Stephen Dixon - What Is All This? - Uncollected Stories

She goes. I take off my shirt and hang it on a hook. My pants and shorts on a different hook and then my shoes and socks. I look in the mirror. I flatten my hair back, fold my arms, sit on the bed. The room is mostly this single bed against the wall. No window. Bucket of water and a stool with a folded towel on it. She comes back with a basin of water.

“Got some warmer water for you. And soap. They seem to have none here.”

“I don’t see any. By the way, you mentioned half and half. What is it?”

“Half blow job, half screw. You want that?”

“Sure. Is there anything else I can get?”

“Nothing I give. Come here.” I walk over to her “Hold the pan.” I hold the pan. She drops the soap in the water, takes my penis in one hand and starts washing it, “Wait a minute, we got a problem. This thing won’t fit in me. I should’ve asked you to undress before I got the water, but this thing isn’t even semi-erect yet.” She drops my penis.

“What do I do?”

“Whatever you do, you’re not going in me. I’m sorry, but I got some more working to do today and I’m not the biggest girl in the world, know what I mean? You want me to just blow you, that’s something different, but not if it’s going to take too long.”

“I want the other thing too.”

Then pick one of the other girls who looks bigger.” She puts the soap on the stool, takes the basin from me and dumps the water into the bucket. She pulls my ticket out from inside her shoe, where I never saw her put it, and gives me it.

“Listen, how can I tell who’s bigger than who, because I don’t want to run into the same problem?”

“Anyone older than me and with a bigger behind’s usually good. Just any of them then, because you see I’m too slight. Use that towel. Sorry. Bye.” She leaves with the basin.

I dry myself, get dressed and go back to the lobby. “I still have my ticket,” I say to the woman behind the desk, showing it.

“I know. Let me come around.” She lets me in. Most of the women look at me when I walk in and then resume talking.

The man with the sunglasses and coat is still there smiling.

There’s a new woman, in purple shorts and red T-shirt, but I can only see a little of her face. I change benches so I can get a good look at her. She’s cute: small nose, little eyes and pouty lips. She looks at me, smiles nicely, and then looks back at her shoes. Another woman has a gorgeous figure I see when she stands up and looks at me and winks. But her hair’s bleached platinum and looks like it’d feel like straw. And she’s chewing gum very hard and snapping it, and I don’t like hair like that or the sound or smell of chewing gum. Some other time, because of her great body, I might choose her if I ever come back here, which I think I will. It seems fair, reasonably clean, no hustle, and the women are attractive and mostly young. But now I want someone who seems as if she almost doesn’t want to be chosen and who at least has the appearance of being modest, like the one in purple shorts. I go over to her and hold out my ticket.

She looks up. “Oh yeah, I forgot,” she says, and laughs. “My mind was lost somewhere.” She takes my ticket and says “Over here,” and I follow her to a room right off this one. It’s three times as large as the first one and has a dresser, chair, sink, window with drapes over it, bathroom mirror screwed to the wall and the same single bed. “Take off your clothes. Water in the sink takes too long to get warm and I want to wash you, so I’ll be right back.”

“You’re not going to believe this…”

“What?”

“Forget it; it’s ridiculous.”

“No, what? I want to know,”

“I’m already very clean.”

“Everyone’s very clean, honey, but everyone’s got to be washed. Only way I know if you are is when I do it myself, okay?”

“Fine.”

She leaves. I take off my clothes and sit on the bed. There’s stirring behind the wall with the mirror. I stand and look in the mirror and see myself and also some kind of movement behind it. The movement stops but there’s still an outline of a head with lots of hair around it, like the woman has. I sit in the chair and cross my legs and keep my eyes on a different wall than the mirror’s. I don’t want her thinking I’m suspicious in any way she’d think wasn’t normal, as I don’t want to be asked to leave if that’s what they do when they’re suspicious of you.

She comes in with a basin of water with a bar of soap in it. “Sorry I took so long. Could you stand so I can get you washed?”

“Want me to hold the pan?”

“Sure, honey, that’ll be as good as my resting it on the chair.”

I hold the pan and she washes and dries my penis. I put the pan on the chair. She takes off her shoes and shorts and I lie on the bed.

“Make some room for me, honey.”

“Excuse me.” I slide close to the wall. She sits on the edge of the bed.

“What do you want?” she says.

“Is there anything besides half and half?”

“Sure, plenty. Want me to fly you around the world?”

“What’s that?”

“I suck you all the way around, ass and cock. You never had it, it’s great.”

“Do I get to come in you?”

“For ten dollars more. Without coming in me it’s only five dollars more.”

“What else is there besides that?”

“Sixty-nine. That’ll cost you five more. But there you also get to come inside me. If you want to stick it in my ass that’s another ten dollars no matter what else we do or where you come in me, because that one takes a little longer and isn’t the easiest to do.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“I can give you a quarter fly around the world for five dollars more where you also come in me.”

Thanks, but I think I’d just like half and half.”

She takes off her shirt, lies across my chest and holds my penis and stares at it. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

This stuff leaking out of you. I don’t like the looks of it. Sure you don’t have something?”

“Positive. It’s probably just come.”

“I hope so.” She wipes the tip with her fingers and puts my penis in her mouth. I play with her nipple. Her eyes are closed while she’s doing it. About two minutes later she sits up, wipes her mouth with her wrist, gets on her back and opens her legs. I get on top of her and only go a little ways in.

“Push in all the way, honey. You’re not doing us any good hanging outside.”

“I thought we’d play with each other a little till we’re both ready.”

“Why do we got to play? You’re ready, I’m ready, come on.” I go all the way in, grab her head, shoulders, back of her neck.

“It’d help if you moved a little too,” I say.

“I will. I just wanted to make sure you were settled.” She moves. I come.

I get out before she gives me any sign I should and roll over on my side.

That was quick,” she says.

“I guess it’s been a long time.”

“Yeah? If you want, for another five, you can do it again if you think you can be quick.”

“I don’t know if I can do it that fast again.”

“How long you think you need?”

“If I take an eight-minute rest or so and then you play with me a little, maybe a total of fifteen minutes.”

That’s too long for another five. For another ten I’ll wait the eight minutes with you here before we start again.”

“I don’t even think I can guarantee anything that fast. I better just forget it.”

“Next time don’t wait so long to come here, okay? Then you won’t have to do it so fast and can get more out of it.” She gets off the bed. I do too. Cleans herself with a washrag and sink water and says “Don’t you want to wash yourself too?”