Andrew O'Hagan - The Illuminations

After the toast and marmalade, Jack from flat 19 began talking about the blackout. Anne shuddered when he first used the word. He said it again: ‘You know, the blackout. When they had to board up all the windows.’

‘That’s right,’ Anne said. ‘That was before I came to live in Glasgow with my aunts.’

‘What year was that?’

‘I couldn’t tell you. There was a new war on. They said they wouldn’t let the ships pass through.’

‘Suez.’

Another of the men looked up. ‘So that’s 1956,’ he said.

Anne’s experience at the Memory Club had ignited her curiosity or irritated her, she couldn’t decide. It was odd. There was just so much detail in a person’s life and you did well to get rid of the half of it. If you were any good you protected yourself by holding on to this and forgetting that. And even the bits you keep are best kept in silence.

These foolish things remind me of you.

She used to say it to Luke when he was a boy. ‘You’ve got to live a life proportionate to your nature,’ she said. ‘You’ve got to find out what that means and then stick to it.’ She could still see the boy’s eyes, ready to understand, even if he couldn’t yet. That was Luke. ‘Never worry a jot about what other people are going to say,’ she said to him. When he later decided to join the army it was a shock to many people but she didn’t hesitate to come after him and shake his hand. She remembered the time she got the plane and went all the way to England to see him graduate in his nice red sash and they walked round a church.

‘My Harry flew Lysanders,’ she said to the others at the breakfast table. ‘I know that much. They were painted black to beat the radar. Nobody knew where the airstrip was.’

‘It’s nice nattering to you, Anne,’ said Jack from number 19. ‘Because you’re educated.’ Maureen came in with the news that Mr Obama was disliked by quite a lot of people. She said it as she

cleared away the breakfast things, believing the TV news was private and that it was her choice to spread it about, after the toast. The others could always tell when Maureen had just been speaking to one of her children because the rims of her eyes were pink and she became efficient.

‘This is more than one load for the dishwasher,’ she said. It was obvious Maureen resented them all using a separate knife for the butter and the jam. Jack cast her a look as if to say, ‘Who gives a toss about cutlery?’ That calmed her down a bit and she sat down to listen, even though her hands were shaking.

‘So was your Harry in the RAF?’ Jack asked. When he asked that question it was Maureen who reacted first: she put down her cup and her eyes moistened again. At the same time, Anne looked a little flustered and flicked the edge of the tablecloth.

‘Not just that,’ she said.

When Maureen thought about Anne in the future, her mind would settle on this moment, when she saw Anne looking helpless about Harry and the Royal Air Force. It appeared to Jack that Anne simply couldn’t remember what it was her husband did. But there was some kind of notebook on top of the ottoman in Anne’s bedroom, and she asked Maureen, very precisely in that moment, if she would kindly bring a folded piece of paper from the front of the notebook. When Maureen returned with it, Jack had moved on from that part of the conversation. But Anne thanked Maureen and unfolded the paper, on which was typed a single-spaced biographical report. Harry must have typed it years ago. The paper had a heading across the top that said, ‘Manchester Polytechnic School of Photography’. Anne smiled, she had confidence in the evidence she was about to give, and her clear voice gave dignity to the stops and starts.

Harry Blake was born in 1920 at King’s Cross in London. His father was a train driver and his mother worked in a brush factory off Caledonian Road. He went to school locally and then into the RAF. He flew Blenheims and Lysanders doing solo reconnaissance work in World War II, mainly photographic work as part of the RAF’s special operations 161 Squadron. This was abysmal work flying a jet-black aircraft into enemy territory from RAF Winkleigh in Devon. Terrifying missions were also flown out of St Eval in Cornwall. Harry Blake would often photograph German installations using moonlight for navigation and many times he delivered agents to France, landing in fields lit with only three torches. After the war Mr Blake attended Guildford College — handily only a few miles from RAF Farnborough — where he helped found one of the first photographic schools in Britain. He was later decorated for his war service before taking up a teaching position in Manchester. He is credited with supporting a new generation of British documentary photographers.

Anne folded the piece of paper and placed it under her saucer.

‘He was some man,’ Jack said.

‘He was certainly that,’ Anne said. She looked over at Maureen as if daring her to say otherwise. ‘That’s what you call loyalty. Sticking with people. And loyalty’s just the same as courage.’

‘Well,’ Jack said. ‘You have plenty of words. I’ll say that for you, Anne. You have more words in you this morning than Heather’s had in sixty-odd years of marriage.’

Maureen frowned. ‘Now, Jack. What was that Anne was saying about loyalty? Don’t speak ill of Heather. You’ve got to stick by your family, haven’t you?’ Anne was staring into the plants. And after a few moments Maureen was off on one, rattling away

before crashing her cup down on her saucer. ‘Stick by them? Hell as like. You stick by them for years and what thanks do you get? Wouldn’t give you daylight in a dark corner. Talk about selfish: you could be lying dead.’

Maureen was upset because one of her kids hadn’t sent her a birthday card. Esther was always busy and it was good to be busy but it hurt Maureen to think that her own daughter couldn’t stop and buy a card. Maureen was a slave to Hallmark and she’d never met a flowery card she didn’t like. It was the way her family expressed emotion, sending cards with nice words printed inside, and Esther had no right just ignoring it. No right at all. After all the things Maureen had done for her and all the sacrifices.

Anne’s mind was somewhere else, dreaming about The Beatles. They walked down the promenade in their silver suits and the girls came after them and the light was perfect that day. Jack turned over his newspaper and gave a low whistle. ‘That Abramovich thinks he can buy up the world,’ he said. ‘And it’s always the Russians that cause the trouble. Look at Afghanistan. It was the Russians that started all that. Brezhnev. Remember him? Brezhnev and his tanks upsetting all those people and now we’ve got to go in there and sort it all out. It’s a scandal.’

‘They would send word, wouldn’t they?’ Anne said. ‘If anything had happened to my Luke?’

‘Of course they would,’ Jack said. He folded the newspaper while staring into space and then turned to Anne. ‘It’s amazing to think about your husband and your grandson both being war heroes. They say talent often skips a generation.’

‘Not in this case,’ Maureen said. She was finally glad to have a new subject and felt wise about family. ‘To be fair. Luke’s father was a soldier in Northern Ireland and he died.’

‘Is that right?’ Jack said, turning to Anne. ‘You never mention him.’

‘It’s my family she’s talking about,’ Anne said. She was obviously put out by Maureen taking over and parcelling out facts. ‘Our Luke’s a soldier,’ she said, ‘but really he’s a bit of a thinker, more like my Harry than like his father, who was a nice fellow but had none of that.’

‘Your grandson’s a clever one?’