Albert Cossery - Laziness in the Fertile Valley

“It’s very important work,” said Serag.

“Extremely important,” said the man. “And I’m the only one who does it. There should be at least forty people to guard all this!”

Serag had a sudden inspiration. He could help the old man! That would always be a job, while he waited for them to finish the factory.

“Really, do you need help?”

“Of course I do,” said the man. “At least forty people.”

“I’d like to work with you very much,” said Serag. “What do you say?”

“You want to be a watchman?”

“Yes, I could help you guard these stones.”

“My word, you’re a strange boy! What would your mother say?”

“My mother’s dead. She wouldn’t say anything.”

“Even so, I can’t. It’s no work for you.”

“I beg you, say yes! I want to work so much!”

“Why, do they beat you at home?”

“No one beats me,” said Serag. “I want to go away. I’ve decided to work.”

“You’ll make your parents weep,” said the man. “This will be black news for them.”

The man stopped eating; he appeared to be reflecting. This boy seemed very peculiar to him. He began to suspect he had criminal intentions. Perhaps he was a thief. He wanted information so he could come back at night with his accomplices.

Serag was full of hope as he waited for the man’s decision.

“Don’t you want me?”

“No, I don’t want you,” said the man in a menacing voice. “And I advise you to leave quickly.”

Serag was alarmed; he didn’t understand.

“Why are you angry? Pardon me if I’ve bothered you!”

“Yes, you bother me. Get along and don’t come back. Or I’ll call the police!”

“The police!” said Serag, choking.

“I’ll call the police!” the man repeated.

He seized his long stick, and looked as though he might use it. He had become evil-tempered. He slobbered and some bits of chewed food rolled on to his beard. Serag hesitated a second, then left as fast as he could, without looking back.

It was over now. He would never work in the factory. His last chance had failed him. This incident with the old man had ended his illusions. He wouldn’t even be able to come look at his dream. Life would become completely monotonous and insipid without this ideal that had sustained him in his worst moments. Serag felt completely discouraged. The factory had played a prominent role in his life; he had thought of it every day, and now, suddenly, he felt lost; he no longer had a pretext to justify his inaction. From now on he wouldn’t be able to deceive himself.

He had reached the road and walked with his head down, indifferent to the harsh cries of the street vendors who passed. Some servants were doing their marketing, talking in shrill voices. He passed Abou Zeid’s shop without stopping; he was in no mood to hear his lamentations. Anyhow, Abou Zeid was sleeping, stretched out on the threshold of the shop, paying no attention to him. That was a blessing. Serag couldn’t have endured a talk with the peanut vendor. He had no new ideas for him and felt guilty. A little farther on he recognized Hoda among a group of servants standing around a lettuce cart. The young girl saw him too, and came up to him, running. She was carrying a heavy bag of groceries.

“So this is when you do your marketing,” said Serag. “You’re going to be late with lunch.”

“It isn’t my fault,” said Hoda. “The master was asleep, and I didn’t have any money. I had to wait till he woke up.”

“I’m very hungry,” said Serag. “Go on back to the house, girl.”

“I’ll go back with you,” said Hoda.

There was no way to get rid of her. Serag saw she was so happy he didn’t dare send her away. Hoda beamed with joy. She took Serag’s hand, and they walked along, hand in hand, like two lovers. Serag was embarrassed when people passed them, but he didn’t draw his hand away. He even liked to be extravagant in front of these people who knew him. Hoda looked at him and smiled.

“I want to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

“I was very proud this morning.”

“Ah! What of, foolish!”

Hoda swallowed and said very seriously:

“Before I did the marketing, I walked down the road with Imtissal’s baby. And do you know what people thought?”

“No.”

“They thought it was my baby. They smiled at the baby and looked at me with admiration. I was so proud of it!”

“You’re just a fool! What an idea! So that’s how you spend your time when you should be taking care of the house.”

“I’m not a fool. I’ve grown up. You’re the one who doesn’t understand anything.”

She let go of Serag’s hand and walked alone, pouting.

You’re going away and leave me all alone!” said Hoda.

“Yes. I’m going to the city. I can’t stay in this house any longer.”

That morning, Serag had resolved to leave for the city. Since he had lost the hope of working at the factory, there had been an immense void in his life. He had to fill that void. His visits to the unfinished factory had made him feel he was performing heroic deeds; he had drawn a certain moral strength from them. But now that this chimera had vanished completely, he found himself drawn toward sleep. He couldn’t resist it anymore. Fatally, he was letting himself be overcome by an inexorable idleness. His family’s listlessness was poisoning him more every day. Thus he had decided to leave as soon as possible. A few more days and he wouldn’t have the strength to try.

“You won’t do it,” said Hoda. “You’ll make me so unhappy!”

“Be quiet, foolish! Go do your work!”

“Where are you going? By Allah, you’ll get lost!”

“It’s none of your business.”

He was standing near the window, trying to be stern. He felt this obstinate girl would weaken him; love was even worse than sleep. It was going to be harder than he had realized. He shouldn’t have said anything to her. Now she would arouse the whole house.

He heard her whimpering and turned around.

“Now don’t start crying!”

She wiped her eyes and came up to him, her hands out, imploring him.

“Stay here! Don’t go away!”

“Be quiet, you daughter of a whore! They’ll hear you and come to devil me too. I’m sorry I told you I was leaving.”

“Then take me with you.”

“You’re mad! I’m not going to load myself down with a girl like you. I have to look for work.”

“You can’t work. I know you. I’ll work for you!”

“Don’t be stupid! I’d do anything to leave this house.”

She realized he had really decided to go, and was panic stricken. How could she stop him from leaving? She only knew the temptations of the flesh. A faint hope rose in her. Her smile was malicious.

“If you leave, you won’t be able to make love to me.”

“I don’t want to. Who told you I wanted to make love to you? I’ve other things to do, can’t you understand?”

“That’s not true!”

She pressed against him, trying to excite him. But he seemed weary and distant; he pushed her away brutally.

“Get out! Leave me alone!”

Hoda fell on the bed, a little stunned by the blow. But she wasn’t through; she was ready to do anything to hold him. Scarcely moving her hand, she raised her dress, completely uncovering her thighs. She spread her legs and waited. The silence was agonizing. She saw him looking at her with a distant, tired stare. She trembled with fear and passion.

“You don’t want me?”

He seemed out of his head; he didn’t understand what she meant. He murmured in a desperate voice:

“No, I don’t want you. I want to leave.”

She pulled down her dress and got up. She was furious and ready to cry again.