Bensalem Himmich - A Muslim Suicide

I spent at least half the day trying to overcome my lack of sleep, sometimes by writing and at others by walking around my quarters. All the while I kept praying to God that he would find `Abla a good husband. At noontime I summoned her and told her to go to her mistress and help her take care of her aunt; she should not return unless it was with her mistress. 'Abla did what I told her, but Hafsa was there in the blink of an eye, her expression a tissue of anger as she glared in fury at both of us. Once `Abla had left, this squint-eyed harpy came over and gave me a blank stare as if to make it clear that she was fully aware of what I had found out. Then all of a sudden she let out a laugh, and her attitude softened. She asked me if I needed her for anything, and I asked her nicely to bring me some food to the misriyya.* I decided that, from now on, I would not eat anything she had prepared and cooked, even if I was starving.

Late in the afternoon I left the house to perform the prayers in the Zaghlu Mosque close by the place where the legal counselors used to sit. There I found all my friends except Khalid waiting for me. As I performed my ablutions, I found myself surrounded by an ever-increasing number of young men. 'Ali told me that the petition requesting permission for me to teach was being prepared. When I asked him about Khalid, he replied that he had gone off to do something that he had not described any further.

After evening prayers, I spent a few moments in silent contemplation while all around me gathered a large crowd of young people, obviously eager to hear what I would have to say.

"May I request your opinion, Sir," Al-Sadiq asked, "regarding a young man who right up to yesterday was cursing marriage in all its aspects, but purely on the basis of choice and thought rather than experience. In the briefest time imaginable he's become just like someone who's fallen in love at the very first glance. He shows all the signs of love as described by Ibn Hazm of Cordoba-what a truly wonderful scholar! — so much so that the words of the poet can apply to him in every way:

I did my best to look neither nonplussed nor amazed by this question. "Tell me," I said, "did this young man of yours fall in love with his beloved while dreaming, or did he actually set eyes on her?"

"He has seen her in flesh and blood. He has learned that she lives in a household endowed with honor and prestige, but, I assure you by God, he has never spoken to her or even made the slightest gesture in her direction."

By this point I had begun to develop a certain intuition. "This lover," I asked, "what exactly are his intentions and desires?"

"As he has lain on his bed in an agony of frustrated passion, I have heard him express a unique desire: to pronounce the threefold terminal divorce on his bachelorhood and marry his beloved without delay."

"Well then, Al-Sadiq, my legal opinion is that your friend should seek the beloved's hand from her family. If they accept, then he should trust in God and bind his life to hers."

Just by looking I could tell that the trio was utterly delighted with my opinion. I now decided to generalize my statement about the obligation of marriage.

"You young men of good will," I told them, "none of you should reach the age of twenty or so without searching for a wife to marry according to the law. That way you can steer clear of all kinds of censorious conduct and harmful indiscretions that inevitably accompany young people's unruly behavior-and how very many of those there are in this era of ours! Like prayer itself, marriage precludes fornication and evil conduct."

With a finger raised, a student now started reciting such Qur'anic verses and hadith reports as came to his mind on the subject. I thanked him for doing so and proceeded to comment on the passages he had cited, and in terms of both language and usage, going into detailed explanation whenever required.

At this point a voice was raised, inquiring as to whether it was better and more observant for a man to marry more than one wife or to have just one.

"There is a noble verse in the Sura of Women," I replied, "that should be cited in full in order to understand what it is saying: `Should you fear that you are not dealing fairly with orphans, then marry women in twos, threes, or fours. If you are afraid that you may not treat them all equally, then marry only one or whatever your right hand may own. That makes it more likely that you will not be partial' [Sura 4, v. 3]. So, if you all think about the matter carefully, you will conclude that this justification of polygamy is neither an obligation nor a command, but rather a kind of license dictated by temporary conditions and requirements. To be more specific, it is referring to the earliest conquests of Islam and the shortage of married men and bachelors that they inevitably caused. When it comes to a clearly fixed principle, the clinching arguments are based on the unequivocally clear verse that says, `even if you desire it, you will never be able to be fair to all your women' [Sura 4, v. 129]. In this instance justice is not merely a matter of expenditure, but involves matters of the heart and emotional attachment. In this latter sense justice-being clearly the more worthy and positive-was something that Muhammad, Lord of all Prophets, found to be a challenge. So what can we say about those who are not endowed with the same morals and virtues as he?"

Someone now inquired about the permissibility of a husband's striking his wife, based on the verses in the Sura of Women that are devoted to the topic. I explained that with this particular subject we are confronted with a case involving ultimate sanctions, namely disobedience, estrangement, or desertion. They may involve any number of shameful and extraordinary situations that can mar the laudable principles and goals of married life, something that is established in more than one Qur'anic verse. I pointed out that the application of the traditional injunction "to command what is good," to marriage as well as to divorce is "the most hateful to God among what is legitimate." To the people that believe in the unity of God and its monotheistic faith, this principle is the chief cornerstone and the clearest possible injunction, as it says in the verse from the Sura of the Cow: "You may divorce twice; then keep them in charity or else let them depart in kindness" [Sura 2, v. 229]. With regard to the question of the permissibility of beating your wife as found in the relevant Qur'anic verse, we need to bear in mind something that zealots and pedants overlook and fail to give its required importance, namely that the topic of beating is placed in a position following other measures that are considered preferable and anterior: counseling and separation. If beating should take place, then it has to be lightly administered, nothing excessive-with the sleeve perhaps or a silk strap. That is what is enjoined in those exact terms as part of the sermon delivered by the Prophet during the pilgrimage of farewell-that being the final statement of the noblest of prophets and an obligatory core of Muslim law. Even so, the fact of the matter is that, as I have insisted before, the Prophet of Islam, who is our model and guide, never beat any of his wives even in the most trying and tense of circumstances such as the famous incident in which `A'ishah, mother of the believers, was falsely accused.

I hesitated to recount this story and explain it, but I heard 'Abd al-'Ali continuing the discussion.

"Concerning the ideal woman, we children of this generation need to give maximum weight to what the truest of messengers had to say on the subject: `Take fully half of your religious faith from this Himyari woman,' by which he meant `A'ishah, the pure and noble. In another hadith he says, `If I had to make a choice, I would prefer women to men,' and in still another, `That which does honor to women is noble; that which belittles them is vile."'