Ha Jin - A Map of Betrayal - A Novel

After a shot of Scotch, Bingwen got buoyant, saying he was happy to have left the countryside of Jilin province, and his health had improved some due to his work as an apprentice mason. He thanked Gary for just being alive and continuing to do some espionage work on his own, evidently motivated by his profound love for their motherland.

Caught unawares by his friend’s effusive words, Gary couldn’t answer and only chuckled out of nerves. During the last few years he’d seldom thought of his love for their motherland but had done his duty routinely.

“Now we’re a pair of mules harnessed to the same wagon. That’s why they called me back to work,” Bingwen said and lifted a spoonful of chocolate fondant to his mouth, shaking his head while chewing slowly. He also kept swilling rosé from his wineglass, its side stained with his finger marks. They’d chosen Café des Délices, a small restaurant in Tin Hau, because Bingwen missed a good French dinner, which Gary said he’d love to share with him. In fact, Gary no longer cared about food as most Chinese did, and he was conscious of this change in himself. Bingwen put down his spoon and went on, “You must take good care of yourself, brother. Your safety also means my safety. The higher-ups used me again only because you’re irreplaceable and I’m familiar with your work.”

Gary’s intelligence, accumulated during the past four years, was rich and essential. Bingwen had reviewed it before dinner and been so impressed that he told Gary, “I don’t know how much they’ll pay you for this invaluable batch, but I’ll try my best to get you a decent price.”

“Don’t bother about it,” Gary said in earnest. “I know our country is in bad shape and don’t expect to get paid. As long as my service is appreciated, I am rewarded and satisfied.”

“I will report to our leaders what you just said. Who knows? Your words might bring you some high honor.”

Contrary to Gary’s expectation, Bingwen got him four thousand dollars this time. Half the money was an equipment fund that he should have received long ago.

My nephew paid Henry fifty-four hundred dollars for the five microchips he’d bought for him. Having pulled in a one hundred percent profit, Henry was rapturous and agreed to continue to purchase stuff for Ben. I had a lot of misgivings about that but said nothing. Henry kept saying that Ben would “make it big” one of these days. I asked, “How big?” He said, “A multimillionaire.” That might just have come from his dream of getting rich. Intelligent though he was, Henry was very bad at handling money. I had to manage his paltry retirement plan for him.

One morning in mid-August, Ben called and thanked me for the articles I had mailed him. “What do you make of them?” I said.

“I knew my grandfather had done some important work for China’s intelligence service, but I had no idea he had been that prominent. These days I’ve been thinking about him a lot. Truth to tell, I used to resent him for marrying a foreign woman and living a comfortable American life, which I assumed might have been part of the reason he abandoned my grandmother. After reading the articles you sent me, I felt his life here was very sad and complicated.”

“I don’t think he loved my mother. He might have had more feelings for your grandmother. He often mentioned her in his diary. Imagine, he never saw her again after he’d left China in his mid-twenties. He dreamed of her from time to time. Once she hurt herself and was hospitalized in his dream, and that made him downcast for days. He was also amazed that she spoke English to him in his dreams.”

“She couldn’t speak a word of English!”

“I know. That shows how deep she was rooted in his consciousness.”

A lull fell between us.

Then Ben explained why he was calling: Sonya had been pregnant with his child for about two months. They’d found it out a week ago with a kit bought from a drugstore. For him the pregnancy posed two questions: whether they should keep the baby and what kind of relationship he should have with Sonya from now on. He and she couldn’t see eye to eye on giving birth to the child and had exchanged angry words. He blamed her for going off the pill secretly, while she accused him of just using her and flirting with Minmin and other Chinese women who had joined his Weibo. He suggested an abortion, which Sonya would not consider.

“That’s an awful suggestion,” I told him. “How could you do that?”

“Don’t take me to be heartless. I’m fond of children too, but these days I can’t get my grandfather’s life off my mind. I don’t want to repeat his mistake.”

“For God’s sake, what has your problem got to do with him?”

“Well, if he hadn’t started a family here or raised you, a daughter he loved, his life could have been much less tangled. He wouldn’t have felt like a divided man, as he claimed in court, saying he loved both China and the U.S.”

I was astounded, never having expected that the articles I’d sent Ben could set him thinking so deeply about Gary’s plight. “Look,” I said, “don’t ever use your grandfather as a negative reference. You have your own life to live and must do what suits you best.”

“All right, any suggestions?”

“Do you love Sonya?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Do you think you’ll be happy to sleep with her, only her, for the rest of your life?”

“Goodness, you sound as if I’m a connoisseur of women. To tell the truth, I’ve slept with only three girls to date, Sonya included. How can I say I’ll be happy with her for the rest of my life?”

“So doesn’t that mean you don’t love her enough to marry her even though she’s carrying your child?” Getting no answer from him, I continued, “I’m not blaming you. I just want to point out that you won’t be able to wash your hands of her if there’s a baby bonding the two of you.”

“I don’t intend to break up with her. I just want her to have an abortion.”

“To be honest, it doesn’t sound like you love her.”

“I do love her, but I have more important responsibilities.”

“Like what? Can you tell me?”

“I must be dedicated to my country. That’s a bigger cause than my personal well-being.”

“Bullcrap! Don’t ever let China stand in the way of your personal fulfillment or lighten your personal responsibilities. You’ve been using your country as an excuse, as a big divisor to break your guilt into small negligible pieces so you can avoid facing it.”

He didn’t seem to fully understand me and remained silent, so I shifted the topic a bit. “Does Sonya demand you marry her?”

“No, she never said anything like that.”

Ben seemed confused. I told him not to suggest anything to Sonya again. He first had to find out how she felt about their relationship and what she planned do with the baby if she kept it. Would she raise it by herself? Would she farm it out to her parents back in Ukraine if he wouldn’t marry her?

Ben feared he might not be able to get Sonya to see reason, so that evening I spoke with her on the phone. She didn’t deny that she had lied to Ben and stopped taking the pill on the sly.

“I just want to have a baby with him,” she said in a guileless voice. “I’m almost twenty-six and shouldn’t wait any longer.”

“But you shouldn’t have kept Ben in the dark to begin with.”

“I won’t become a burden to him.”

“But a child will mean a lot of responsibilities to him as well.”

“Well, I don’t see it that way. I can raise the baby by myself. Besides, even though I’m not a regular churchgoer, I believe life begins with conception and nothing’s more sacred than life.”