Anne Tyler - If Morning Ever Comes

It was so clear still that he could have told Joanne, and by telling her proved that Lili Belle hadn’t won. For if his father had meant to go to Lili Belle’s, he wouldn’t have played that bagpipe joke on them. He loved every one of his children; he wouldn’t have left them with any unkind tricks. But even though he had thought about telling her, Ben Joe had stopped himself. It was one of those things that wasn’t mentioned in this house. Not even he and his other sisters mentioned it.

What else didn’t they mention? He looked down the stairs and frowned, wondering what went on behind their cool, bright smiles. What did they think about before they went to sleep at night? He leaned further down, listening. The twins were chattering away in the kitchen; in the living room, someone laughed and Tessie gave a small squeal. He began to feel a sort of admiration for them. It was like watching a man who has been to Africa drink tea in the parlor and make small talk, with all those things known and done behind him that he is not even thinking about. Behind him, Joanne padded back to her bedroom with a pack of emery boards in her hand, but Ben Joe didn’t look around. He remained in his own thoughts, with his hand resting absently on the stair railing.

When finally he came downstairs he made another tour of the house, just to see if anyone was free to talk to him yet. He started with his mother, who had joined the others in the living room and was taking tiny stitches in a white collar.

“Finish Tessie’s dress?” he asked.

“Obviously not, since that’s what I’m stitching on.”

He stood in the middle of the room, chewing on his thumbnail while he tried to think of another opening.

“Well, how’s the book store going?” he asked finally.

“It’s all right. What’s the matter, Ben Joe, haven’t you any plans for tonight?”

“Not offhand.”

“You certainly are restless.”

He took this as an invitation to sit down and did so at once on the leather hassock beside her. On the couch opposite him Susannah and Gram collected the cards that lay between them and Susannah began shuffling them. The cards made a quick, snapping noise under her fingers.

“Carol sure doesn’t look like a Hawkes, does she?” he said.

His mother held the dress up at arm’s length and frowned at it. “No, I don’t suppose she does,” she said finally. She lowered the dress into her lap again and then, feeling that something more seemed to be expected of her, said, “It’s really too young to tell yet.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Gram said. “Has the Hawkes nose, I’ll say that . Small and pointy. And Joanne’s little pointy chin.”

There was another silence. Susannah began dealing, slapping down a loud card for Gram and a soft one for herself in a steady rhythm. Ben Joe stood up again and moved aimlessly over to the game.

“I thought we might go see Jamie Dower tonight, Gram,” he said. “Car’s free.”

“Oh, well, I don’t think so, Ben Joe. Not tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Well …” She frowned at the cards in her hand. “I’d rather wait awhile,” she said. “He wouldn’t have settled his self properly yet.”

“What’s to settle?”

“Can’t be much of a host when you’re still feeling like a guest yourself, can you? Give him a couple more days.”

“A couple more days?” said Ben Joe’s mother. “How long are you planning on staying here, Ben Joe?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, it seems to me you should be gone by then. Columbia’s not going to wait on you forever.”

“Oh, well,” Ben Joe said. He was wandering back and forth with his hands in his pockets, occasionally kicking gently at a leg of the coffee table as he passed it. “Susannah?” he said.

“Hmm.”

“Where’s the guitar and the hourglass and all?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What you mean, you’re not sure?”

She brushed a piece of hair off her forehead with the back of her wrist and then switched a card in her hand from the left end of the fan to the right.

“I asked you if you wanted them,” Ben Joe said. “I asked if you would take care of them. ‘Yes, Ben Joe. Oh yes, Ben Joe.’ ” He made his voice into a silly squeak, imitating her. Of all his sisters, Susannah was the only one he was ever rude to — maybe because she was always so cool and brisk that he figured she wouldn’t change toward him no matter what he did. “I can just see it,” he said now. “Bet the whole shebang has just mildewed away to nothing, right?”

“In the winter?” Gram said.

“I bid two spades,” said Susannah. “Ben Joe, I am sure everything’s right where you left it. Except the guitar. The rest of the things I just hadn’t assimilated yet.”

“Well, where’s the guitar, now that you’ve assimilated that? In the bathtub? Out in the garden holding up a tomato plant?”

“In the winter?” Gram said again. “A tomato plant in the winter?”

Ellen Hawkes laughed. When they turned to look at her she stopped and looked down at her sewing again, still smiling.

“I declare,” said Gram, “you got no sense of season , Ben Joe.”

“Where’s the guitar?”

“Under the couch in the den.”

“Aha, I wasn’t far wrong. Right where it belongs.”

“Ben Joe,” said his mother, “there’s no reason to get so excited about a few possessions you’ve already given away. What’s the matter with you tonight?”

“But they’re my favorite possessions. That I missed all the time I was gone.”

“Then you shouldn’t have given them away. You’re too old to be missing things, anyway. Why don’t you stop that pacing and read something?”

He picked the newspaper up from the coffee table and began to read it listlessly as he stood there.

“And not upside-down!” his mother said.

“Ah, hell.”

He threw down the paper and turned toward the den.

“You need someone to take you out walking with a leash around your neck,” said Susannah. “Are you going to bid or not, Gram?”

“Pass.”

Ben Joe stuck his head inside the doorway of the TV room. “Tessie,” he said.

“Sssh.”

“Tess, I want to ask you something.”

“I’m watching television.”

“It’s only a cigarette commercial.”

“Leave her in peace,” said Jenny. “And don’t hold that door open, Ben Joe. The noise’ll bother the others.”

“Don’t either one of you want to go to the movies?”

Tessie shook her head, not taking her eyes from the screen. “It’s only what it just about always is,” she said. “Phantom of the Opera.”

“Why don’t you come in and watch TV?” Jenny asked.

“I don’t feel like it. I feel all yellow inside.”

“Well, close the door, then.”

He closed the door and came back into the living room.

“What happened to all those boys you used to go around with?” his mother asked.

“They went north , all of them. A long time ago.”

“Do you know any girls any more?”

“Them too,” he said.

“What?”

“They went north too.”

“Oh.”

“Gram,” said Susannah, “if you keep holding your hand that way I’m going to have to shut my eyes not to see what cards you have.”

“What about Shelley Domer?” his mother asked.

“Oh, Mom. She was my first girl. Her family went off to Savannah seven years ago.”

“Gram, wasn’t that Shelley Domer we saw the other day?”

“It was,” said Gram. “You have another diamond, Susannah. I know you do.”