Lola Smirnova - Twisted

Then, ‘Would you like to have a drink, Victoria?’ he asks, with care. ‘Yes please – the same as you,’ I answer and my eyes lock, again, onto the big plate.

I cannot help it! That’s exactly what my tortured nerves need tonight…

Within a few minutes we are settled on the couch, holding our frosted whisky glasses. A few gulps later, I am pressed into the backrest, Murat’s possessive hand searching under my skirt while his confused jelly tongue wanders inside my mouth.

Urgh! I guess if he could kiss properly, there would be some devoted girlfriend next to him instead of me right now…

To endure these moments of sharp displeasure or disgust, I’ve learned to disconnect my brain from my body. I imagine, for example, that my mouth is not a part of my body any more. It helps me to fight the natural urge to tense my muscles and the impulse to push the sponger away from me.

Luckily the ‘kiss’ doesn’t last long and Murat finally proposes, in a sweet and courteous manner, that I take a hit. I do not hesitate and drown myself in the feeling that starts off pleasantly numb then grows into a stream of energy and sexual arousal.

He pulls me off the couch and drags me into the bedroom. There, he throws me onto the bed, and tears off our clothes, giving me just a second to roll the rubber onto his erection. He lets me do it but I notice the displeasure on his face. It reminds me again about Inna’s compromise number one.

The kid crawls on top of me, resting his forehead on the pillow, and starts banging me – thrusting and digging my slit, allegretto furioso , [20] Italian, music term: allegretto , meaning a moderately fast tempo; furioso , meaning an angry and furious way of playing. as deep as he can go. I have no choice but to stare at the white ceiling.

I don’t know how much time has passed, but my pussy is completely dry now and starts to hurt. The euphoria from the coke has vanished, shifting to an annoying drowsiness and irritation. I wait and wait, dreaming of him coming and us snorting some more. But no – no such luck.

‘Let me fuck you without rubber! I am clean, you can trust me!’ Murat’s passionate jabber draws me away from the chandelier. ‘I am sorry, it’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t fuck without condoms,’ I answer, trying to sound congenial but with firmness in my voice.

He moans in frustration, lifts me up, turns me onto all fours, and, even more vigorously, begins to fuck me from behind. Some indefinite time later, which feels like forever, I realise what the phrase ‘to fuck the shit out of someone’ means.

Eventually he gets tired, and flabbily falls on top of my back. Wetting me all over with his sweat, he presses me flat into the mattress.

‘ Aşkım! ’ [21] Turkish, ‘My love!’ he starts again, rolling the worn-out condom off his still-hard dick. ‘I beg you, let me come,’ he continues, fidgeting his erection against my ass.

‘I am sorry, I can’t,’ I say, pumping even more strictness into my voice.

He sighs and stays silent for some time, and then starts again… he says the same words over and over, ignoring my rejection, topping up his speech with new, stupid arguments.

‘I will have you for the night and tip you well… we’ll have some more fun with the nose candy… please, Victoria… I am not sick…’ He goes on and on, pretending not to hear my response.

Then, Murat starts slowly pushing his dick between my legs. After his annoying, non-stop efforts, I’m too tired to resist. I want it to be over, and ‘his way’ definitely seems to be the easiest. Yet I hold my muscles tight, showing my resolution. I know he is not going to force me. He is just waiting for me to give up. It is up to me to decide and I am definitely not going to change my mind…

Arghhh!

But if I resist, he will be displeased, and I will have to get up, dress and go home with no tip or money for the cab. I will be stressed, instead of having fun with my white-dust friend, which I deserve more than ever now.

I am tired. So fucking tired.

I let him in…

The painful strike into my genitalia wakes me. Murat is already on top of me, treating his morning erection with my dry, still-sleeping pussy. I groan and close my eyes again – it is too late for me to object and insist on him wearing a condom anyway. I turn my gloomy face away from his smelly morning breath, trying to brush away my thoughts of last night’s surrender, which are not helping to cheer up the morning.

The stream of warm sperm that sprinkles all over my belly interrupts me from bitching at myself and finally frees me from Murat’s heavy weight.

Thank God he is at least thoughtful enough not to come inside me.

He jumps up off the bed, too energetically for a person who’s consumed and fucked for most of the night – I can’t even lift my eyelids.

‘Get up, Victoria!’ His voice wakes me up. I probably fell asleep again without even wiping the now dried come off my body. ‘There’s coffee on the table. Please hurry up, beautiful, I have to go to work.’

Fifteen minutes later I am sitting in a taxi on the way home with $200 ($75 of which belongs to my pimp), a dry mouth that tastes like I have being drinking vinegar all night, and an agonising conscience that sours the taste in my mouth even more disgustingly.

When I get back home, Inna is still sleeping. I take a quick shower and quietly crawl under the blanket, grabbing her computer. I open my mailbox and find an email from Lena.

Hi my little Poppy-seed

How are you doing? Hope everything is going well with you.

A warm, silent stream of tears covers my cheeks. I stop reading to wipe them off. I feel so lonely and vulnerable. It has been only four days, but it feels like I’ve been gone for ages.

We finally received our contracts from France and are ready to go to the embassy. Next week we are off to Kiev to do the applications. It shouldn’t take more than a day or two. As soon as we get our visas, we are flying to Paris, and then going to Nimes in the south of France by train.

The business is picking up. Nata and I are advertising the salon. For the last three days we’ve been giving out brochures on the streets for a 10 per cent discount on all kinds of haircuts. We’ve handed out close to a thousand each! I feel exhausted, but you know our big sister, she wouldn’t get off my back until we were done.

Mom is getting used to being a ‘big boss’ and now she can take care of almost everything on her own. Fast learner! Not like me.

I am so excited about the France trip and so sad you are not coming with us. We all miss you. Please, please, please be careful – and email me as often as you can!

Love you xxx

I quickly type a short reply, saying that I am fine and miss all of them very much too, and drift off into a deep but troubled sleep.

Alexandra was right. I am quite a busy call girl. Thin and blonde – nothing else matters! For some reason, Turkish men love to fuck skinny, bleached women, regardless of their boob size or looks.

So here I am, after two weeks of elbow grease, still in my pajamas at 4 p.m., sitting on the bed and counting how much money I’ve made so far. Inna is out on duty – our whoremaster-employer phoned her two hours ago. She quickly geared up and left. It feels so comfortingly pleasant to have the place to myself for a few hours. I enjoy these moments of privacy and even loneliness a lot – I can soak myself in my thoughts as much as I want.