Rabih Alameddine - I, The Divine

Sarah’s half-brother, Ramzi, lived with his lover in an old Victorian across the hill from her flat. The house, like everything in their life, was meticulously kept. The garden, which was small even by San Francisco standards, had a tropical motif. In the northwest corner stood a miniature fountain, shaped like a giant seashell, with water spouting from the mouth of an “authentic” black-lava Tiki god with red, faux-ruby eyes. In the northeast corner sat a hot tub, barely seating two, built to look like a miniature volcano, including a lava flow fit to scale. The plants were mainly giant birds of paradise, ferns, and even a new mutation of a banana tree, which produced inedible fruit full of seeds.

The brunch was in the tiny gazebo dominating the center of the garden. Sarah sat on the chair — the color of all the patio furniture was forest green, which was also the color of the gazebo — and felt dew seeping through her skirt.

“You know, Sarah,” Peter said when Ramzi was back with the drinks, “it’s always disconcerting to see you with your son.”

“Why’s that?” Sarah asked.

“Simply thinking of you as a mother is disconcerting.”

“Thanks, Peter,” she said. “I can always rely on you to say just the right thing to make me feel better.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Peter said. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just meant it’s difficult to see you as a mother since you never seemed to have developed any competence at being an adult.”

“Fuck you,” she hissed at him. “You’re such a stupid asshole sometimes.”

“And she didn’t mean that in a bad way,” added Kamal.

“Now, now.” Ramzi squeezed himself next to Peter. “Let’s talk about more important things. What’s this thing I hear about you being in love?”

Kamal stared at his mother. “I can’t believe you,” he said. “Don’t you have anything better to talk about?”

“Your mother wasn’t the one who told me,” Ramzi said. “I think the first to mention it was my mother. When I talked to your father, he told me as well. Then both my other sisters told me. Come to think of it, only Sarah hasn’t told me.”

“That’s because Sarah has better things to talk about.” Sarah gave her son a raspberry, beginning to feel the two mimosas. “If I wanted to talk about you, my dear, I would have told everyone how you were having an affair with Mrs. Hatem last summer.”

“I can’t believe you said that,” her son yelled.

“Did you say Mrs.?” Peter asked in mock seriousness.

“Oh, settle down, Kamal,” Ramzi said. “Did you think we wouldn’t know?”

“Everybody knows,” his mother said, sipping her drink slowly. Kamal looked more and more glum. “You’re part of the family. You can’t escape no matter how hard you try. Trust me. I tried.”

Ramzi glanced at his sister, a look of concern. “Was that a little bitter?” he asked. “You doing all right?”

“I’m fine. It’s not bitterness as much as confusion. I was just wondering how I could’ve been so gullible. I’ve been thinking about it all recently. I mean here I am, the black sheep of the family, yet I’m still part of it. I tried separating from the family all my life, only to find out it’s not possible, not in my family. So I become the black sheep without any of the advantages of being one, just the disadvantages. It doesn’t seem fair!”

“How do you mean?” asked Ramzi.

“So, Kamal,” interrupted Peter, “what do you think of our summer weather?”

Sarah stood up and stretched. She walked over to the volcanic hot tub. “You want to go in,” Ramzi said, standing right behind her. She smiled.

“No,” she replied softly. She sat down on the edge of the volcano, above the lava, and faced her brother. “I just wanted to get away from your boyfriend. He treats me with a certain condescension, which I do not like. It has to stop.”

“I know.” He stood in front of her, slightly embarrassed, hands in pockets. “Don’t think it’s personal. He just has trouble with my family, and with his for that matter. He’s terrified of anything coming between us.”

“Well, tell him if he doesn’t stop, something will come between you. I will fucking kick his butt back to Minnesota and he’ll never see you again.”

“Look, I’m sorry. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it. I’ll talk to him. I promise. Anyway, I’m interested in what you were saying about being part of the family. I’d like to hear what you have to say sometime.” He bent over and kissed her.

“Hey, Mom,” Kamal called, turning around in his chair. “Did you watch the women’s World Cup?”

“Of course, I did,” Sarah replied. “I loved it.”

“Hey, your mother was way ahead of her time,” Ramzi added. “She was damn good too. I can vouch for that. She was better than anybody on those teams.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“In any case, your mother cried during the whole final,” Ramzi said.

“Well, that’s not saying much,” Kamal replied. “She cried in the hardware store on the way over.”

“You did? What about?” Ramzi held her hand.

“Nothing important. Something silly reminded me of David.”

“Oh, come on. Are you still thinking of that jerk?” Ramzi turned away, looked up at the sky.

“You have to tell her,” Peter said, straightening his collar and adjusting his shirt. “It’s better if she knows.”

“Shut up,” Ramzi yelled.

“Tell me what? What should I know?”

“I didn’t want to tell you this, but we met David’s lover.”

“Oh, God. Is she beautiful?”

“ He . He is beautiful.” He fidgeted, his hands came together, fingers interlocked. A half-smile appeared on his lips.

Sarah laughed. “Get real. We’re talking David here.”

“It’s true, darling,” Peter said. He walked over to her. “David is gay. Or bisexual or whatever they call themselves these days. We met him and his lover of ten years. They’re an openly gay couple. David cheats on him with women. He’s just an asshole.”

“But he was married.” Sarah could not hide the shock.

“Yes. His lover told us the whole story. His wife caught the two together flagrante delicto and divorced him. David came out of the closet and moved in with his lover.”

“But he’s supposed to be getting married.”

“He’s a liar, Sarah,” Ramzi said. “He’s lied to you from the start, about everything. You know, in his perverse way, he probably loved you, which is why he hung around for so long. Who knows? But that’s why he didn’t want to go out anywhere with you.”

“Are you sure it was David?”

“Honey, I’m sure. David Troubridge. None other. He recognized us. We were talking to his lover first and all of a sudden David showed up. He could have died right there on the spot. He was stuttering. I wanted to leave that poor bastard alone, but Peter here couldn’t.”

“Oh, you’d have been so proud of me,” Peter told her. “I threw one of your tantrums. Ha! I told his lover, loudly, I might add, I’d never want to be seen with a closet heterosexual. I told him I know we’ve come a long way, but this city was not yet ready for a closet hetero. Then I told his lover we were leaving because his asshole of a boyfriend fucked and then dumped my sister-in-law. You should’ve seen his face. David could have croaked right there, but you could tell his lover had no clue. Well, now he does.”

“You went out with a homosexual for four years, Mom?” Kamal now completed the foursome around the volcano.

She turned around toward the hot tub, pressed the air-jet button, and dunked her whole head in the water. She heard distorted giggling from above. She lifted her head out of the volcano and faced the others.