Ahmet Tanpinar - The Time Regulation Institute

Slowly I pushed my way through the crowd. I left with the intention of finding my wife and our dear guest. But to my surprise, I discovered a new scene unfolding around the jazz group in the other room. And once again our family had taken the lead. In the middle of the room I saw my younger sister-in-law dancing frantically with a young American. Better put, the torture and cruelty they were inflicting on each other in the name of dance knew no limits. She’d taken off her shoes and socks — didn’t she think she was short enough already? — and with one hand in her partner’s and the other holding up her skirt, she was bouncing up and down furiously on the varnished floor (the carpets had been pushed aside). And now she had collapsed on the floor, but before I could race to her rescue, she bounced back up to her feet, threw her arms around her chaperone, thrust her belly about in the most bizarre manner, and thrashed an invisible enemy with her head before throwing herself to the floor again.

Oh, my oh my. What heedlessness on my part! And I thought I knew my wife’s family. Oh, these miserable creatures were nearly bursting with their imprisoned talents! And how little I knew my wife! I might as well have been blind. The poor woman was foolish and absentminded because she’d lived such a constrained life. Wasn’t it just the same for everyone? The city’s most renowned jazz group struggled to keep pace with my younger sister-in-law. It seemed like the drummer had nine hands, but no matter how frenzied his handwork he still lagged behind. In the other room, my older sister-in-law had half the city gathered around her and was leading a wild hora dance from the Black Sea. Suddenly my wife had become the world’s most gracious hostess: I’d had no idea she could converse with a man with such aplomb.

My aunt gestured to me from across the room, and with tremendous difficulty I made my way over to her through the crowd. In her old ghostlike voice, she said:

“You silly man, you’ve seen your sister-in-law? Now that’s what I call a human being! And your wife! Shame on you indeed!”

“Yes, you’re right, Auntie. How could I have married anyone better?”

“Come now, you weasel. Just admit that you have good luck. If you’d had a real choice in the matter, who knows what kind of miserable creature you might have married.”

“My wife, well, yes, all right, then. But what about my daughter? How do you find her?”

She stared at me.

“If God doesn’t grant me the opportunity to spend all my money before I croak, I swear I’ll leave what’s left to her! You understand?”

Halit Ayarcı came over to us and said:

“I just looked in on Dr. Ramiz. He’s sleeping like a baby.”

“Is he alone?” I asked.

“Oh no,” he replied. “He’s with his chosen one. Everything’s going well. Let’s go have a drink!”

We went back to the bar. But no one was there. Still, we managed to find a server who opened a bottle for us. To the detriment of my daughter’s inheritance, my aunt ordered a caviar sandwich. No fortune could keep pace with such extravagance. “She’ll crawl back to us and expire in my arms,” I mumbled to myself. Turning to Halit Ayarcı, I asked:

“Do you think those jewels are real?”

“Of course, but those aren’t the important ones,” he said. “They are in the bank. It’s an incredible fortune really, but don’t worry. It won’t be too easy for her to go through it so quickly.”

Then he changed the subject.

“You managed it all quite well really.”

I suddenly lost my head.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” I cried. “Am I forever to be forced into situations not of my own making?”

He looked at me, smiling.

“My dear friend,” he said. “My poor dear friend! But really I should say poor me! For I am in fact the one to be pitied in this affair. I have just now managed to find a way to express my good intentions. You should have come to understand at least some of this by now. There’s no one here forcing you to play a role. And there are no faits accomplis. There is only a man who respects you and who believes in you. I only want you to accept my dreams as second nature. If I were to inform you in advance, I would infringe on your personal freedom. Only then would you indeed be playing a part. But when the evening began, you had no more idea of what might happen, in much the same way that you don’t know whom you might bump into when you head out into the street. So you came tonight not knowing quite what to expect, and we have lived through all this together. There’s nothing forced about it.”

“But I might have put a foot wrong, and everything would have been ruined.”

He let out a laugh.

“And, so what if you had? In such circumstances there’s no such thing as a mistake. Don’t forget that! Imagine that indeed you had committed an error! We’d simply shift from there toward the truth. Mistakes only exist for those foolish enough to try to fix them. But we are different! Once we have accepted an error, we rise above it. But, no, Hayri Bey, oh no, there’s no such thing as a mistake and there never will be. It’s all a matter of solid preparation and faith in man’s potential. I am well aware of your powers, for I was the one who discovered you!”

What did he mean by that?

He refilled our glasses and downed his in one gulp.

“Managing people is incredibly difficult and it takes time. The important thing is to set the stage. Humans then live what they have been given. The trick is to give humankind a chance to be creative. I don’t like the theater. I am a man who likes life to unfold naturally!”

“Didn’t you tell anyone here what they were to do tonight?”

“Of course I may have made a few hints to a few. You were sleeping. Then Van Humbert came, so I simply said that you were in a conference and would be coming along soon. The rest happened all on its own. Look, if there’s anything that’s difficult in all this, it’s choosing the right people. And there you’re absolutely right — I always pick a good team!”

“No, if nothing else, you were wrong in choosing me, because I don’t believe in what we’re doing. You know this all too well. And I’m suffering for it.”

“That’s all the better! This is precisely why every step you take, every move you make, is a success. Instead of behaving like all the others — like automatons — you live your life like a man made of flesh and blood!”

At this point Pakize came in alone.

“Where’s our guest, then?” I asked.

“With Zehra. I left him in her hands. She’s teaching him how to dance the zeybek . I’ll just have a drink, and then we’ll go and watch!”

Refreshed drinks in hand, we went off to do just that. Now, this was a spectacle beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. It was nature stripped bare. The jazz group had struck up a feverish zeybek. And in the middle of the room, where my sister-in-law had just been displaying her talents, my daughter and Van Humbert were performing the strangest and most unfathomable zeybek I had ever seen. All around them were wide-eyed with shock. And for a while we watched Van Humbert’s arms dangling awkwardly in the air as he bent down on one knee and struggled to his feet again.

Halit Ayarcı whispered softly into my ear:

“Now this is something else.”

I was the chairman of the most spectacular family in the world. With this thought in mind, I nudged my wife, getting even with her for her flirtatious elbow jabs earlier.

Then Halit Ayarcı added:

“What do you think? Does it meet your approval? Set aside paternal pride — aren’t you astounded by the success of our women? Did you ever even dream of witnessing such a scene?”