trying to supply you with a little needed entertainment in your life!