Stephen Dixon - What Is All This? - Uncollected Stories

I don’t think more than two dozen or so people could have stood, sat, crouched and lain around my door and still have been able to reach it to knock. Though about three dozen people could have lain on their stomachs on top of one another in five or six even piles facing the door and knocked that way in whatever combinations they’d decided on beforehand and in all the right proportions to one another so it wouldn’t come out sounding like anything more than one person’s double knock.

And I suppose some four dozen or so people could have fit around my door to knock on it if about three dozen of them had lain in those five or six piles and the fourth dozen of them had suspended themselves from the ceiling around the door and had themselves fastened to the walls on the sides and above the door and to the ceiling upside down above the door. But all of these people facing the door or at least within a knock’s reach of the door. And every workable numerical possibility of these four dozen or so people knocking on my door, and whichever proportion of knocking they chose, or perhaps someone standing behind the piles but not in reach of the door, chose for them. Though in the end their knocks on my door, directed or not directed in any way by someone else, sounding like two normal knocks in quick succession by one person: knock knock, not much more than that.

For instance, the double knock I heard could have been done by two of those four dozen or so people making the first knock, each holding back the force of his knock to about a twenty-fourth of a normal knock, which could be possible, or something close to it, if well worked out beforehand. Followed right away by each of the second two dozen or so people knocking his one twenty-fourth of a knock. With perhaps both these knocks having to be made up in force by one to a few knockers for what some to many of the knockers lacked. Or even reduced in force by some to many or almost all the knockers if one to a few of the other knockers couldn’t learn to hold the force of their knock to even a half. But in the end the sound coming from these five to six piles and the dozen or so people hanging from the ceiling and fastened to the ceiling and walls would be that of one person’s normal double knock on my door.

Or all five or six piles around the door could have knocked the first knock, each person in each pile holding back the force of his knock to the fraction of the fifth or sixth of the total single knock allowed each pile if they want to make it sound like the first half of one person’s normal double knock. And then two persons from the same or different piles could have knocked on the door at the same time for the second knock, each holding back the force of his knock to about half a normal knock.

Or the double knock I heard could have been done by one person suspended above the door while the forty-seven or so other people looked on. Or even while all forty-seven or so slept, or half of them slept and a quarter of them looked on and the fourth quarter of them had their hands raised in knocking position in front of the door but didn’t knock.

Or one person fastened to the wall above the door could have knocked once, followed by a person at the bottom or top or squeezed somewhere inside one of the piles knocking the second knock with one or both hands, and if the latter, holding back the force of each hand’s knock to about half.

Or out of the four dozen or so people it could have been ten who knocked at the same time for the first knock. Five of them from one to five piles knocking with both hands and four of them hanging from the ceiling knocking with one hand and another person fastened to the wall knocking with one hand or even a foot. Though each person holding back the force of each hand’s knock or that knock from a foot to about a fifteenth of a normal knock, or as near as possible to that. And for the second knock, a dozen or so people from any of the positions around the door could have knocked with both hands, or if they were fastened to the wall or hanging from the ceiling, with both feet or even a foot and hand. But each person holding back the force of each hand’s knock or knocks from his feet or knock from his foot to make the sound of about a twenty-fourth of a hand’s normal knock, which even with a lot of practice would only be barely possible. Or at least holding back the total force of both knocking hands or feet or hand and foot to make the sound of about a twelfth of a hand’s normal knock, with perhaps one hand or foot making up or holding back a little to a lot for what the other hand or foot of the same body lacked in force or gave too hard.

Or the double knock I heard could have been made by three hanging and fastened people while the forty-five or so other people looked on or slept or spoke with their hands or silently with their lips or had their hands or feet in position to knock. But each of these three people knocking two hands and a foot against the door or two feet and a hand against the door, and all knocking at once and each of them holding back the force of his knock from his hands and foot or feet and hand to about a ninth of the sound of a hand’s normal knock. Or at least holding back the total force of each of his triple knocks to about a third of the sound of a hand’s normal knock.

