Ann Beattie - Love Always

“So what’s it like being an actress?” he said.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s not hard. It’s hard standing around the set while you do scenes over and over. Kind of boring.” That didn’t sound right. “Kind of exciting,” she said.

“I bet,” he said.

Another thought came to her. “Some days I feel like Jonah in the belly of the whale,” she said.

“Swallowed up,” he said.

“Yeah. So it’s nice to be in the country and all.”

He nodded. He took another cigarette out of the pack and lit it. “Hey, you don’t drink, do you?” he said.

“Oh, sure,” she said.

He got up. Across the room was a small refrigerator sitting on the floor, with a jade plant on top and a pile of paperbacks. He opened the door and took out a beer. “Beer or vodka?” he said.

“Vodka, please.”

He went into the bathroom. “This is clean,” he said, coming out, holding a glass. “The shelf’s just in the b-r.”

She nodded. She had had vodka before, in fruit juice, and it wasn’t bad.

“I’ve got some orange juice,” he said.

“That’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s all I like: vodka and beer. I drink Coke too. Real Coke, not diet stuff.”

“You’ve got a great body,” she said. “You don’t need to diet.”

He blushed again. The orange juice was in a bowl with a plastic top. He took off the top and poured the juice into the glass, which he had put on the floor. He poured some vodka in, then put both the orange juice and vodka back in the refrigerator.

“Sorry I don’t have any ice,” he said.

“It’s good and cold,” she said, taking a sip. It tasted almost like regular orange juice.

“I drank fifteen of them last month,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I mean in the same night.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’ve done that.”

“It’s not legal for you to drink, is it?”

“Sure,” she said.

“You’re fourteen, aren’t you?”

“Nah, that’s what the studio says. It’s sort of embarrassing that they always lie and everything.”

“How old are you?”

“How old do I look?”

He blushed. “I don’t know,” he said.

“How old are you?” she said.

“Twenty-one.”

He took a sip of beer. “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Yeah?” he said, taking another sip of beer. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah,” she said. “They lie about everything.”

“What do they lie about?”

“Oh, everything.”

He continued to look at her.

“The P.R. people say whatever they think they ought to say. You know, most of the dates are put-ups, for instance. Guys who don’t go with girls and stuff.”

“Yeah? You ever go out with one of those guys?”

“I like straight guys,” she said. “I guess business is business, though.”

He nodded.

“You know what they call Bobby Blue?” she said.

“What?”

“Bobby Blueballs, because he’s a mama’s boy.”

“Jeez,” he said. His face turned red. He took another swig of beer. “I stopped hanging around my mother when I went to kindergarten.”

“Yeah,” she said.

“So how long are you here for?”

“Not much longer.”

He nodded.

“You live here all year?” she said.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “This is my place.”

They were in a stucco building at the back of the inn’s property. It faced a tiny stream. There were two doors. As they talked, somebody came in, whistling. You could hear everything through the walls. The person who came in turned on the water and hummed.

“They threw this place in as part of the deal,” he said. “I used to room with another guy, before I got this job. I like living alone.”

“It’s nice,” she said.

“Well,” he said. “I’m not always gonna be a dishwasher. I’ve been workin’ a couple nights a week down at the hardware store. I install doors on the weekends with this other guy. We were thinking about opening our own hardware store.”

“You like this town?” she said.

“It’s okay. Only I don’t know if it can support two hardware stores, you know?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Maybe not.”

“What I am officially is an underachiever,” he said. “My brother’s in Juilliard.”

“What’s that?”

“Music school.”

She had finished her drink. She put the glass on the table.

“Would you like another one?”

“Thanks.”

He got up and took her glass back to the floor in front of the refrigerator.

“I thought maybe you wanted to be a chef,” she said.

“A chef? Nah. I’m just a meat and potatoes man.”

“So what’s your favorite show?” she said.

He poured orange juice and vodka in the glass.

“Could you make this one a little stronger?” she said.

“Sure,” he said. “Sorry.”

He put the bowl and bottle back in the refrigerator, took out another beer and twisted off the top. He went into the bathroom and threw away the cap, then came back and got the glass from the floor.

“I don’t believe you’re really sittin’ here,” he said. He shook his head. He took out another cigarette and lit it.

“Well, that note you wrote me was pretty nice.”

“Yeah,” he said, blushing. “I didn’t think the waitress was really going to give it to you, you know?”

“Well, I didn’t say anything because of the guy I was with.”

“Yeah? What guy were you with?”

“Oh — did you see who was sitting at the table?”

“I looked out the window,” he said.

“The tall guy with the sandy hair.”

“He your friend from Paris?”

“No. That’s another guy.”

He nodded. “You travel around a lot, huh?”

“More than I really want to. It’s nice to just hang out.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I can dig that.”

“I was with my aunt and some of her friends. We were going to the fireworks.”

“I missed them,” he said. “Yeah. I was working.”

There was silence again. The man next door was singing in the shower.

“Maybe we should go in the bathroom and sing along,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “He’s noisy. Bill Sinclair. He works maintenance. Cut his thumb off with hedge clippers last year.”

“Oh, gross,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.

“So where do you hang out?” she said.

“Raindance,” he said. “You been over there?”

“No.”

“It used to be on the main street, but it moved this summer. It’s down past the Episcopal Church. Sort of hard to find, if you don’t know what you’re looking for.”

“So do they have music and everything?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Live bands Friday and Saturday.”

“I’m always listening to music in L.A. It’s been pretty quiet around here.”

“Their bands are pretty good,” he said.

Nicole had almost finished her drink. He was watching her.

“Did you really keep the glass I drank out of?” she said.

“I was just kidding,” he said.

“I guess it’s not like it had a picture of me on it or anything.”

“Right.”

“Well,” she said. “It was nice to stop by.” She put her glass on the table.

“I don’t get it,” he said.

“What don’t you get?”

“How come you came looking for me.”

“I like to meet people when I travel,” she said. “I like to connect, you know?”

He continued to sit in the chair when she stood. She stepped into her shoes. It was always hard to slide her feet into jellies. She thought it would be awkward to have to bend over to pull them on. Finally she did have to bend over to pull the heel of the second one on her foot.