Mina Loy - Stories and Essays of Mina Loy

The crocodile was delighted with the idea and kept quite still while they tied the Christmas tree to him. Then he practised walking nobly with his tail straight up, and when Christmas Eve came the children decorated the tree with coloured candles, fruits and crackers, and beautiful toys. They led him through the streets all lit up, and when they came to dark and narrow streets the crocodile walked in at the doors of the old houses and climbed up the stairs.

The poor cold little children huddled together on the landings and were delightfully surprised to see a Christmas tree walking up stairs.

On every landing the crocodile stood quite still and his candles shone and his toys twinkled while his friends gave toys and sweets to the cold little children who clapped their hands and gurgled with joy. And the funny Mamma who had trundled along behind with a great big wheel-barrow heaped with knitted woollen clothes of green and red, of yellow and blue, dressed the children most cheerfully and they felt much warmer.

Then the Christmas tree and the wheel-barrow went downstairs and visited every house where children lived who were likely to require them.

Now when the crocodile had got home and all his candles were burnt out and his tail tidied up, and he had been put to bed in the children’s nursery, and the funny Mamma came to tuck them all in, she found her children pillow fighting and the crocodile sobbing dismally but softly all to himself. It took the funny Mamma a long time to find out what was the matter, but at last the crocodile sobbed out, “I want a doll.”

The funny Mamma kissed the crocodile and said, “Of course you shall have one.” And after chasing her children to bed she telephoned to Father Christmas for a big doll with real hair. But next morning, to her surprise, the crocodile looked just as sad, and when the children gathered round him he confessed, “This doll is no good to me — I want a crocodile doll.”

Each child ran in a different direction to buy a crocodile doll, and each returned with a nice green stuffed flannel crocodile.

The crocodile was happy at last and was a pleasing sight trying to eat its porridge holding in its arms its six long dolls.

All these children were the children of Mr. and Mrs. Happy Go Lucky and lived in Jollyville where their wise parents had chosen a house with lots of twisty turny passages in which to play Hide and Seek, with a few rooms opening off them in which to live, and a large garden whose trees had been specially trained for climbing. Indeed they held out branches invitingly in just the right places. And these said the funny Mamma would not be too rough on the children’s necks.

One afternoon the crocodile took his six green dolls out for an airing in a doll’s perambulator, when suddenly it began to rain. The thoughtful crocodile tied the pram to a tree, and clasping his children in his arms, jumped into the river to keep out of the rain.

He was very much upset when he came out to find his children all sodden with water, quite spoilt. And he arrived home to tea in a most desperate frame of mind.

“Now cheer up,” said the funny Mamma, and stirring the fire to a fine blaze she laid all the crocodile dolls around the fender, and when tea was over they were quite dry, and were soon pulled and patted into shape again.

The crocodile was growing more human every day. In this democratic household where all who chose to come and live were sure to be accepted on terms of perfect equality, the crocodile’s better nature expanded under the sympathetic treatment. It was not long before he could scarcely tell the difference between himself and a child, and the funny Mamma would often lift him into her lap and only realised her mistake when she found that most of the crocodile was still sitting on the floor.

The crocodile became ambitious, he felt that if he could not be a child he could at least be as like one as it was possible to be. In fact the crocodile wished to go to school.

The children were called 1 2 3 4 5 and 6 because as their funny Mamma said so few children approve of the names their parents choose for them when they grow up, she had not thought it worthwhile to do anything more than number them until they were old enough to decide for themselves.

So 1 2 3 4 5 and 6 went to the school master and said, “Please Sir, the crocodile wants to come and be taught.”

“Taught what?” said the school master very hurriedly.

“Lessons,” said the children, “may it?”

“No,” said the school master.

“Please,” said the children.

“It is quite against the rules to receive pupils with even three legs and as for four! — It would be a most unseemly example to the children, they would become dissatisfied with the number of legs apportioned to them and would probably quarrel with arithmetic.”

“Sir!” said 6. “This crocodile has no teeth. He is quite accustomed to children. He sleeps in our nursery and lets Mamma tie on his bib.”

“Well,” said the school master, “you may bring him tomorrow to try, and if he is intelligent enough to pass his exams, which I very much doubt, I will accept him as a pupil.”

“Oh thank you Sir,” said all the children, “we promise you the crocodile will be perfect.”

On Monday 1 2 3 4 5 and 6 took the crocodile to see a singing master. They waited nicely in the parlour and did not put their feet on the chairs. When the singing master came into the room he gave one look at the crocodile and dashing into the garden he climbed up the nearest tree.

The children followed him with the crocodile and called to him to come down. The singing master was trembling so hard that all the apples fell off the tree and the children were able to fill their pockets. And surrounding the tree they told the singing master that if he could not give a singing lesson they could.

“Now,” said 1— “if you’re a singing master, sing.”

“B-b-bu-but,” stammered the singing master quaking with fear.

“Sing,” said 2. “Sing,” said 3. “Sing,” said 4 and 5.

And to each in turn the singing master only answered

“B-b-bu-”

“We are going to stay here till you sing,” said 6.

The poor singing master seeing there was no help for him tried his best, but the words would hardly come and the tree shook more than ever. He tried to sing “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary” which somehow came into his mind, but it sounded more like somebody after a cold bath.

“Just smile at him, to encourage him,” said the children to the crocodile.

The crocodile lifted up his head and opening his mouth — — — . The effect on the singing master was magical, he quite regained his voice and the tree stopped shaking.

“Excuse me,” said the singing master, “I was just looking for a bird’s nest.”

They went into the music room and the singing master sat at the piano and struck a note.

“Sing C,” said the singing master.

The crocodile opened his mouth once more to sing —

But this time the singing master was just as frightened as before he had been comforted at the sight of his open mouth. Indeed it was a strange sound the crocodile made.

“I think,” said the singing master, “it is a doctor not a singing master that your friend requires.” And bowed them to the door.

One day the children had a fine idea. They cut two fine rows of teeth out of white cardboard and fixed them in the crocodile’s mouth.

There was a fair in Jollyville and the children had decided to make their fortune as well as the crocodile’s so they put up a tent and hung up a big sign.

“Sixpence to see six little children put their heads in a crocodile’s mouth.”

The crocodile who would do anything to please his little friends, played his part as prettily as possible, and looked exceedingly ferocious when they put their heads between his teeth.