T. Boyle - If the River Was Whiskey

“Ken? What is it?”

Pat was right beside him now, peering over his elbow at the sheaf of ads and bills clutched in his hand. She’d been pruning the roses and she was still wearing her work gloves. They stood there out front of the house in the sunshine, hunched forward protectively, the mailbox rising up like a tombstone between them. “It’s Anthony,” she said, “isn’t it?”

He handed her the letter.

“My god,” she said, sucking in a whistle of breath like a wounded animal. “How’d he get the address?”

It was a good question. They’d known he was to be released from Juvenile Hall on his eighteenth birthday, and they’d taken precautions. Like changing their phone number, their address, their places of employment, and the city and state in which they lived. For a while, they’d even toyed with the idea of changing their name, but then Ken’s father came for a visit from Wisconsin and sobbed over the family coat of arms till they gave it up. Over the years, they’d received dozens of Anthony’s death threats — all of them bee-oriented; bees were his obsession — but nothing since they’d moved. This was bad. Worse than bad.

“You’d better call the police,” he said. “And take Skippy to the kennel.”

Nine years earlier, the Mallows had been childless. There was something wrong with Pat’s fallopian tubes — some congenital defect that reduced her odds of conception to 222,000 to one — and to compound the problem, Ken’s sperm count was inordinately low, though he ate plenty of red meat and worked out every other day on the racquetball court. Adoption had seemed the way to go, though Pat was distressed by the fact that so many of the babies available were — well, she didn’t like to say it, but they weren’t white. There were Thai babies, Guianese babies, Herero babies, babies from Haiti, Kuala Lumpur, and Kashmir, but Caucasian babies were at a premium. You could have a nonwhite baby in six days — for a price, of course — but there was an eleven-year waiting list for white babies — twelve for blonds, fourteen for blue-eyed blonds — and neither Ken nor Pat was used to being denied. “How about an older child?” the man from the adoption agency had suggested.

They were in one of the plush, paneled conference rooms of Adopt-A-Kid, and Mr. Denteen, a handsome, bold-faced man in a suit woven of some exotic material, leaned forward with a fatherly smile. He bore an uncanny resemblance to Robert Young of “Father Knows Best,” and on the wall behind him was a photomontage of plump and cooing babies. Pat was mesmerized. “What?” she said, as if she hadn’t heard him.

“An older child,” Denteen repeated, his voice rich with insinuation. It was the voice of a seducer, a shrink, a black-marketeer.

“No,” Ken said, “I don’t think so.”

“How old?” Pat said.

Denteen leaned forward on his leather elbow patches. “I just happen to have a child — a boy — whose file just came to us this morning. Little Anthony Cademartori. Tony. He’s nine years old. Just. Actually, his birthday was only last week.”

The photo Denteen handed them showed a sunny, smiling, towheaded boy, a generic boy, archetypal, the sort of boy you envision when you close your eyes and think “boy.” If they’d looked closer, they would have seen that his eyes were like two poked holes and that there was something unstable about his smile and the set of his jaw, but they were in the grip of a conceit and they didn’t look that closely. Ken asked if there was anything wrong with him. “Physically, I mean,” he said.

Denteen let a good-humored little laugh escape him. “This is your average nine-year-old boy, Mr. Mallow,” he said. “Average height, weight, build, average — or above average — intelligence. He’s all boy, and he’s one heck of a lot fitter than I am.” Denteen cast a look to the heavens — or, rather, to the ceiling tiles. “To be nine years old again,” he sighed.

“Does he behave?” Pat asked.

“Does he behave?” Denteen echoed, and he looked offended, hurt almost. “Does the President live in the White House? Does the sun come up in the morning?” He straightened up, shot his cuffs, then leaned forward again — so far forward his hands dangled over the edge of the conference table. “Look at him,” he said, holding up the picture again. “Mr. and Mrs. Mallow — Ken, Pat — let me tell you that this child has seen more heartbreak than you and I’ll know in a lifetime. His birth parents were killed at a railway crossing when he was two, and then, the irony of it, his adoptive parents — they were your age, by the way — just dropped dead one day while he was at school. One minute they’re alive and well and the next”—he snapped his fingers—“they’re gone.” His voice faltered. “And then poor little Tony…poor little Tony comes home.…”

Pat looked stunned. Ken reached out to squeeze her hand.

“He needs love, Pat,” Denteen said. “He has love to give. A lot of love.”

Ken looked at Pat. Pat looked at Ken.

“So,” Denteen said, “when would you like to meet him?”

They met him the following afternoon, and he seemed fine. A little shy, maybe, but fine. Super-polite, that’s what Pat thought. May I this and may I that, please, thank you, and it’s a pleasure to meet you. He was adorable. Big for his age — that was a surprise. They’d expected a lovable little urchin, the kind of kid Norman Rockwell might have portrayed in the barber’s chair atop a stack of phone books, but Anthony was big, already the size of a teenager — big-headed, big in the shoulders, and big in the rear. Tall too. At nine, he was already as tall as Pat and probably outweighed her. What won them over, though, was his smile. He turned his smile on them that first day in Denteen’s office — a blooming angelic smile that showed off his dimples and the perfection of his tiny white glistening teeth — and Pat felt something give way inside her. At the end of the meeting she hugged him to her breast.

The smile was a regular feature of those first few months — the months of the trial period. Anthony smiled at breakfast, at dinner, smiled when he helped Ken rake the leaves from the gutters or tidy up the yard, smiled in his sleep. He stopped smiling when the trial period was over, as if he’d suddenly lost control of his facial muscles. It was uncanny. Almost to the day the adoption became formal — the day that he was theirs and they were his — Anthony’s smile vanished. The change was abrupt and it came without warning.

“Scooter,” Ken called to him one afternoon, “you want to help me take those old newspapers to the recycling center and then maybe stop in at Baskin and Robbins?”

Anthony was upstairs in his room, the room they’d decorated with posters of ballplayers and airplanes. He didn’t answer.

“Scooter?”

Silence.

Puzzled, Ken ascended the stairs. As he reached the landing, he became aware of an odd sound emanating from Anthony’s room — a low hum, as of an appliance kicking in. He paused to knock at the door and the sound began to take on resonance, to swell and shrink again, a thousand muted voices speaking in unison. “Anthony?” he called, pushing open the door.

Anthony was seated naked in the middle of his bed, wearing a set of headphones Ken had never seen before. The headphones were attached to a tape player the size of a suitcase. Ken had never seen the tape player before either. And the walls — gone were the dazzling sunstruck posters of Fernando Valenzuela, P-38s, and Mitsubishi Zeroes, replaced now by black-and-white photos of insects — torn, he saw, from library books. The books lay scattered across the floor, gutted, their spines broken.

For a long moment, Ken merely stood there in the doorway, the sizzling pulse of that many-voiced hum leaking out of Anthony’s headphones to throb in his gut, his chest, his bones. It was as if he’d stumbled upon some ancient rite in the Australian Outback, as if he’d stepped out of his real life in the real world and into some cheap horror movie about demonic possession and people whose eyes lit up like Christmas-tree ornaments. Anthony was seated in the lotus position, his own eyes tightly closed. He didn’t seem to be aware of Ken. The buzzing was excruciating. After a moment, Ken backed out of the room and gently shut the door.