J. Coetzee - The Childhood of Jesus

‘The boy certainly has a lively imagination,’ Eugenio muses. ‘Floating islands. But he will grow out of it. It must come out of longstanding feelings of insecurity. One can’t help noticing how highly strung he is, how agitated he gets for no reason at all. Is there a history behind it, do you know? Did his parents fight a lot?’

‘His parents?’

‘His real parents. Does he carry some scar, some trauma from the past? No? Never mind. Once he begins to feel more secure in his surroundings, once it begins to dawn on him that the universe — not just the realm of numbers but everything else too — is ruled by laws, that nothing happens by chance, he will come to his senses and settle down.’

‘That is what his school psychologist said. Señora Otxoa. Once he finds his feet in the world, once he accepts who he is, his learning difficulties will disappear.’

‘I’m sure she is right. It will just take time.’

‘Perhaps. Perhaps. But what if we are wrong and he is right? What if between one and two there is no bridge at all, only empty space? And what if we, who so confidently take the step, are in fact falling through space, only we don’t know it because we insist on keeping our blindfold on? What if this boy is the only one among us with eyes to see?’

‘That is like saying, What if the mad are really sane and the sane are really mad? It is, if you don’t mind my saying so, Simón, schoolboy philosophizing. Some things are simply true. An apple is an apple is an apple. An apple and another apple make two apples. One Simón and one Eugenio make two passengers in a car. A child doesn’t find statements like that hard to accept — an ordinary child. He doesn’t find them hard because they are true, because from birth we are, so to speak, attuned to their truth. As for being afraid of the empty spaces between numbers, have you ever pointed out to David that the number of numbers is infinite?’

‘More than once. There is no last number, I have told him. The numbers go on for ever. But what has that to do with it?’

‘There are good infinities and bad infinities, Simón. We talked about bad infinities before — remember? A bad infinity is like finding yourself in a dream within a dream within yet another dream, and so forth endlessly. Or finding yourself in a life that is only a prelude to another life which is only a prelude, et cetera. But the numbers aren’t like that. The numbers constitute a good infinity. Why? Because, being infinite in number, they fill all the spaces in the universe, packed one against another tight as bricks. So we are safe. There is nowhere to fall. Point that out to the boy. It will reassure him.’

‘I will do so. But somehow I do not think he will be comforted.’

‘Don’t misunderstand me, my friend. I am not on the side of the school system. I agree, it sounds very rigid, very old-fashioned. In my view, there is much to be said for a more practical, more vocational kind of schooling. David could learn to be a plumber or a carpenter, for instance. You don’t need higher mathematics for that.’

‘Or for stevedoring.’

‘Or for stevedoring. Stevedoring is a perfectly honourable occupation, as both of us know. No, I agree with you: your youngster is getting a raw deal. Nevertheless, his teachers do have a point, don’t they? It is not just a matter of following the rules of arithmetic but of learning to follow rules in general. Señora Inés is a very nice lady, but she does spoil the child excessively, anyone can see that. If a child is continually indulged and told he is special, if he is allowed to make up the rules for himself as he goes, what kind of man will he grow up to be? Perhaps a little discipline at this stage of his life won’t do young David any harm.’

Though he feels the greatest goodwill towards Eugenio, though he has been touched by his readiness to befriend an older comrade as well as by his many kindnesses, though he does not blame him at all for the accident at the docks — hustled behind the controls of a crane, he himself would have done no better — he has never found it in his heart actually to like the man. He finds him prim and blinkered and self-important. His criticism of Inés makes him bristle. Nonetheless, he holds his temper in check.

‘There are two schools of thought, Eugenio, on the upbringing of children. One says that we should shape them like clay, forming them into virtuous citizens. The other says that we are children only once, that a happy childhood is the foundation of a happy later life. Inés belongs to the latter school; and, because she is his mother, because the bonds between a child and his mother are sacred, I follow her. Therefore no, I do not believe that more of the discipline of the schoolroom will be good for David.’

They drive on in silence.

At the East Blocks he asks the driver to wait while Eugenio helps him out of the car. Together they slowly make their way up the stairs. Emerging onto the second-floor corridor, they are greeted by a dismaying sight. Outside Inés’s apartment stand two persons, a man and a woman, in identical dark blue uniform. The door is open; from within comes the sound of Inés’s voice, high-pitched, angry. ‘No!’ she is saying. ‘No, no, no! You have no right!’

What prevents the strangers from entering — he sees as they approach — is the dog, Bolívar, who crouches at the threshold, ears flattened, teeth bared, growling softly, watching their every move, ready to leap.

‘Simón!’ Inés calls out to him, ‘Tell these people to go away! They want to take David back to that awful reformatory. Tell them they have no right!’

He draws a deep breath. ‘You have no rights over the boy,’ he says, addressing the uniformed woman, small and neat as a bird, in contrast to her rather heavy-set companion. ‘I was the one who brought him here to Novilla. I am his guardian. I am in all respects that matter his father. Señora Inés’ — he gestures towards Inés — ‘is in all respects his mother. You do not know our son as we do. There is nothing wrong with him that needs to be corrected. He is a sensitive boy who has certain difficulties with the school curriculum — nothing more than that. He sees pitfalls, philosophical pitfalls, where an ordinary child would not. You cannot punish him for a philosophical disagreement. You cannot take him away from his home and his family. We will not allow it.’

His speech is followed by a long silence. From behind her watchdog, Inés glares belligerently at the woman. ‘We will not allow it,’ she repeats at last.

‘And you, señor?’ asks the woman, addressing Eugenio.

‘Señor Eugenio is a friend,’ he, Simón, intervenes. ‘He has kindly accompanied me from the hospital. He is not part of this imbroglio.’

‘David is an exceptional child,’ says Eugenio. ‘His father is devoted to him. I have seen that with my own eyes.’

‘Barbed wire!’ says Inés. ‘What kind of delinquents do you have in your school that you need barbed wire to keep them in?’

‘The barbed wire is a myth,’ says the woman. ‘A complete fabrication. I have no idea how it originated. There is no barbed wire at Punto Arenas. On the contrary, we have —’

‘He walked through the barbed wire!’ Inés interrupts, raising her voice again. ‘It tore his clothes to shreds! And you have the cheek to say there is no barbed wire!’

‘On the contrary, we have an open-door policy,’ the woman presses on gamely. ‘Our children are free to come and go. There are not even locks on the doors. David, tell us truthfully, is there barbed wire at Punto Arenas?’

Now that he looks more closely, he can see that the boy has been present throughout this altercation, half obscured behind his mother, listening solemnly, his thumb in his mouth.