Sam Pink - Person

No one else is there.

Spring will come soon.

I can tell.

Hi, hey.

Nothing will change.

Hi hey.

A squirrel runs through the tubeslide and then drinks water pooled in the tire swing.

It is funny to me.

I laugh but feel bad for some reason also.

And I take the necklace out of the bag and then hold the necklace up against the sun and the necklace looks beautiful.

I’m laughing.

I can’t stop.

It’s stupid-awesome.

Yes.

The laughing feels so good.

It occurs to me that there might be gum in the middle of the earth.

That makes me laugh more.

Is there gum there.

It doesn’t matter.

This is so good.

And one day, there will be no evidence of me ever having lived.

No evidence identifiable.

And I’ve thought of no better practice.

In some dirt by the swingset, I bury the necklace.

Pretty deep for what I can do with just my fingers and the still somewhat cold ground.

Then, I’m done.

And it always seems that things are just about to drastically change and be better.

That I just have to wait.

Wait for a giant, gift-wrapped package to float to me, mine to undo.

And inside the gift-wrapped package: an endless orange and an immortal puppy and some money.

I don’t know if I should judge myself based on what I can accept or what I can’t accept but I do know that I always dislike where I am and then look back on where I was with sadness because it is gone.

(That means I am worthless and it’s my fault.)

Ha ha!

I stand in the playground and I feel like I would never be friends with someone like myself.

Never ever.

That I would never do that.

No I don’t know.

It doesn’t matter.

There should be a word for what happens when you begin to ruin a feeling by saying it.

There should be less right-heres.

I wear the same clothes over and over.

I’m pretty disgusting I guess.

And in my dreams now I yell at people but make no sound.

It feels like practice.

ABOUT SAM PINK

Sam Pink is the author of The Self-Esteem Holocaust Comes Home (Lazy Fascist Press), Frowns Need Friends Too (Afterbirth Books), and I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It (Paperhero Press).

Visit him online at www.impersonalelectroniccommunication.com.