It’s also possible that someone, hanging freely by the chest in a sling or fastened to the wall at the waist with his limbs free, could have knocked that double knock, or the first or second part of it, with both hands and feet at the same time. Or even with his hands and a foot and head or feet and a hand and head, though holding back the force of each of whatever four of these five body parts he’s using to make the sound of about a quarter of a hand’s normal knock. Or at least controlling the total force of the knock from four of these five body parts, to make the sound of a hand’s normal knock.

I don’t think it’s possible that anyone could have been that coordinated to knock four of these five body parts on my door at the same time and still have been able to not only hold back the force of each of these four parts or control the total force of their combined knock, but to also make up or reduce in force for what a few to the rest of the people knocking might have lacked or given too hard in their share of the knock.

The knocking of more than any four body parts from the same person at the same time I don’t think anyone could have done and still have been able to control even the total force of the knock from these five body parts.

More than four dozen or so people I don’t think could have fit around my door to knock on it. Unless an additional two dozen or so people had stood on ladders and chairs behind the people lying in piles and used long sticks which, when struck against the door, made the sound of a hand knocking. But these two dozen or so people would probably have only been able to reach the door with their sticks if the people hanging from the ceiling in front of the door had raised themselves to make room for the sticks. But not raised themselves that high where they now couldn’t reach the door with any of their body parts including the elbow, buttock, shoulder or knee, or where they also interfered in the knocking movements of the people fastened to the wall. Though some of these hanging people could still have been able to knock on the door, even if they had raised their bodies out of reach of it, if they had used long sticks. And those fastened people now blocked from the door by the hanging people, who had raised themselves in front of them to make room for the sticks of the people on ladders and chairs, could still have knocked on the door if they had used curved sticks.

So it’s possible that the first part of the double knock I heard could have been made by all two dozen or so people on ladders and chairs, each holding back the force of his stick to make the sound of about a twenty-fourth of a hand’s normal knock, or as close as possible to that. Followed right after by a few people on ladders and chairs knocking one or two sticks apiece on the door, along with several hanging and fastened people and some from the piles knocking from one to three of their body parts on the door. But each person in this second knock holding back the force of whatever body part and stick or other thing he might be using to the closest possible fraction of the total number of body parts and things being knocked on the door at the same time to make the sound of a single hand knock. Or at least holding back the total force of the number of things he’s using to make the sound of about an eighth or twelfth of a normal knock, if let’s say he’s knocking two or three things on the door at once and the total number of things being knocked on the door at the same time is twenty-four. And with some to many of the knockers making up or reducing in force for what from many to one of the other knockers might lack or give too hard. But no more than twenty-four body parts and things being used at the same time for that first or second knock, as I don’t think anyone, if he’s only knocking with one body part or thing, can control the force of his knock to make the sound of more than around a twenty-fourth of a hand’s normal knock. And no more than three things being used by a person for either knock, as I don’t think anyone can control the sound of the knocking of more than three things at once if more than one person is knocking at the same time. And whichever way around each of these six dozen or so people wanted to knock on my door. Or someone in or out of the hallway wanted them to knock on my door. Or which the majority or even the entire six dozen or so people had chosen by voice vote or ballot before they came into the hallway, or by some kind of silent signal once they got into the hallway. Or their previously selected representatives had chosen for them by voice vote or ballot outside the hallway, or by signaling or ballot inside the hallway once these six dozen or so people were set up in their positions around my door. Or some person or couple or group had told them outside the hallway some way, or told them inside the hallway in some silent way, not only how to knock, and how many times to knock, and the reason or reasons why they should knock, but even the reason or reasons why they had to practice and where they had to practice to knock. But in the end, the sound from all the body parts and things being used by all the people who knocked on my door would be that of two knocks in quick succession by the hand of one person: knock knock, like that.