Ivy Compton-Burnett - The Present and the Past

‘No, Halliday,’ said Ainger, gently, ‘not quite like that.’

‘Did the two ladies address each other?’ said Kate. ‘That seems a salient point.’

‘You use the word, Kate. “Ladies”. More is superfluous.’

‘What were you doing all the time?’ said Halliday.

‘What I could do. Being a friend to them in my own way.’

‘Well, be a friend to us in ours,’ said Madge.

‘There must have been a good deal of waiting to be done,’ said Simon.

‘Being a friend to them in their way,’ said Halliday.

‘Well, that was my duty, Halliday,’ said Ainger, simply.

‘England expects it of everyone,’ said Kate, sighing.

‘Ah, we know it, Kate,’ said Ainger. ‘You are correct in your figure.’

‘There is a strain of what is higher in all of us,’ said Kate.

‘But it is a pity it comes out in Mr Ainger just now,’ said Madge.

‘I suppress it in myself,’ said Mrs Frost, ‘for fear it should be too high.’

‘I am sorry if you meant to make a Roman holiday of it,’ said Ainger. It does not appeal to me in that light.’

‘Can you eat anything?’ said Mrs Frost, with her lips grave.

‘Well, it has taken it out of me. It could not be otherwise.’

‘Well, when you have put it back into you,’ said Madge, ‘I hope we shall see the result.’

Her hope was realized as far as could be expected. Ainger followed her suggestion, and then sat up and looked about him.

‘Well, it was a human scene. Human nature was writ large. And it is a thing that makes its appeal. I have always been struck by it.’

‘But what was said and done?’ said Madge.

‘Nothing of a nature to be passed on. But much. It was a contradiction in terms.’

‘Well, tell us what you can,’ said Halliday.

‘Greetings were exchanged,’ said Ainger; ‘remarks were passed; convention was pursued. But there was nothing that made for disclosure. It was the outward and visible sign.’

‘Of the inward grace,’ said Kate.

‘There is no better word. It is the one I should apply.’

‘Was there no sign of the emotions underneath?’

‘Kate, would signs have been in place?’

‘Well, we rather feel they would,’ said Madge.

‘The interchange might have marked any ordinary occasion.’

‘Perhaps that was what it was,’ said Mrs Frost.

‘You would almost have thought it, Mrs Frost,’ said Ainger, turning to her frankly. ‘So complete was the effort made, and the success that crowned it.’

‘How did the master comport himself?’ said Kate.

‘Like himself,’ said Ainger, smiling. ‘There was the first hesitation, and then the torrent flowed. And it was opportune, as there was the silence of constraint.’

‘Did the former mistress extend marks of recognition to you?’

‘Kate, we might have parted yesterday. I found myself looking to her in the old way. And the present mistress smiled upon it. I could have let the tears start to my eyes.’

‘Well; I expected to be more entertained and less uplifted,’ said Madge.

‘You use the word,’ said Ainger. ‘I can feel the better.’

‘I should have liked to see the ladies in contact,’ said Kate. It constitutes the climax.’

‘It was the high-water mark, Kate. As high as we need to go.’

The bell rang and Ainger rose with a sigh and a movement of his shoulders, as if acquiescing in the continued need of him.

‘It seems we have not always done justice to Mr Ainger,’ said Kate.

‘He has not always done it to himself,’ said Mrs Frost. ‘I don’t think he ever has before.’

‘I hope he won’t make a habit of it,’ said Madge.

‘We can tolerate anything the first time,’ said Halliday.

Ainger returned, resumed his seat and rested his head on his hand.

‘Well, they soon spared you,’ said Halliday.

‘Yes. Yes,’ said Ainger, just shaking his head. ‘There was not much I could do for them. I think it was just the glimpse.’

‘There was not time for much more,’ said Madge.

‘I think I fulfilled their need, Madge.’

It appeared that he was mistaken. A step sounded in the passage and Cassius came to the door.

‘Ainger, this is not the wine I meant. I must come and show you myself. It seems impossible to get it.’

Ainger rose with a finished, willing movement, hastened to the door to open it for his master, and preceded him to the wine cellar to do the same. Presently they were heard in the passage, Cassius using his ordinary tones, and Ainger subduing his, so that any subject could be inferred.

‘No, I can take it myself,’ said Cassius, revealing the nature of the last one. ‘I am going back to the library.’

Ainger returned with a firm step to his place.

‘The master would carry the bottles himself,’ he said, smiling. ‘I did not want to be spared.’

‘Well, you had what you wanted,’ said Halliday.

Ainger gave him an absent smile and relapsed into thought.

‘Are we allowed to disturb Mr Ainger’s reflections?’ said Madge.

‘Yes,’ said Ainger, looking at her kindly, ‘I am not so enamoured of them.’

‘Being to do with the family?’ said Kate.

‘Yes. The master did his best to give a natural impression. But I see that the heart is beneath.’

‘I have never seen him when he did not give one,’ said Madge.

‘No,’ said Ainger, looking at her in gentle acquiescence.

‘You think he would not show himself to me?’

‘Now why should he, Madge?’

‘I should certainly be flattered by it.’

‘Yes,’ said Ainger, looking into space. ‘One does feel that at first. But feelings supervene.’

‘You get your experience of life at second-hand,’ said Halliday.

‘Yes. Yes,’ said Ainger, spacing his words and just raising his brows. ‘It does amount to that. I find I can identify myself. But you, if I may say so, do not get any at all.’

‘May you say so like that?’ said Mrs Frost.

‘The real thing or nothing for me,’ said Halliday. ‘Do you not agree, Mrs Frost?’

‘Do you mean that I have nothing?’

‘The appreciation of all of us,’ said Ainger, in a full tone reminiscent of his master. ‘Is that quite nothing? And I will tell you one thing, Mrs Frost; and I don’t often commit myself like this. If there was anyone I could find myself regarding as a mother, it would be you.’

‘Be a good son to me,’ said Mrs Frost.

‘Is the first Mrs Clare still in the house?’ said Kate.

‘No,’ said Ainger, a smile playing on his lips. ‘I have attended her to the door.’

‘What is the jest?’ said Halliday. ‘Is there some second meaning?’

‘In a sense it was twofold,’ said Ainger, still smiling. ‘You showed her out when the moment came.’

‘That may be said of me. There is the ground.’

‘In some double sense?’

‘In one, if you like,’ said Ainger, yielding to a broader smile.

‘Did you exchange any words?’ said Kate.

‘We stood in converse for some minutes. But exchange was hardly the term. I felt it was for me to stand silent.’

‘Did she ask after your welfare through all these years?’

‘She did not fail to, Kate. And I answered her briefly, feeling that brevity was in place.’

‘We know more about you than we did,’ said Halliday.

‘It is often possible to live with someone and not know much about him, Halliday.’

‘Especially if he forgets to tell us,’ said Madge.

‘You none of you know what life implies,’ said Ainger.

‘I don’t think you have known very long,’ said Madge.

‘Of course we know,’ said Halliday. ‘Birth and death have come to us all.’