John Casey: Compass Rose

He ran his hand through his hair again. Her eyes followed his gold wedding ring. Had he taken it off when he was with Elsie Buttrick? She took a breath and blew it out. She’d asked all the questions she was going to.

A cedar closet. A mudroom addition. A garden shed. A garden shed that would stand where Dick’s big wood-frame-and-canvas shed had stood — where Dick had built his boat. It was parts of that shed that the hurricane had blown into the back of the house. Was he through with Elsie Buttrick by the time the hurricane hit?

May knew she had to quit asking for things. She didn’t know if she was making sure of Dick or paying him back.

She wished to forgive him. That was still a ways from forgiving him.

Eddie climbed back down from the cab of his truck. Poor old Eddie, yearning for out-of-reach Phoebe Fitzgerald. She had an Irish name, but she went to Miss Perry’s Episcopalian church, had gone to a fancy college. What was she going to do with the likes of Eddie Wormsley?

What did Elsie Buttrick do with the likes of Dick?

May wondered how long she’d have to go on pulling thoughts out of her head. It seemed as endless as pulling rocks out of a field.

Eddie’s putting in some hours,” Mary said. “I saw him and his crew working on Dick’s house Sunday morning.”

Elsie saw Mary suck in a little breath after she mentioned Dick. Mary’s fair face was like a screen — the slightest embarrassment sent a blush skimming across it. Elsie said, “Mary, Dick lives just down the road. If you look funny every time his name comes up, people are going to think you’re the mother.”

Mary laughed. “That’d keep ’em guessing.” She laughed again but stopped when they heard a car horn give two beeps. The noise woke Rose. Elsie went in to pick her up. After a minute there were two more beeps and Eddie Wormsley’s truck swept through the overhanging branches at the top of the driveway and pulled up behind Mary’s tiny pickup.

Eddie said to Mary, “Hey, good! I was hoping you’d be around. I’m just going to take a look, see how you like it.”

Elsie was holding Rose, who was crying softly. She cried louder when Eddie waggled a finger in front of her face. Elsie sat down on the front step, unbuttoned her blouse, and began to nurse Rose. Elsie tilted her head back to catch the sun and caught sight of Dick sitting in the cab of Eddie’s truck.

Mary led Eddie into the house.

Elsie couldn’t do anything but look at Dick’s face behind the windshield as Rose’s mouth pulled on her. It took him a long time to get out of the truck. When he did, he was as awkward as if he were on the deck of a rolling boat — no, at sea he was tight and nimble. Now he stood uneasily, one hand on the door handle. Elsie felt a puff of heat in her eyes, blurring him. She said, “It’s okay. Come see your daughter. Hey, Rose, it’s your dad.”

Dick said, “I’m sorry. Eddie doesn’t know … He just all of a sudden remembered he had to look in here.”

“It’s okay. It’s good. Here she is.”

Dick knelt and touched the back of Rose’s head with his fingertips. Rose didn’t stop nursing. Elsie said, “You’ll get to see her face when she switches sides.”

Mary and Eddie came back. Eddie said, “Oh, I better show you what I changed in the kitchen. Made some more space for your pots and pans.” Eddie took off his baseball cap and held the door for Mary.

“See that?” Dick said. “That’s Phoebe Fitzgerald’s doing. She’s working on Eddie, getting him smoothed down for their big-house clients. Look, like I said, I didn’t mean to take you by surprise.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry.”

“So. She’s healthy and everything?”

“Yes. Perfect.” Rose eased up and turned her head. Elsie cradled her and pulled her blouse shut. “She should have a little burp before she gets the other side. You want to hold her?”

Elsie held her breath as Dick’s hands took Rose, as Dick’s hands touched her. He lifted Rose up to look at her face, then held her to his shoulder and rocked her. Pretty good at it, remembered better than Eddie to go easy.

Rose burped; Dick handed her back. Elsie parted her blouse again and put Rose to her left breast. Elsie looked at Dick’s face. She’d wanted him for the certainty of his fierce instincts; she’d put herself in the way of them. Now he was uncertain. Perhaps he was undone by seeing his daughter — perhaps he was undone by the trouble he was in. She wasn’t surprised when he moved back, stood up, breathed in and out. He said, “Here we are.” He moved his hand in an arc. She knew what he meant — Wakefield to Green Hill, Worden Pond to Sawtooth Point. The bit of South County they lived in. She thought he’d be happier on his boat, out of sight of land.

Mary Scanlon and Eddie came out of the house. Eddie said, “So there you go. So long as you don’t get any new ideas. We’d have got Dick’s house in shape by now if May didn’t get inspirations along the way.” Dick looked at his feet and scuffed away the footprints he’d left. “So like they say at weddings, ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace.’ ”

Mary said, “It’s grand, Eddie.”

Elsie said, “Of course it is. I knew you’d do it just right.”

Eddie frowned and said, “I wonder if you could mention to Miss Perry that I’ve been coming up here to do some work for you. You know how she ordered me off her land.”

“She and I share the paved part of the driveway. But I’ll mention it.”

“As long as you’re saying that much, you might remind her that it was a wounded deer. I shot it somewheres else, tracked it here. I was just trying to put it out of its misery.”

Dick laughed. “You’re really scared of her. That was years back and you’re still ducking away.”

“Easy for you. You’re one of her pals,” Eddie said. “Come to think of it, all this time you’ve been taking her fishing — how come you didn’t clear things up for me?”

“Didn’t want to spoil the mood, bringing up your bloodthirsty ways.”

Mary laughed. Elsie thought Dick shouldn’t tease Eddie, the one guy who’d do anything for Dick. And she also thought how in South County a story could last for years.

Eddie said loudly, “Well, what’s she doing out there with you? Killing them innocent flounder.”

Elsie said “Eddie, Eddie. You’ll scare the baby.”

Mary Scanlon tousled Eddie’s hair as if he were a little boy. “Eddie, we’re all for you.” She hugged him from behind, a warm cloak. Eddie blushed.

“Hey, Mary,” Dick said. “He’s got work to do. You’re making him go weak at the knees.”

A couple of guys and gals, just kidding around. Elsie thought of the years she’d spent trying to be just one of the gang. So she was getting her wish. Here we are.

The men got into Eddie’s truck. Eddie made it around the gravel circle without tearing up any grass. The truck eased over the first bump, the tailgate chains clanked, the branches brushed the sides of the bed and then closed behind it. Another clank where her un-paved driveway met the asphalt. Then quiet. If Mary hadn’t been there, Elsie would have cried. Instead she said, “Did you ever think of Eddie?”

“Not that way. I’m sort of sorry to say it — he’s a nice man.” Mary held her hand out to pull Elsie up. “So, Rose,” Mary said. “You met your dad.”

Elsie put her uniform on again. It was still warm enough to wear the summer-issue shorts and shirt. The shorts were so tight in the waist she cut off the button and resewed it an inch looser. The shirt was tight, too. She unbuttoned the two top buttons. Wouldn’t do for facing the public. She put on a sports bra, but while that flattened some things it also squeezed some up and out. She borrowed one of Mary’s bras and lengthened the thread on the second button of her shirt. She loosened her web holster belt so that it slanted across the bulge of her lower belly. She blamed herself; she blamed Mary’s cooking. She swore she’d eat nothing but fish and salad for the next month.