John Casey - Compass Rose

“Yes. I’ll stop by again, too.”

“It’s much nicer here now that Miss Peebles is gone. I get on very well. I don’t want to be an extra burden.”

“No, don’t worry. Of course, now that you know all about Rose, I could bring her with me sometimes.”

Miss Perry said, “I’m afraid I don’t very much like babies.”

Elsie laughed. Then went numb, as if she’d been slapped. When she drove off she couldn’t remember if she’d turned and left or helped Miss Perry into the library.

It snowed around the clock. The snow drifted up to the bottom panes of the northeast-corner windows. Dick brought Spartina in just ahead of the worst of the blizzard. He took the Tran boy to the hospital with what he was pretty sure was a broken arm, then he went back to the boat. Tony Teixeira unloaded the catch with the help of some of the crew from Bom Sonho . Captain Teixeira (Tony’s great-uncle) had brought her in earlier but still had his crew stripping her for some refitting.

Dick told all this to May when he came home. Then he said, “Looks like I’ll be underfoot for a while.”

May was a little surprised at his soft tone. She said, “How’d he break his arm?”

“Fell. I didn’t see it. First thing I noticed was him trying to do something with one hand. Tugging at a pot, then holding on to a stay, then tugging again. We were bouncing around some. I got him below. Still stuff to do on deck. By the time I got a chance to look at him his arm was swollen. It was time to head home, anyway.” He stretched his legs out. “I feel bad for the kid.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t say I felt guilty. Just bad for him. He’s a good kid. I should have started him on a full share earlier. He and Tony get along.”

Dick was sounding drowsy now, talking into his chest. She hoped he wouldn’t nod off before supper. He didn’t take naps well, woke up cross. She said, “You want a cup of coffee? The boys’ll be back soon.”

“No, thanks. Maybe a little fresh air. It’s awful warm in here. Let’s go for a walk.”

“In all this snow?”

“Yeah. Put your boots on. Just down to where we can see the salt marsh.”

May didn’t feel like it, but she didn’t want this mood of his to change. The wind had died. The snow was falling steadily, but if she looked through it she could make out the snow-covered hummocks, the black creek bank with fringes of ice at its foot. The creek itself was still running, swallowing the falling snow.

Dick stopped and stared. May moved closer to him. He put his arm around her and said, “Not cold, are you?” He looked for a while longer and then started back. He said, “Old Captain Teixeira just keeps going. Says he’s retiring but still goes out. Not every time. I don’t know what he does all day when he doesn’t. His daughters run the bakery and the rest of them run the fish store. I guess he keeps busy looking in on his family. Oh. He asked after Charlie and Tom and you. I was kind of at a loss, I couldn’t remember all his kids’ names. Had to say something like, ‘All your family doing okay?’ I asked Tony how he remembers all the Teixeira kids, and Tony said, ‘I’m used to a big family — all you got is two.’ ”

May said, “Three.” Dick hunched his shoulders and walked back to the house. For a moment May wished she hadn’t opened her mouth. Then she ran after him. She caught up to him by the back door. She said, “So it’s against the law to say anything? Is that it?”

Dick nodded at the door. “I think the boys are back.”

“And when are they going to find out?”

“Not now.”

“You think everybody’s life stops when you go to sea? Mine doesn’t. I don’t disappear. Elsie doesn’t disappear. Your daughter doesn’t disappear. Elsie and Rose don’t just stay put up in that little house. And it’s not so little now that Eddie’s added a room. And how come? So Mary Scanlon can live there and help Elsie take care of Rose. You go out in your boat and it’s you say and your crew does. You come back and you make your list of things to fix on the boat. Maybe you better start another list.”

“What makes you think I don’t think about all that? Because I do think about it. It’s not something to just toss around.”

“I imagine you and Elsie Buttrick talked—”

“You through?”

“Oh, go ahead and clench up. But I’m not going to be the one tiptoeing around pretending nobody knows. Fact is, I’ve got a mind to go up there and see this child of yours.”

“I’m going in.” Dick put his hand on the doorknob but turned around. “I may go check on the boat. Take the boys. Let ’em see what puts supper on the table.”

He went in. May thought of ways to hurt him. She thought of ways to hurt herself. She pushed both away.

“What puts supper on the table”—he said that. But before that he’d put his arm around her. He’d been talking about old Captain Teixeira; he’d been drifting into thinking about how he’d be when he got old. Old and what? Settled? Happy? And she’d said three. Then blistered him when he walked away. Did she want to be the one who got angry? Was that the choice? Angry or sad? Something else was going on in her. Those things she’d said — she couldn’t remember them all, but just saying them had opened up a new part of her. Dick had a whole stretch of sea to roam around in — she only had her way of looking at things, and she hadn’t gone very far from where she started, just stayed at home. Imagining her life becoming bigger made her dizzy. But at the same time she felt less at the mercy of unhappiness.

She stopped worrying about what to say to Dick when he got back. She would make supper, he’d come in, he’d say something or he wouldn’t. Didn’t matter if he groused or acted sheepish. She’d just see how she felt.

Phoebe telephoned early the next morning. Dick was still asleep. Charlie and Tom were outside throwing snowballs at each other across the backyard. Phoebe said she was going up to see Mr. Salviatti’s statues, and would May like to come along? May said yes and laughed.

Phoebe said, “Well, you’re in a good mood.”

“Good timing’s more like it. The boys are on vacation and Dick’s back. I’d just as soon let them look after themselves for a bit.”

When they got in Phoebe’s car, Phoebe said, “I may be flattering myself, but it occurred to me … Maybe it’s all nonsense, but I did have some let us say ‘awkward’ moments in Italy. Of course that was years ago. Anyway, when I asked if I could bring a friend, Mr. Salviatti said, ‘Certainly, certainly,’ perfectly nicely.”

“Oh,” May said. “You thought he might get fresh?”

“He is an old charmer — not that old. Oh, I fibbed a little bit and said you’d been to see the RISD show.”

“What?”

“Oh, I know. It just came out in a rush, and I don’t think he was paying attention.” Phoebe reached into the backseat and handed May a folder. “I saved the catalog.”

“I’m not much good at pretending.”

“You can take a look and … I’m sorry, it was just this little bit that popped out. It’s not as if he’s going to … I mean, we’ll go into the garden and then we’ll see them and if we talk about anything, we’ll talk about that.”

They stopped at a large gate. May was impressed that Phoebe immediately knew what to do. She herself hadn’t noticed a little brass grille in the middle of one of the pillars. Phoebe got out and said something into it. May saw the puffs of Phoebe’s breath. The gate swung open all by itself.