Yu Hua - Boy in the Twilight - Stories of the Hidden China

I remained standing. He gave a smile that I didn’t expect. “Have a seat,” he repeated. “Why not?”

He spoke in a tone that would have made you think nothing at all had happened. My thoughts in an uproar, I sat down next to Pingping. Next thing, Lin Meng came over with pen and paper in his hand and sat down too. “You’ve let me down,” he said to Pingping.

She looked up. “No, I haven’t.”

Lin Meng ignored her. “You’ve let me down,” he continued, “but I’m not going to beat you, and I’m not going to call you names.”

“I haven’t,” Pingping repeated. “I haven’t let you down.”

Lin Meng was losing patience. He waved his hand in the air. “No matter what you say, I’m sure you’ve let me down, so stop all this nonsense! Just keep quiet and listen to what I’m going to tell you. We can’t go on living together, do you understand?”

Pingping looked at him, bewilderment on her face. He glanced at me and went on. “Is that clear? You and I have to get divorced, there’s no other way out.”

Tears streamed down Pingping’s face. “Why do we have to get divorced?” she said.

Lin Meng pointed at me. “You’ve gone to bed with him. Of course I’ve got to divorce you.”

“I didn’t,” she said.

At this stage, Pingping was still presenting her rebuttals in just the faintest of voices. I wasn’t at all happy about that. “You need to say it more forcefully,” I told her. “Say it to him loud and clear, there’s nothing going on between you and me. Bang the table if you like.”

Lin Meng laughed. “It’s useless, no matter how loudly she says it. How does it go? With right on your side, you can get anywhere; without it, you’ll get nowhere.”

“In this case it’s we who’re in the right,” I said, “you who’s in the wrong.”

Lin Meng gave another laugh. “Did you hear that?” he said to Pingping. “He’s saying ‘we,’ you and him. After I have divorced you, the two of you can get married.”

Pingping raised her head and looked at me. Her glance seemed like that of a woman who has just spotted a new partner. I waved my hand. “Pingping, don’t listen to his bullshit,” I said.

Pingping looked at her husband. He had begun to make marks on the paper with his pen. “I’ve worked it all out,” he said to her. “Our entire savings and cash on hand amount to 12,400 yuan. We each get 6,200. You take your choice of the TV or the VCR, and you can have your pick of the refrigerator and the washing machine …”

Seeing as how they were now discussing the division of property, I thought I shouldn’t hang around. “I’ll leave you to it,” I said. “I’m off.”

As I headed for the door, Lin Meng seized me by the arm. “You can’t leave now,” he said. “You’ve ruined our marriage, and now you have to face up to your responsibilities.”

“I didn’t ruin your marriage,” I said. “I haven’t ruined anyone’s marriage. What responsibilities do you want me to face up to?”

Lin Meng stood up and pushed me back into the chair where I’d just been sitting. Then he continued to discuss the division of property with Pingping. “Our own clothes, we take with us. The furniture we also divide equally. Of course, we need to apportion them reasonably — we can’t split the bed and the table in half … This apartment we don’t divide — it was yours before we got married, so you get to keep it.”

Then he turned to me and issued the following instruction: “After I have divorced Pingping, you have to marry her within a month.”

“You’ve no right to say that to me,” I said. “Whether you and Pingping divorce or not has got nothing to do with me.”

“You seduced her, you corrupted her, you induced her to commit adultery, and you’re telling me it’s got nothing to do with you?”

“I didn’t seduce her,” I said. “Ask Pingping: Did I or did I not seduce her?”

We looked at her. She shook her head back and forth. “Pingping, say it,” I said. “Did I or didn’t I?”

“You didn’t,” she said.

But she said this in the feeblest of voices. “Pingping, when you say this kind of thing,” I told her, “you need to be assertive. You mustn’t be so weak. When Lin Meng humiliates you in front of us, all you do is murmur, ‘That’s enough.’ You should stand up and issue a stinging rebuke.”

At this point, Lin Meng patted me on the back. “As a friend,” he said, “I want to give you some advice. Don’t try to convert Pingping into a shrew, because you’re going to be her husband in the future.”

“No, I’m not.” I said.

“You’re going to have to be.”

Lin Meng said this with such firm assurance that it quite unnerved me. Once again I turned to Pingping. “Just what is going on here? When I left my house, I had absolutely no idea of bringing a wife back with me — a woman, what’s more, who is the wife of a friend of mine. That would be bad enough, but what’s worse is that the woman is previously married and four years older than me. My parents would go ballistic …”

“That’s not true,” Lin Meng said. “Your parents are educated people. They wouldn’t be concerned about such things.”

“You’re wrong there — it’s educated people who are the most conservative.” I pointed at Pingping. “There’s no way my parents would accept her.”

“They’re just going to have to accept Pingping,” Lin Meng said.

“Just what is going on here?” Again I turned to her. “My brains are turning to mush. This is driving me crazy.”

Pingping was no longer weeping. “You shouldn’t have come here today,” she told me. “Having come, you should have left right away.”

Pointing at Lin Meng, she went on, “Although you guys are his friends, you don’t really know him at all.”

That was all she said, but it was enough to make things crystal clear. Now I understood why, as soon as I came in the door, Pingping was at such a loss what to do — it was because Lin Meng was not at home. Pingping was a bundle of nerves because I — a man who was not her husband — was alone with her. At the same time, I realized what kind of person Lin Meng was. “I used to think you were a broad-minded and generous person,” I told him. “But what you really are is small-minded and jealous.”

“You slept with my wife,” he said, “and you expect me to be broad-minded and generous?”

“I want you to know,” I said, pointing at his nose, “I’m completely sick of you. No matter what kind of garbage you spout, I can’t be bothered to argue with you. Pingping is the only person I’m worried about. I feel I’ve got her into trouble. I shouldn’t have come here today …”

Having said this, I started to get excited and waved my hand in the air. “No, I did the right thing by coming today! Pingping, it’s good that you and he are getting divorced. It’s just a disaster to live with this kind of guy. By coming today, I’ve rescued you. If I were your husband: one, I would respect you and never say things that would make you uncomfortable; two, I would be understanding and do my best to consider your needs; three, I would be genuinely broad-minded and generous, and not just put on a show; four, I would share the responsibility for household chores and not swagger around like a lord as soon as I get home, the way he does; five, I would never tell anybody else the nicknames that you give me; six, when you fall asleep in my arms every night, I wouldn’t be bothered by your breath on my neck; seven, I’m a lot stronger than he is, he’s all skin and bones …”

I kept going until I’d reached fifteen. After that I ran out of things to say and had to stop. When I took a look at Pingping I found her gazing at me with tears in her eyes, clearly moved by my words. Then I looked at Lin Meng. He was sniggering. “That’s good,” he said. “You put it so eloquently. I can relax now. I know you’ll be good to my ex-wife.”