Nicola Barker - Three Button Trick and Other Stories

In the end they chose Chinese. On their way to the restaurant—along the High Road, next to the Shopping City—Sean noticed how other men stared at Shelly as she walked. She seemed aloof and oblivious. He wanted to hold her hand as they strolled along but she held her handbag in the hand closest to him which made this difficult.

They chatted about work and Shelly asked how his mum was. He said she was fine. It all felt rather odd and unnatural. He had imagined that she would be tense when she saw him but in fact she seemed perfectly relaxed and at her ease. If anything he was the one who felt uncomfortable. His previous role in their relationship had been one of indispensability. The whole point of him had been the fact that she needed him. He knew that she needed someone. He felt nosy and jealous but he said nothing until they were seated at a table in the restaurant.

The waiter flirted with Shelly as they ordered their meal. He noticed their eye contact and it made his stomach contract. After the waiter had left their table with the order (Shelly was hungry and had ordered a substantial meal), he played with his cutlery, making his finger into a flat, straight scale and trying to balance his knife on the finger so that it didn’t tip off, then his fork, then his spoon. Shelly watched him with a half smile flickering around the corners of her lips.

Eventually he said, ‘Is there someone else?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t have another man in my life at the moment, Sean, no. That was part of the deal, remember? It was a trial separation but our view in the short term was to getting back together.’

He nodded. ‘I know that, it’s just that you seem so different. You’re a different person to the girl I left five months back. You seem above it all now, like someone in love.’

Secretly he wondered if she was just in love with him and he had never really noticed before, had never really seen her before tonight. She shook her head. ‘I’ve already told you that I’m not in love, I’m just happy. If I’m in love with anything then it’s food.’

He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

His voice was rough and unsympathetic. She smiled at this roughness. ‘I mean that I’m happy because I’m using new sources in my life to find satisfaction and contentment. For some people it’s drink, for others it’s sex, for others it’s drugs. Well for me it’s food. Eating makes me happy. Before I thought that I only ate because I was unlucky in love but now I know that I eat because I like it.’

He had never been able to understand her delight in large spoonfuls of raspberry and rum mousse, the condensed glee in a packet of plain chocolate digestives. He said, ‘The doctor told you that compulsive behaviour always leads to unhappiness.’

She smirked. ‘Fuck the doctor.’

He frowned. ‘Are you?’

She laughed. ‘Be serious Sean!’

He smiled, but it was the smile of someone who thinks that they understand something when really they understand nothing. She said, ‘Compulsive behaviour is to a large extent something that people rely upon to get out of bed in the morning. It’s what makes the world go around.’

He shook his head. ‘No, that’s habit. If something is compulsive it’s usually bad for you.’

She smiled at him icily. ‘Like sex?’

He smiled back. ‘That’s pleasure.’

The waiter arrived at the table with the starters, some spring rolls and prawn crackers. Shelly ate a couple of the crackers and then started on a spring roll. He looked down at his plate but didn’t feel hungry. She said, ‘The more I indulge my compulsions, the less I feel them ruling my life. It’s weird. You’d think it would be the other way around but it isn’t. Eat up, it’s delicious.’

He tried a mouthful and it did taste good.

Her voracious appetite, which had developed two or three years into their relationship, had always violently irritated him. When they had first started going out she ate virtually nothing. When they went to restaurants he would joke about how little she ate as she ordered the salad option and ate very slowly, chewing each mouthful with great restraint and discipline. He thought it appropriate that women should behave this way; women who gained too much enjoyment from food, greedy women, were usually too demanding in bed. They made him nervous.

He stared nervously at Shelly as she chewed and swallowed with great finesse and rapidity. After several minutes the waiter came to take their plates away. Sean had left most of his starter but Shelly’s plate was clean.

The waiter smiled at her as he took her plate. ‘You enjoyed that?’ Shelly nodded. ‘It was delicious, but don’t worry, I’ve still got room for the main course.’

The waiter pulled a face which implied that he found it hard to believe that someone who looked as good as Shelly didn’t have to starve themselves to keep in trim. Sean was sure that he was staring at her breasts. He nodded curtly and dismissed the waiter with a brisk thank you.

Shelly touched her napkin to both corners of her mouth. She looked around her and studied the other people in the restaurant. Sean stared at her face; her green eyes, her strong nose, her dark black eyebrows and her curling fringe. He said, ‘Your hair suits you in that short bob style.’

She dragged her eyes from the couple sitting by the door and focused them dreamily on Sean’s face. ‘Does it?’

She paused and then before he could answer said, ‘Yes, I think it does. It’s still too curly. Bobs should be very straight ideally.’

He nodded in silence, pretending that he understood or cared. She reached out one of her hands and caught a droplet of wax that was dripping down the small white candle in the centre of the table on the side of her middle finger. It felt hot on her hand for a second and then solidified. She began to draw her hand back again but before she could properly do so Sean put out his hand and took hold of hers. Their arms were suspended uncomfortably in mid-air. She squeezed his hand fondly and then drew hers away.

The waiter brought the main course. As he dished up his portions Sean said, ‘What’s going to happen now, between us?’

In his car on his way around to her flat he had imagined this situation but the roles had been reversed. He had visualized Shelly, all tearful and cloying, biting her lip, begging him to come back to her. She’d change, she’d be less possessive, anything.

Shelly didn’t answer his question immediately. He repeated himself: ‘What’s going to happen now, Shelly?’

She frowned and eventually said, ‘I don’t know.’

She started eating. She had chicken chow mein with mixed vegetables in soy sauce. It tasted heavenly. Sean couldn’t eat. Everything seemed to be going wrong. He knew that Shelly needed him, needed someone. He put down his knife and fork and said, ‘Shelly, please tell me if there’s someone else.’

She didn’t reply. He began to feel jealous and angry, bitter. After a few minutes watching her eat he said, ‘I bet you’ll regret this meal tomorrow. It’ll take it’s toll on your figure.’

Shelly stopped chewing and looked into his eyes. ‘I shouldn’t think so.’

He frowned. ‘How come?’

She finished her mouthful and curled some more chow mein on to her fork, ‘I don’t gain weight any more. It’s connected to something called symbiosis.’

He grimaced. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘It means that I don’t gain weight any more but I can eat what I like.’

The flame on the candle flickered for a moment as the door of the restaurant opened. His eyes focused on the flame for a second, then returned to her face. ‘How is that possible?’

She sighed and put down her knife and fork and then leaned forward on her elbows and whispered, ‘I’ve got a tapeworm.’