Ma Jian - Beijing Coma

‘I’m not going — if you’re not afraid, then neither am I ,’ Nuwa said, slipping into English again.

Zhang Jie and Xiao Li came over and told us that Tang Guoxian had gone to the Workers’ Federation’s tent to join the Dare-to-Die Squad.

‘I now officially declare the Democracy University dissolved,’ Mou Sen said. Then he looked at Xiao Li and said, ‘Go and join Bai Ling on the upper terrace. It’s safer there.’

‘No, I want to stay down here and keep an eye on things.’ Xiao Li was now wearing a baseball cap over the bloodstained cloth tied around his wounded head.

‘Shu Tong shouldn’t have deserted us,’ Mou Sen said. ‘He’ll regret it for the rest of his life.’

‘Come on, let’s go to the Monument,’ I said, taking Tian Yi’s hand. ‘We can’t stay out here like disbanded soldiers. Come with us, Mou Sen. The army tanks will be rolling up here any minute.’

‘It’s too much. Has anyone got any fags?’ When Mou Sen looked up at me, his forehead became lined with wrinkles.

I reached into my pocket and gave him my packet of filter cigarettes. ‘There are only two left. Don’t smoke them all at once.’ Then I grabbed Tian Yi’s hand again and took her back to the Monument.

On the Mountain of the Empty Mulberry Tree two hundred li north lives a wild beast that resembles an ox, but has the markings of a tiger. Its roar sounds like a human groaning in pain. Whenever this beast appears, a disaster will befall the land.

Almost everyone had retreated onto the Monument now. The rest of the Square was empty. I wondered where my brother was. I was worried. I didn’t want anything to happen to him.

A large mob had surrounded Bai Ling and Old Fu at the base of the Monument and had pushed Bai Ling’s two bodyguards away.

‘Dai Wei! Help me pull Bai Ling out!’ Big Chan yelled, waving to me.

I squeezed my way through. Angry students were pointing knives, guns and metal rods at Bai Ling’s face and shouting, ‘You want us to withdraw? We’ll kill you first! Do you know how many people have already sacrificed their lives for us tonight?’

A guy in a black vest was holding a gun to Bai Ling’s head. ‘Don’t listen to them. Tell the students to withdraw from the Square now, or I’ll shoot you. Enough people have died already.’

I had no weapons on me, so I didn’t dare fight them. All I said was, ‘There’s no use attacking Bai Ling. The decision about whether to remain or withdraw won’t be hers alone.’

A factory worker who had a wooden stick in his hand and a knife stuck in his belt said, ‘I’ll slit the throat of anyone who dares leave the Square!’

Tian Yi squeezed through, grabbed Bai Ling’s hand and shouted, ‘What are you thinking of, pointing a gun at a woman? Get out of here!’

‘Instead of attacking us, why not go and help the students who are getting injured at the barricades?’ Old Fu shouted.

The mob fell silent. As we pushed our way out, they cleared a path for us. Once we were free, we raced to the Monument’s upper terrace. When we got there, Bai Ling and Tian Yi slumped to the ground and burst into tears.

‘Where’ve you been, you two?’ Mimi said to them, stamping her foot in anger. ‘The Monument’s in chaos.’

‘We’ll have to do our broadcasts from up here now,’ Chen Di said, tugging the long lead of the microphone he’d just brought up. The broadcast station tent below was now surrounded by an impenetrable crowd.

‘Where can we escape to when the army arrives?’ Big Chan and Little Chan asked, walking over to me

I glanced around the terrace. A few foreign journalists were still milling about taking photographs of us. The students had instinctively huddled together, like fish that form a tight shoal when they sense the approach of a shark. The hunger strike tent stood in the centre of the terrace, peaceful as the eye of a storm. Everyone had forgotten about the three intellectuals and the famous rock star who were inside it.

I walked over to the tent, lifted the plastic curtain and peeped in. Shan Bo was lying down, his head resting on his girlfriend’s lap. The economist Zi Duo was lying flat on his stomach, while his girlfriend massaged his back. I couldn’t understand how they could lie so calmly while the sound of distant gunfire echoed through the Square.

Liu Gang was standing with Hai Feng and some other Beijing University students near the sculptured frieze at the base of the obelisk. ‘We’re enclosed within an outer circle of soldiers who want to drive us from the Square, and an inner circle of students and residents who refuse to let us leave. We’re trapped. All we can do now is wait here until the soldiers drag us away.’ He stamped on a basket of fresh flowers that had been crushed into the paving stones.

‘Let’s see what the four intellectuals think we should do,’ Hai Feng said, walking over to the hunger strike tent.

Wu Bin was with a gang of six or seven guys, all wearing red armbands and holding metal rods or wooden sticks. They looked like a special action squad. ‘The troops who’ve been sent to clear the Square have fought in Vietnam,’ I heard one of them say. ‘They’re wearing camouflage. They’re expert marksmen.’

‘If only we had some bayonets…’ said a small muscular guy in a white vest. He had a knife in his hand.

‘Are you crazy?’ I butted in. ‘The soldiers would shoot you dead if they saw you with one.’

‘And who do you think you are?’ the guy in the vest shouted, striding up to me.

‘I’m head of the student marshals,’ I said calmly. ‘I’m responsible for security in the Square. If you want to fight, go to the front line and help defend the barricades. The Square is the rear area of the battle. We don’t need military force here.’

‘I’m not leaving the Square! Do you have any idea of how many people have been killed tonight while trying to protect you?’ He waved his knife threateningly then turned round and rejoined Wu Bin. Another member of their gang was lifting a machine gun onto a marble balustrade. A crowd quickly gathered round them to see what they were up to.

Fan Yuan waved a bottle of petrol at the crowd and shouted, ‘All unarmed students must leave the Monument now.’ The bandanna he’d tied around his baseball cap said GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

Two female marshals from the Workers’ Federation broke into tears and said, ‘We can’t wait here for the army to kill us. Come on! Let’s go onto the streets and fight them.’

Shan Bo rushed out of the tent and shouted, ‘Put down your weapons! How can you hope to bring about democracy with knives and guns in your hands?’

A doctor followed Shan Bo out of the tent and said, ‘Calm down! You’re still on hunger strike.’

My brother suddenly appeared with a group of friends. ‘Anyone who’s afraid to fight should leave the Square at once!’ they shouted. ‘The rest of you must pledge to defend the Square to the death.’ They were armed with broken-off table legs. I told him to put down the weapons, but he ignored me. I remembered how once, when we were kids, he pounced on me and punched my jaw to pay me back for pinching his ear after he stole one of my biscuits.

‘You might have been able to fight off the armed police with those table legs,’ I said, ‘but PLA soldiers are surrounding us now. They have guns and live ammunition, and can shoot you dead from a hundred metres.’

‘If we’re armed, the soldiers won’t dare storm into the Square.’ My brother had spent most of the previous day hanging out with Wu Bin. After just three days in the Square, he’d become much more radical.

‘Don’t assume you’re invincible,’ I said to my brother. ‘Remember: bullets have no eyes. We can’t both stay in the Square. I’m head of security here, and if trouble breaks out, the students will need my help. You go home now. If we don’t resist, we’ll be able to return to the campuses or, at worst, we’ll get flung in jail. But if we attack, the army will shoot into the crowd and rivers of blood will flow through the city. One of us has to stay alive and look after Mum.’