Samantha Harvey - The Wilderness

“And so are you,” Rook replied. “What a relief that Jake didn't choose a mangled peasant for his lady wife — he always had that in him, a taste for the perverse.”

“I know,” Helen added with a quiet air of collusion. “I'm discovering, aren't I, Jake?”

“Discovering?” he asked his wife lightly, returning her gaze. “Discovering what? What perverse thing have I ever done?”

Helen inclined her head demurely, he thought, to one side. “It's not what you do, it's just your way.” Then she squared her head and shoulders in resolution. “I'm a royalist too, Rook, from this minute.”

“Of course you are, beautiful girl. Of course you are.”

He saw Sara light the candles of the menorah in the back window. The point of the menorah was to allow those outside to see in, so that the light became a flagship of faith and pride in one's faith. But of course there was nobody in the back garden to see in, and nobody beyond the back garden, and nobody for miles. What a suffocated little gesture it was, he thought; how the flames gulped at the air and then seemed to shrink in on themselves in denial of their own light. Years with his father had reined Sara in. Years of objection to that meno-rah, years of compromise. She shook out the match and hushed back to the kitchen. Against the orange carpet she looked like a waft of smoke in her grey suit.

The breathtaking sweetness of custard that she used to stuff the sufganiya, and the breath-stopping syrup of boiling jam inside the hamantaschen, and then the smell of pastry that forgave everything — the baked scents of his childhood that created a memory understood by nobody else, just him and Sara. Next to him Helen was telling Rook about how she had dreamed she owned the most beautiful Bible in the world, and how when she opened it the pages were made of water and the parables floated through them as fish. Water from the Bay of Biscay, she was saying, and as she spoke Rook was fashioning a fish from a piece of old blue paper he had taken from his pocket, which he handed to her with a ceremonial bow.

“Here, princess.”

She held the fish in her palm and examined it. “This is so wonderful,” she said, and kissed the back of Rook's hand.

He could still smell Rook, the ambivalent, industrial sweetness welded in his suit jacket. He began to get a feel for the old man again, his grainy temperament, sour breath, yellow fingertips, green eyes that didn't need (or wouldn't tolerate) glasses, and his endless giving — how he was always making and giving, his long fiddly fingers folding, bending, snapping, wrapping, tying as if driven by some hyperactive need to expel his heart through his hands.

The food was fatty, creamy, and sweet. It had been so long since Sara had cooked like this. He was reminded of how she had used to conjure up these feasts, always with some apology, trying to disguise the Jewish theme of the food as mere coincidence. After all, there were potatoes everywhere, so it made sense to have latkes, hasselback, hash, dumplings, potatoes mashed and roasted with garlic, crisped, layered, baked, re-baked, twice baked, stuffed. After all, the fishing ports were not so very far away, so it made sense to have gefilte fish, lox, tuna with fruit tzimmes, trout with cream sauce made with the fat of the fish, haddock stewed in milk. After all, there was a lot of milk, a lot of cheese, until the war closed in even on their piece of apolitical black turf. She did not use these excuses now but simply put the food down in hot dishes, presented them with gleaming cutlery and fine china, and asked them to eat.

“Sara, my queen,” Rook bowed, straightening his shambly old tie. “You have done us proud.”

Sara smiled and muttered, “Asch.” She had always prospered in Rook's company. She bent forward and poured him more wine, her ringed finger clinking on the bottle and her mouth open by just a margin when usually it was closed implacably.

“Are you from here?” Helen asked Rook, sipping at her wine, dissecting her fish with the impeccable cutlery that she manoeuvred with her impeccable manners. He had not really known how impeccable his wife was until that moment, a revelation that made him want to throw her a cigarette, tie her in silk, see her slump at the table in drunkenness.

Rook grinned once more. “If you must know,” he said with a swish of his knife, “I'm from Italian stock. Real name's As-anti. Fredo Asanti.”

“But you're called Charles—” Helen began.

Rook swigged. “All I like about Italy is the olive groves and the criminals.”

“Oh.” Helen scratched her cheek.

“Italy is a country that's got itself obsessed with politics and corruption. They're blind with it, all of them.”

“Except,” Sara said, “those men who tried to kill Mussolini. You don't mean they were blind. You like them so much.”

Rook held up his glass suddenly. “You're right, Sara — to the men who tried to kill Mussolini!”

For the sake of it, they raised their glasses. Fervour beamed in Rook's eyes. Suddenly he laughed as if deeply amused by something, then stopped and turned.

“And what, Jake, do you think of fatherhood?”

He considered considering. He considered applying himself properly to the subject matter and explaining how very strange it was, how vivid was the idea of a child and yet how remote was the reality now it had actually come, how impertinent it was of Henry to have his own character when once he had been the random collision of an accommodating egg and an ambitious sperm (his sperm, his!), how he loved him, how he was in some way afraid of and for him. But he knew that Rook was on his own course and that whatever answer he gave would be immaterial.

“I like it,” he said at length.

“Yes, and so you should. Parenthood is unpolitical — oh of course it becomes political, that's when it goes wrong and the trouble begins. But at first parenthood is monarchy. King, queen, and their wee little prince, and none of this manure about freedom and votes and agendas. No, it's just there. Ma and Pa. You can't choose them. Ma and Pa are your nation, your history, and your language, and all the rest—”

“Not for you, Rook, Charles, Fredo, whatever you are called,” Sara chided, waving her hand. “There is nothing unified about you. You don't even know what language you speak, huh?”

“But you have a point,” he told Rook, propelled into thought. “It becomes political. One day Henry will start to think he has rights himself. We won't be enough for him, or right for him. Too right wing or something. Our policies will bore him. Maybe he'll divorce us.”

“Of course he won't,” Helen was quick to add.

They were approaching a point of saturation with the food, merely toying with it. Helen had stopped some time ago and Sara had never truly started; Rook was picking at the kishke, modelling his napkin into a boat, he himself was de-fleshing the bones of the fish with greasy fingers.

“We need to clean up The Sun Rises,” he said suddenly. “The place looks a mess.”

“The sign is missing an e ,” Helen added, pushing her glass away. She looked a little drunk.

Rook chuckled and let his head rock back. “The sign is missing an e ! You're a funny girl.” He reached over and took Helen's hand.

“It is!” she said, flushing.

Rook tried for a compassionate look. “Tell me which e .”

“At the end of Rises”'

“Then we must find it!”

Helen assessed Rook for two or three seconds, trying, maybe, to gauge what sort of person this old man was requiring her to be. Her eyes flickered bright hazel and she crossed her arms. “Where can it be?” she giggled.

He had never seen this accommodating trait in his wife before. She was mild and gentle to a fault, but never ingratiating. But now she smiled as Rook opened another bottle of cherry wine and poured some into her glass, and she drank as if wanting little more than to please the old man.