Magnus Mills - Three to See the King

‘No point in doing it yet,’ I said, when she raised the subject. ‘It’s practically autumn now and we won’t be opening the shutters till spring.’

‘Oh yes, and then you’ll find another excuse to put it off,’ she replied. ‘I want it done now.’

‘We haven’t got a ladder.’

‘Look!’ she snapped. ‘Do you want me to go up there and sort it out myself?’

‘No, no,’ I said. ‘I’ll take care of it.’

I wasn’t sure how I was going to lengthen it exactly, but I decided that if I went on the roof and carried out an examination, then she’d probably be satisfied for the time being. Having seen Simon, Steve and Philip all go up there without a ladder, I knew it must be possible. I waited until she’d gone for a walk, however, before I tried. To my astonishment I found it quite easy once I’d managed to scramble over the eaves, and by the time she came back I was an accomplished climber. I made sure she saw me at work with a tape measure, checking the length of the chimney against its diameter, as well as taking a note of the circumference. Then I tried to get down, and found I couldn’t.

She’d already gone inside when I made this discovery. The trouble was, when I dangled my foot over the eaves I couldn’t find anywhere to place it. At the same time I felt sudden beads of sweat developing all over my body. I sat there trying to keep calm and puzzling how the others had found it so easy. When I thought about it I realized they were simply more used to it than I was, especially Steve, who’d done countless alterations to his house. It just needed practice, that was all, so after a while I tried again. It was no good, though. The moment I began my descent the beads of sweat returned and I had to go back up. Now I was certain I was stuck.

Just then my eye was caught by the sight of some travellers in the distance. Such people had become so commonplace over recent weeks that if I’d seen them from the ground I’d have barely given them a second glance. From high up here on the roof, however, they appeared in a new perspective, and therefore held my gaze a little longer. Long enough, in fact, for me to notice that they weren’t heading west, as I would have expected, but directly towards me.

Peering more intently I saw that there were three of them, and that they were walking single file in the steadfast purposeful way I’d come to recognize amongst these migrants. Why, I wondered, were they coming to my place? I was about to call Mary Petrie and warn her when something about the first of the three attracted my attention. At the same instant I knew it was Simon Painter. Behind him strode Steve Treacle and Philip Sibling.

The effect of seeing my former friends was to propel me onto my feet, completely forgetful of my fear of heights, and turn away from them. They were sufficiently far off for me to pretend not to have seen them coming, so I fumbled in my pocket for the tape and then proceeded to take all sorts of measurements around the roof. I recorded, for example, the dimensions along the eaves, the rise of the roof above the gutters, and the distance between the gables. I continued like this for another ten minutes or so, all the time making sure I never glanced towards the approaching visitors.

Finally I heard the door opening down below, followed by Mary Petrie crying out.

‘Simon!’ she exclaimed. ‘Steve! Philip! How nice of you to come!’

In feigned surprise I looked round, expecting to see three faces gazing up at me. Instead, they were lost from view, presumably gathered in a cluster around the doorway.

There arose a babble of excited voices, and then I heard Simon saying, ‘He’s on the roof, but he hasn’t seen us yet.’

‘Well, he’ll be glad you’ve come,’ replied Mary Petrie. ‘He’s been missing you all terribly.’

‘What’s he doing up there?’ asked Steve.

‘Oh, he’s messing about pretending to measure the chimney. He’ll be down in a minute.’

I heard a boot scuff the ground, and next thing Steve appeared with a big grin on his face.

‘How’s the weathercock?’ he called.

Tine!’ I replied. ‘Never been wrong yet!’

‘That’s good! Are you going to come down and say hello then?’

His tone of voice wasn’t at all like the abrupt and impatient Steve Treacle I was used to. Instead it was what I could only describe as ‘more than friendly’. He was still smiling, and for some reason this made me feel quite vulnerable up there on the roof.

‘I can’t get down!’ I heard myself say.

‘Oh dear!’ he replied. ‘Wait there and I’ll get help!’

Moments later the others had arrived on the scene, offering words of comfort. I couldn’t see Philip, but I could hear someone scrabbling up the tin walls, and in a moment his head appeared quite close to me.

‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘You’ll soon be safe.’

The next few minutes were a blur of helping hands and guiding voices. In an utterly helpless state I was manoeuvred downwards until eventually I stood swaying on solid ground.

‘There, there,’ said Simon, putting his arm around my shoulder.

‘Thanks,’ I mumbled. ‘I thought I was going to be there for the night.’

‘You’re alright now, though, aren’t you?’

‘Oh yes. Never better.’

My weak attempt to make light of the matter didn’t appear to register with my rescuers. Instead, they all stood round enquiring how I felt and asking if I’d like to lie down for a while. It occurred to me that because of this incident I was now indebted to the three of them, and my actual feeling was one not of relief, but of irritation. To tell them would have been churlish, however, so after I’d recovered sufficiently I invited them into the house.

This was the first time that Simon, Steve and Philip had sat down at my table together, yet I couldn’t help noticing how relaxed they all seemed as a group. It was almost as if they’d spent many days and nights doing nothing but talking and getting to know one another. This I could imagine Simon doing quite easily, but I wouldn’t have expected it of Philip. Nevertheless, there he was in the thick of the conversation, speaking with great confidence to Mary Petrie. For her part she appeared to find our three guests quite fascinating. I’d assumed she would do her disappearing act up the stairs as soon as we got inside, but instead she joined us in the kitchen and started asking all sorts of questions.

‘So,’ she began. ‘What brings you back to these parts then?’

‘I suppose we’re on a mission really,’ replied Philip.

‘A mission?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We have an important task ahead of us.’

‘Don’t tell me you’ve come to fix the chimney?’

‘Not primarily, no.’

Philip glanced at Steve, who was now gazing intently in my direction.

‘Is that why you were on the roof?’ he asked.

‘Sort of,’ I answered. ‘Just having a look really. We think the chimney needs lengthening.’

‘I see.’

‘I suppose you wouldn’t know how to do it, would you?’

I asked the question as casually as possible, because I didn’t want Steve to think I was dependent on him in any way. There was a long pause before he replied, during which I realized he had ceased his habit of continually drumming on the table top.

Instead he sat calm and still in the place opposite mine, with his hands resting before him. Then, at last, he spoke.

‘I can’t do it for you,’ he said. ‘I can only show you how.’

Simon and Philip were seated each side of him, looking as though they approved of every word. Their eyes were on me, and I felt like I was being urged to accept some generous yet unspecified offer. At the same time I saw that Mary Petrie was regarding our visitors with a bemused expression.