Rick Moody - The Four Fingers of Death

“Space food is okay if it has ketchup.”

“Ketchup,” I said, “offers important vitamins. Same with fancy relish. Some of these vitamins are not found in the source vegetable. Ketchup is misunderstood.”

Laurie was doing pelvic exercises on the floor of the greenhouse, because Arnie had her on an exercise regimen and a prenatal relaxation program. He was even trying to whip up some folic acid — iron combo vitamin for her.

“Still, you’re excited to try a tomato now,” Laurie said to Abu, grimacing prenatally with her exertion.

“What are we going to do? Divide it into six?”

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

“Supposedly the apple in the Garden of Eden, the one that caused all the post-prelapsarian difficulty, was a tomato. That’s what some scholars believe.”

Abu alone thought this was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

“Are we going to have the tomato plain, sliced, lightly salted?” I further inquired.

“No basil,” Laurie replied, grunting as she attempted to touch her toes — with difficulty owing to her increased girth.

“And what about some of the related menu items? I don’t exactly have a Martian recipe book. But I have recollective skills. As regards marinara.”

Arnie, from back in the residence, appeared at this point and volunteered that he was attempting to compile just such a tome, a Martian recipe book, which would take into account the dietary needs of interstellar space and the shortages of various vitamins and minerals, which he believed could account in part for Steve’s depression, for example, and for some of the violent mood activity of all the Martians. (Perhaps, he opined, interplanetary disinhibitory disorder was just a dietary affliction that would remit under vigilance.) As per our earlier discussion about jointly owned literary properties, Arnie was prepared to cede the better portion of the cookbook proceeds to the Mars colony as a whole, his own take being designated instead for his heir, the first Martian native, whenever he or she should appear, or perhaps if not him/her, his kids on Earth.

I asked Abu how his sculptures were going. (And I should say: I was now in my second week of pilfering from the supply of pain relief medication to be found onboard the Excelsior , and while this had begun as a way of dealing with the pain, physical and then spiritual, of my missing and reattached digits, it now seemed as though it might in fact be treating the gaping loneliness of finding myself a Martian, and whereas Jim seemed to manipulate every such problem into an opportunity for growth and intellectual investigation, to me this loneliness was just a slow, murderous inevitability, making its way through me like infectious rot, and what helped was not coming up with new and better ways for Martians to communicate among themselves about their favorite recipes, although I admired the attempt at collegiality that was implied. What helped was being potted, tanked, obliterated, high , so that drool issued from me in a steady stream and I occasionally wet myself and was unable to sit up. This was difficult to achieve, but I was resourceful. For the time being, I had taken to lower doses, maintenance doses, which could also be orally administered, thus alleviating the problem of needle tracks. Moreover, under these circumstances I was a better conversationalist and a generally less uptight member of the Mars population. Therefore, I saw no reason to refrain. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that while high I had no compunction about continuing to deplete the resources we had in the area of pain relief, though there were obviously some situations that would require pain relief for the others soon enough, for example, active labor . When I was intoxicated, I didn’t really worry about the future. Nor was I good at interpsychic perception, or, as it is commonly known, empathy. Laurie was one of those people who would prefer a natural labor, though it would be logical under the circumstances to ask what a “natural” childbirth on Mars would look like, nature here being more inhospitable than back home. There would be no accoucheur or midwife with carafe of olive oil to speed her delivery.)

Abu answered that the sculptures were going swell , that he was beginning to feel that his sculptures were reflecting the landscape in which he lived, instead of being recollections of an earthly landscape. So it was possible that he was answering the question about what the medium of sculpture would look like here on this planet. This sculpture would be severe, he said, it would be free of comedy and irony, so that it better reflected the earnest striving of this place, this planet that perhaps wanted life, craved life, and craved especially the capacity of life to know itself, though this planet had so far been thwarted in its longing for vivacity.

While we were conducting this agreeable conversation, Arnie brought out the knife, a little serrated thing, and I watched as Laurie prepared to harvest the tomato, which was not entirely ripe. We could probably be forgiven for eating the tomato before it was at its peak, so desperate were we for the overpowering novelty of a tomato.

“You’re not going to wait for Jim?” I asked, hoping sincerely that she would not agree to wait. “Or Steve? Does Steve like tomatoes?”

“I saw Steve this morning,” Arnie said. “I think it’s safe to cut a portion for him that we can refrigerate until he’s ready for it.”

“We could save Jim some too,” I said. “As we know, many civilizations were founded when important thinkers of the day retreated into the wilderness in order to make themselves ready to receive wisdom and understanding. I imagine Jim is receiving messages out there. We should not distract him from the reception of these messages.”

Arnie gave me a look that suggested to me the possibility that my drug abuse was not going entirely unnoticed.

I continued. “Jim Rose is effective in a leadership capacity. My only regret is that I am not so effective myself.”

Arnie seemed on the verge of disagreeing with this, but the point passed without challenge. It was agreed then that a slice of tomato would also be set aside for Jim. To nourish him when he got back. Then Laurie said darkly, “But I’m not going to save a piece for him .” By which she meant a certain other member of the mission.

A dark cloud of worry hovered over the subject of Lepper. All were involved in prognosticating as to his intent. It was clear, I thought, that Brandon and José had been privy to military-industrial conspiracy on behalf of large defense contractors from back home. As, perhaps, had been Debbie Quartz, whose lecture to Abu, with soldering gun in hand, had concerned a certain bacterium. At the time, her speeches had seemed hysterical, pathological. Not now.

As I have said, I was able to monitor Brandon’s movements, with the locator that was built onto the all-terrain rover, and this information I passed on to the others each morning. I gave Brandon’s position and the amount of time he had spent at each location; I conjectured as to his activities. Before eating the tomato, in fact, I gave a very brief update, so that we could put Brandon behind us: Lepper was still at the eastern end of the canyon, and it was reasonably certain that he was mining something there, and that the nature of this ore, or this slurry, was the concealed reason for our trip to Mars. The question was whether it was, in fact, mineral, or, well, vegetable, by which I suppose I meant: M. thanatobacillus .

“And that is enough of that,” I said.

“Yep,” Laurie said. “Because we have this tomato, and we are going to eat this tomato, and I’m going to pick the seeds from it, and I’m going to plant the seeds, and through the use of some transgenetic horticultural techniques, I’m going to try to boost the tomato yield here in the greenhouse.”