Anne Tyler - Digging to America

Does everybody know each other? Jin-Ho's mother asked, and when no one spoke she said, Wonderful. Now, I think we should do the balloons first thing, don't you all agree? And get it over with.

Sort of like ripping off a Band-Aid, Jin-Ho's grandpa said. Right. So you bring that last balloon, Brad, and Xiu-Mei, you give me your binky…

She didn't wait for Xiu-Mei to give it to her, though. She just plucked it out of Xiu-Mei's mouth. Xiu-Mei's mouth stayed in a damp, surprised O shape and she looked around the room as if she wondered what had just happened. Here we go, her mother said, tying the binky to the balloon. It was a red balloon with white stars on it. The last, last one, her mother said in a sort of singsong. Ready, everybody? Everybody get some balloons from the living room, two or three apiece, and we'll go outdoors and let them fly off.

She stood up, setting Xiu-Mei on her hip again, and led the way to the living room. Xiu-Mei's mouth was still in an O shape. Jin-Ho kept expecting her to let out a howl but it seemed she was too surprised.

We fly the balloons? Athena asked Jin-Ho.

Jin-Ho said, Yup.

I want to bring mine home with me.

You can't, Susan said from her other side. You've got to let them go.

Other parties, you're allowed to bring them home.

Not when they have binkies on them, silly, Susan said. Athena blinked.

They went into the living room and chose three balloons apiece. Susan said, I'm taking all pink, which Jin-Ho didn't understand at first because the balloons were either red or white or blue, some with stars or stripes or with both, as if they might have been left over from the Fourth of July. Then she saw that Susan was talking about the color of the binkies. Jin-Ho herself had two blue binkies and one yellow. The yellow happened to be the binky that looked like a sideways 8, and that made her sad, a little, because she had a very clear picture in her head of Xiu-Mei sucking on it.

They all went back through the dining room, through the kitchen, out the back door, and down the porch steps. Mercy Copeland said, Oh! What a shame! She was looking toward the elm that had fallen across the garage front.

Yes, it broke our hearts, Jin-Ho's mother said. Not to mention we can't get my car out, or the patio furniture.

She was holding just one balloon, the last one with the white stars. Xiu-Mei wasn't holding any. Didn't she say she'd have six? She was sitting astride her mother's hip with her lower lip kind of pooched.

All right, everybody! Jin-Ho's mother called. Ready, set, go!

All the balloons floated upward. They went at different speeds, though, and some didn't go very far. One of Jin-Ho's balloons snagged on the fallen elm. One of Susan's landed in the Sansoms' hedge. But a lot of the others made it, and in a minute you couldn't see the binkies anymore but just the balloons they were strung to, like little red, white, and blue thumbtacks stuck to the perfect sky. Jin-Ho's mother had been right: they did look pretty.

Then Mrs. Sansom called, Bitsy?

She was standing on the other side of the hedge, holding Susan's balloon.

Bitsy, it seems there are infants' pacifiers everywhere in our yard, she said.

Jin-Ho's mother said, Oh, dear.

There are pacifiers in our rosebushes and our gutters and our dogwood tree.

I'm sorry, Dottie That TV cable that's hanging down from the electric pole in the alley? There are pacifiers all over it.

We'll clean them up, I promise, Jin-Ho's mother said. Oh, dear, I never thought Say there! Xiu-Mei! Jin-Ho's father called.

Jin-Ho's mother turned toward him as if she were glad to hear from him.

He was standing on the back porch, although Jin-Ho had assumed till now that he was in the yard with everybody else. Wonder if the Binky Fairy's left you something! he called.

Ooh! people said, and Xiu-Mei! Let's go look!

Xiu-Mei turned from face to face, still poochy-lipped, as her mother carried her up the steps to see what she had gotten.

Well, it wasn't an American Girl doll. But it was a fairly good present, even so: a little tiny stroller she could push instead of her grocery cart. It sat in front of the fireplace with a red bow tied to the handle. Won't your kangaroos just love this? her mother asked. Xiu-Mei didn't answer, but when her mother set her down she went over to her grocery cart and hauled out her kangaroo mama and baby and piled them into the stroller. Then she started pushing them around the living room. She looked a little naked without a binky in her mouth. She was so short that even though the stroller was toy-sized, she had to reach up to hold the handle. Everybody said, Aww, again. Lucy came toddling over and grabbed hold of the handle too, and the two of them pushed the stroller together while Jin-Ho's father and Lucy's father snapped about a million photographs.

In the dining room, Ziba was handing out soft drinks from the cooler she'd set on the table. Jin-Ho wasn't allowed to have soft drinks. She accepted one and walked off toward the window seat where Athena and Polly had settled again. Did the holes at the tops of your ears hurt more than the holes at the bottoms? Athena was asking. I want to get more holes too but my mom believes that's trashy.

Polly said, Trashy! Well, that's just because she's a grownup. And the two of them smiled at each other as if they were oldest, best friends. Neither one of them paid any heed to Jin-Ho.

Deirdre was talking on her cell phone over in the corner, facing the wall and keeping her voice low. She had a boyfriend, Jin-Ho knew, although she was only thirteen, which was way, way too young for a boyfriend according to Jin-Ho's mother. And Bridget was telling Mercy Copeland where she went to school and what grade she was in and so on and so forth, poor Bridget, while Mercy nodded very seriously and took a sip of her soft drink.

Jin-Ho's soft drink tasted like tin, but maybe it was supposed to.

Now her father was photographing Uncle Abe and Aunt Jeannine. They had their arms linked like a movie-star couple and they were smiling with all their teeth and Uncle Abe was saying, Cheddar! Roquefort! Monterey Jack! which was his way of being funny. But Lucy's father had stopped taking pictures and was talking with Sami in the living room. You want three megapixels at the very least, he was saying. Jin-Ho drifted on past them, keeping her drink can down by her side in case she ran into her mother.

But where was her mother? Oh, yes, there: standing on the front-porch steps with Jin-Ho's grandpa. Jin-Ho could see them through the screen door. They had their backs to her and they didn't even notice when she came up and set her nose against the screen.

Her grandpa was telling her mother that anyhow, he had work to do. He still had branches on his lawn as big around as his arm. And why I own an electric chain saw instead of gasoline, I don't know, he said. You might have thought it would occur to me that if I needed to cut any trees up, perhaps it would be due to a storm that had interfered with my power. So I'm having to use a hand saw, and I've still got a good, oh, eight or ten I understand, Dad, Jin-Ho's mother said, and I'm not trying to stop you, honest. But if you're leaving for some other reason if you're leaving because of Sami and Ziba… well, that's just silly. They love to see you! They don't feel the least bit strange!

No, I know that, Jin-Ho's grandpa said. Goodness! It's nothing to do with them. It's only that my yard, you see. . Then he trailed off, and when he started speaking again he'd switched to a whole new subject. He said, I keep going over and over it, trying to figure it out. I say, 'She seemed so happy; she never gave me the slightest indication; why did she let me imagine she loved me?' I remember how she'd bring me something to eat and then sit down across from me and watch my face to see if I liked it. No one will ever do that again. I don't kid myself! Nobody else is going to care about me that way again at my age.