Russell Hoban - Linger Awhile

Fallok stuck his head out of the second-storey window of childhood and said, ‘Hi, Irv. Hey, I’ve been meaning to call you but I got so far behind in my work that it’s been all I could do to catch up. What do you think of our girl? Isn’t she looking great?’

‘ Our girl,’ I said. ‘ Our girl is exactly what she isn’t. You were meant to bring her into flesh-and-blood 3-D for me , not for you and your friend.’

‘My name is Chauncey Lim,’ the friend said. ‘Try not to lose tranquility. “A bow long bent waxes weak.” One is divisible by three and it adds up to a good deal all round.’

‘Do me a favour,’ I said: ‘stuff it up your fortune cookie.’

‘How’s that arrangement sound to you, Justine?’ said Fallok.

‘Are you kidding?’ she said. ‘I doubt if this old drynuts even has half a pint in him.’

I couldn’t imagine why I’d ever thought I was in love with this woman. On the screen she’d had a wholesome kind of outdoor refinement but now the hang of her face was definitely sluttish.

‘First of all,’ said Fallok to me, ‘I clearly remember telling you that I couldn’t promise anything. I said that because I knew from experience that life is full of surprises. Secondly, we had no kind of contract, oral or written; I simply said I’d see what I could do.’

‘We’ve seen that all right,’ I said. ‘After that sighting of you and your bundled-up tootsie that night I thought we’d have some kind of a meeting but you haven’t been answering your phone and every time I’ve come here the door’s been locked and the blinds have been down. I couldn’t get any news from Grace and here I am again and here you lot are and you’re all right, Jack. Bloody hell.’

‘Look,’ said Fallok, ‘let’s try to be grown-up about this, OK? What we have here isn’t quite the usual boy — girl thing and it calls for a more sophisticated approach.’

‘I’m not even sure I want to approach it any more,’ I said. ‘I’m beginning to feel myself backing away from it.’

‘I’m heartbroken,’ said Justine. ‘but maybe there’s new blood coming our way unless it’s the Avon lady.’

Everybody looked at the door and listened but we saw and heard nothing. ‘Justine’s senses are sharper than ours,’ said Fallok. After about a minute there were two men coming down the steps.

‘It’s the Bill,’ said Chauncey.

There was a knock at the door and Fallok answered it. ‘I’m Detective Inspector Hunter,’ said a tall man with a deep voice and a Victorian moustache. He showed us his warrant card. ‘This is Sergeant Locke.’ Locke’s tumblers clicked and he nodded. Hunter looked at us as if he knew all our little secrets and right away I felt guilty.

‘Istvan Fallok,’ said Fallok. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘Are you the proprietor of Hermes Soundways?’ said Hunter.

‘I am,’ said Istvan.

Hunter swept all of us with his eyes like a beam from a lighthouse. ‘Do any of you know a woman called Rose Harland?’ he said

We all shook our heads and said no. ‘What about Rose Harland?’ said Fallok.

‘Later,’ said Hunter. ‘Are these your keys?’ He gave them to Fallok.

‘Yes,’ said Fallok. ‘Where’d you find them?’

‘Where’d you lose them?’ said Hunter.

‘Somewhere between here and Oxford Street, I think. On the way to HMV.’

Hunter nodded. ‘We found them in a dustbin in Great Marlborough Street. Any idea how they got there?’

‘No,’ said Fallok.

‘Where were you on the evening of Thursday the eighth of January?’ said Hunter. ‘Day before yesterday.’

‘Here,’ said Fallok.

‘What do you do here at Hermes Soundways?’ said Hunter.

‘Sounds in different ways,’ said Fallok. ‘Would you like to hear some?’

‘Yes, I would,’ said Hunter.

‘This is from Laminations on a Theme of Cthulhu by Fathoms,’ said Fallok, and started the music. ‘It’s a low-frequency enhancement,’ he said as the sound, mostly subsonic vibrations, made our bones rattle.

‘Deep,’ said Hunter. ‘Very hermetic.’

‘Most of what I do is,’ said Fallok modestly.

‘Yes,’ said Hunter. ‘May I ask who your friends are?’

‘Chauncey Lim,’ said Chauncey.

‘And where were you on the Tuesday in question?’ said Hunter.

‘Working late at my shop in D’Arblay Street,’ said Chauncey. ‘I do photographic novelties.’

Hunter looked at him as if he’d heard that sort of euphemism before, but passed on to me.

‘Irving Goodman,’ I said. ‘I was at home in Fulham, Kempson Road. I’m retired.’

‘From what?’ said Hunter.

‘TV writing.’

Hunter turned to Justine.

‘Justine Trimble,’ she said. ‘I was here with Istvan.’

‘Doing what?’

‘Nothing much, just what people do.’

‘Where are you from, Ms Trimble?’ said Hunter.

‘Texas.’

‘And your occupation?’

‘I’m an actress. I’m …’

‘The daughter of Justine Trimble who starred in so many westerns back in the 1950s,’ said Fallok.

‘Unusual for the daughter to have the same name as the mother,’ said Hunter.

‘Yes, I’m Justine Trimble Jr,’ said Justine. ‘I’m not a big star. Mostly I appear at motor shows and conventions.’

‘Can I see your passport, please?’ said Hunter.

‘It was stolen when she got mugged the other night,’ said Fallok.

‘Where did this happen?’ said Hunter to Justine.

‘Argyll Street,’ said Fallok.

‘Please let the lady speak for herself,’ said Hunter. ‘When did it happen, Ms Trimble?’

‘Between eight and nine,’ said Justine. ‘Night before last.’

‘That would be Thursday the eighth of January?’

‘Yes.’

‘Give the details of the incident to Sergeant Locke and we’ll get it into the system. You should go to the United States Embassy and they can issue you with a new passport if you can show proof of your identity.’

‘Yes,’ said Justine.

‘I assume you have such proof?’

‘Everything was stolen when I got mugged,’ said Justine.

‘Where was your birth registered?’

‘El Paso.’

‘When?’

‘Twenty-five years ago.’

‘Nineteen seventy-nine,’ said Hunter.

‘Yes.’

‘Where is your birth certificate now?’

‘At home.’

‘Which is where?’

‘Tornillo.’

‘Is there someone there who can be contacted?’

‘No, I live alone.’

‘Right. Well, if you go to the embassy I’m pretty sure they can get this sorted. How long are you here for?’

‘Three weeks,’ said Fallok. ‘She’s staying with me.’

‘Yes,’ said Hunter. He looked at all of us as if he would have preferred to lock us up but he contented himself with paying close attention while Justine gave the rest of her mugging details to Sergeant Locke which took about thirty seconds. Then Hunter nodded and they started to go but when he was half-way out the door he did a Columbo. With his back to us he stopped and raised his left arm as if he’d been brought to a halt. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘there’s just one more thing.’

‘What?’ said Fallok.

Hunter turned to face us and looked apologetic. ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to take saliva samples from the four of you.’

‘What for?’ said Fallok.

‘I don’t know,’ said Hunter. ‘It’s a new procedure the medical examiner keeps nagging us about. It’ll only take a few minutes of your time.’ From his pocket he produced four plastic tubes, each containing a swab. We opened our mouths in turn, he did his swabbing, replaced the swabs and stoppered and labelled the tubes one by one, said, ‘There we are,’ and left.